Would You Be Mad?

[Cetawin]

Well since you would be in totally different departments and not "working together", I would be madder than a wet hen and he would be sleeping in the dog house.

I would see it as a betrayal. If he did not think I should have the job, his best bet would have been to stayed the heck out of it and not recommend someone else. I would be fuming!

 

[b.hromada]

Quote:
on second thought, rip him to shreds. Family before friends. It's the way it is. I'd be livid.

I gotta agree.

 

[1acrefarm]

What is the proper procedure for handling applications? I would think if you are a manager and do not personally hire a person trashing the app. to keep the higher ups from seeing it so your spouse is sure to get the job would not be proper. That app is supposed to be sent to the office to be considered or put on file. If he would have disposed of the app instead of sending it through it would have been a clear cut case of favoritism.That favoritism could easily come back and bite the company as well as him in the future. It sounds like you are already hurt just by the application results and it is affecting your home relationship. That should be taken as a sign. It is clear that it is best for your employers and your marriage that you work in separate places.

 

[mom'sfolly]

He did not pass on every application, he passed on one. I would be ticked as pork and seriously doubting the judgement and support of my spouse. This is boneheaded. By passing a single application on, he was in effect saying "I think this person is a better candidate than the others you have, including my wife."


He not only owes you an apology, he owes you a job.

I also would be looking for ulterior motives. Why did he think this particular applicant was so deserving?

 

[fordmommy]

I would be totaly upset. And that is NOT the words I would use.

 

[goobhen]

I understand that you are very upset (as I would be) I wonder if something might have been mentioned (by his boss) that another person needed to apply for the job so that your husband would appear to be an impartial manager. Maybe the HR department did get confused over who he was recommending. I think you need to talk to him when you are not so hurt and mad. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift to give to others and yourself!

 

[cmjust0]

Quote:
Can I just point out that you guys working at the same place created conflict in the workplace and in your home before you even got the position?

This kind of stuff is pretty much exactly what I was talking about when I used the phrase "valid concerns."

 

[cmjust0]

Quote:
The above is another one of those "valid concerns" about husband/wife working together, especially if someone has a jealous bone..

"Why were you in such-and-such's office today?"
"Ummmm...what?"
"You were in (his/her) office, laughing and cutting up."
"Umm..ok?"
"So, what was that all about?"

 

[cmjust0]

Quote:
Exactly!!

She's mad because her husband did what he would normally have done if his wife weren't in the running for the position.. She's mad that he was impartial and still demands an apology.. She's mad that the "other woman" was a SAHM for 13yrs, blah blah blah -- information she shouldn't know in the first place!!! People are already trying to put "Does he like this other woman??!?" doubts into her head...

This isn't just a sign, though...

If the OP can't understand why her hubs did what he'd normally do instead of favoring her in his workplace, this is a BLESSING..

 

[horsejody]

Quote:
If she got a job there on her own merits and he didn't want his wife working there, that would be his problem to deal with. DH and I worked together in the Marines, and we both worked at the same stock brokerage for a few years. There was never a problem with it. If she wants a job, she has a right to seek one. If he had strong feelings about her applying for a job there, he should had opened his mouth and stated his case from the beginning. He is her husband, not her controller. Sabotage is just nasty. He betrayed her trust.