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Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Beau coop, Jan 1, 2009.
your right, Carri. thanks.
can you ignore the snoring?
i snore like a freight train every night, but we use a really loud fan to block it out..also, you can be intimate in other ways..cuddling, holding hands..etc.
i would consider moving back into his room, or maybe plan "dates" to each others rooms? we have been married 16 years, and there were plenty of times i felt pretty lonely too, i hope it gets better!
If he won't see a therapist with you, see one by yourself. I don't think talking to people online about it will help your situation. Good luck.
i agree...you have to heal YOU...i honestly would go talk to someone about this....get a outsiders professional opinion...please remember you cant make someone want to change....all you can do is work on healing yourself..best of luck to you!....
I totally agree with Mof5boys1girl and Carri. I would try to ignore the snoring if possible. I have been married for 21 years now and we are 39 and 40 yrs old. We got married when we were 17 and 18. Have three kids but I could not imagine sleeping in a separate room as him. I need to feel him next to me and I feel safe than. When he is out of town I feel so alone and miss him. It's a two way street. Both parties have to put something in that they may not enjoy. Just remember...you can't always be happy but you should be happy MOST of the time IMO. If your not and if you cannot bring yourself to sleep with him then I would try to find happiness some place else and maybe seek a Divorce. It's not fair to you or him. Good luck!
Oh I just seen where you said HE was the one who left the room. In that case Its a little different. AND if he won't bother to try to make it work maybe he doesn't want to make it work but HE doesn't want to be the one to say it to you? It's a sad situation...sorry to hear your going through that
You can see a marriage counselor without your DH. It is up to you wether or not you tell him you are going. You can go and tell him that he is welcome to accompany you anytime. If you are a church Member you can also talk to your Pastor/ Spitritual couselor.
You can also go to thew Library or bookstore and pick up some "self help" type books on Marriage.
Seven principle fopr making marriage work by John Gottman is a good one- DH and I found this book very helpful.
I don't know about your personal life but do you or DH have any issues with alcoholism-self, parent, child, sibling of an alcoholic etc... I have found Al-anon to be my salvation at times.
It sounds like your feeling depressed also take a look at a depression screening tool like this link-
Make an appt with you Primary care Physician and talk about your results and how you feel. Your primary care Dr. Maybe needs to check your Thyroid function.
Make sure your getting regular exercise of 30 minutes a day, at least 15 minutes of sun exposure daily or/and Vitamin D/Calcium Suppplement. Cut back on Carbohydrtae consumption, increase protein, fruits and vegetables.
Get on BYC and Rant when you need to!!!!!!
i did not read this before it got changed, so i am only guessing but... i snore like made and my husband left my room about a yr and a half ago. it has really ruined our marriage. i explained i need a husband and not a room mate. alot more to it, but his sometimes doesn't even say good night and into his room he goes, and LOCKS THE DOOR.
i don't have any advice but is what i can offer.
thanks what was i thinking. As you probably know, snoring is NOT this issue, but I do think it was his excuse.
right...... good way to get out thou huh. one day he said, i haven't heard you snoring lately.... i said come back, he said no. great! o well at this point i rather sleep with the dog anyway.