Yet another chicken Crossing joke

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Redfeathers, Apr 29, 2008.

  1. Redfeathers

    Redfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 11, 2007
    Gervais OR
    If this is a repeat I apologize. If not...enjoy.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?


    BARACK OBAMA:
    The chicken crossed the road because it
    was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    JOHN MC CAIN:
    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
    recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
    dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
    road.

    HILLARY CLINTON:
    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
    chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
    uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! --
    that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
    deserves to cross the road.
    But then, this really isn't about me.......



    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
    realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS'
    side of the road before it goes after the problem on the
    'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him
    realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
    problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
    which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
    instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
    and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
    this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
    road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.>

    GEORGE W. BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
    We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
    road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
    There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
    satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
    have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
    side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
    now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
    misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
    and will remain against it.>

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!
    You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
    was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
    Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
    certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.

    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
    but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
    plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes,
    my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken,
    you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until
    we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white
    washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'.
    That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
    and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that
    was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
    to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
    of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on
    to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
    in peace.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part
    of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will
    never cra...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
    beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
    definition of chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS
    Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON:
    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
    chickens
     
  2. Rare Feathers Farm

    Rare Feathers Farm Overrun With Chickens

    [​IMG]

    Some of those are pretty good! LOL
     
  3. chicken_boy_Kurt

    chicken_boy_Kurt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 20, 2008
    You wrote all that? Good one.
     
  4. chicken_boy_Kurt

    chicken_boy_Kurt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 20, 2008
    And by the time I was done reading it someone else had already posted.
     
  5. Guitartists

    Guitartists Resistance is futile

    Mar 21, 2008
    Michigan
    OMFG!!!!! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] That has got to be one of the funniest things I have read in a LONG time! Hahahaha!!!!
     
  6. Yogiman

    Yogiman Chillin' With My Peeps

    679
    0
    149
    Feb 2, 2008
    South Louisiana
    What? No Jay Leno? Where's Jay? Gotta have a Jay Leno comment! That ain't fair. [​IMG]
     
  7. Redfeathers

    Redfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 11, 2007
    Gervais OR
    Quote:Oh heck no. I'm not that talented. [​IMG]
     
  8. chicken_boy_Kurt

    chicken_boy_Kurt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 20, 2008
    I meant "You typed that whole thing?":eek: If you made it all up thats even better.
     
  9. Cheryl

    Cheryl Chillin' With My Peeps

    So yogi, if you like Leno...add a Leno version!
     
  10. Cheekon

    Cheekon Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 26, 2008
    NY
    I posted something like this a wile ago. All the people were different though and I only saw one or two repeats. Good job! [​IMG]
     

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by