you guys are my family

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by the1much, Mar 27, 2012.

  1. the1much

    the1much Currently Birdless Hippy

    well, title says it all,, your all my family here.you all do more then you realize.you support,you criticize, you give ideas,you give good swift kick in the "mule" when needed, and your here even when we screw up. you all do good at the chicken thing too ;)
    i dont have a family, been on my own since i was 13. when my gramz and gramps passed away i was alone, you all took their place.
    i lost my family a short time ago in texas, have given up everything but breathing. my heart was crushed,my spirit broke,and my outlook on life was a coffin in the ground.
    through it all i still had BYC to fall back on,still had my family that has been here since the day i joined.
    skand said to me the other day<yes we are talking.. she saw a commercial and in it said," you dont know how many lives your marriage touch's....she said ours touched thousands,,i said too bad it didnt touch us..
    you all are intertwined in a sort of marriage here, and you have NO IDEA the lives you all touch.youve touched my life,and in more ways then that kick in the backside ;) ..
    me and skand are talking now,we are even doin what was needed a long time ago, we're listening too. for some dumb reason we seem to forget that part, and the most important part is not jus listening,, its HEARING. i have found its easier to hear when your own voice of judging doesnt drown it out.seems so simple, yet was the hardest thing i have ever done.
    the other day i got an email from a member here.said god asked him to help us. and of course me being me,too proud to accept help said thank you very MucH but i wouldnt feel right. he said he has followed us on BYC for years,and that me n skand had something others dream of. my part of "us" isnt MucH. we met over the computer 11 years ago, did some talking,and wasnt looking for anything more.1 day she sent me a pic of her.when i looked into those eyes i fell in TRUE love.
    we talked n talked i just got out of a 12 year realationship,she was in a bad marriage and we leaned on each other for support.
    1 day i said "i would give my left arm to have you here next to me". 2 days later,she was there next to me. boy she didn't know what she just got herself into lol.
    we went to texas for a vacation and ended up staying.i told her from the start i didnt want kids, i was too old and my son was raised and out.1 year after we met,,yupz,,here comes our daughter. when skand came to tell me, she had tears in her eyes,was shaking and scared i was gonna run. she said,"jim, im sorry,but im pregnant". she just looked at me. i got up walked over and gave her big hug and said," i cant think of a better woman to be the mother of my child then you sweets". and we both cried.
    we had difficulty with her family, i was a hippie who said exactly what i was thinking and didnt skirt over anything. she was always behind me 100% no matter what. our first daughter was born and things got worse and we moved away. later to return to texas and try there again. i had a good job as a manager at the second largest family dollar warehouse in the u.s.a. things were looking good.
    then as i was sleeping in a friends car comming home from austin we crashed.it was bad for me,real bad. i had ripped half my head off the skull, i broke 6 vertebrates in my neck c2-c7. my arm was paralyzed,,yes that left one i said i would give lol. i dont remember anything, from 2 hrs before accident to almost a year after.what i do remember is when skand found me the next day and came to the hospital,,oh ya, she was 7 months preggy with our second angel.i remember seeing her cry and holding her belly.and as the nurses were chasing me down the hall telling me i couldnt walk, i went home. there was bad times more then good.i would fly off handle,was very violent towards anyone i took as danger,and skand got the tongue lashings of the worst.i was VERY mean.i went back to work 2 weeks after the accident,all i can remember is thinking my family needed me and no matter the pain or suffering it caused me i wasnt goin to let them down.our second daughter was born 2 months later,i cant remember it, but i know how happy i was.
    i seemed to have forgotten those feeling,we moved apart every day since my accident, but she was always there for me.
    we both made some dumb decisions and we both did each other wrong,and we both gave up on each other.
    i guess you need to be without to know what you have.got to feel the pain to really feel the love.
    we are now talking every day, being sure to HEAR what each is saying.we've stopped pointing fingers and lay the blame on us both..
    the guy that wanted to help us has a house in northern maine.and old farmhouse(like the one im at now) and some land.
    me and skand are working on each other and our children which their gram has temporary custidy of(the truth is our kids should have never been taken but skand was ambushed and well we all know how the states in this country are so MucH smarter then parents)..
    im,,WE'RE thinking of buying that farmhouse.we know the cold weather will kill me, but we will find a way through. the person gave us a VERY good deal on the house,very good, and it will be a new start for us.

    thrugh all of this,, you all have been here for us, and from the very depths of my heart,, i thank you all, between you guys, god, and my girls, maybe i have learned my lesson..
    thank you ALL,, and i love you guys like FAMILY.


    Jim......the true BYC Hippie ;)
     
  2. gryeyes

    gryeyes Covered in Pet Hair &amp; Feathers

    Goddess bless you and yours.

    My friends at BYC are like rocks to me, upon which I rest when I am being tossed in the storms.
     
  3. the1much

    the1much Currently Birdless Hippy

    Thankies gryeyes,,they sure are, and sad thing is, they have no idea the meaning they have in our lives. the only reason i can even think of saying "me and my family" is because of the family i have here showing me "my family" is hard to actually put in words (specially with head like mine" what effect you all have on others.
    because of "this family" i can and have the gift of saying "my family"
    ;)
     
  4. dewey

    dewey Chillin' With My Peeps

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    north of eternity
    [​IMG] Congratulations on your new house and your new start. [​IMG]
     
  5. the1much

    the1much Currently Birdless Hippy

    thankies dewey,, means alot to us,,i just got off phone with skand,,after cryin,, then cryin more,, she says she loves you allz [​IMG]
     
  6. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Jim, you have been around for just about forever. One month longer than me. It is obvious to me you still love that woman with everything you have and if you need to eat crow to make it work out, then get out yer knife and fork. I've heard both sides, no one is blameless.

    Be thankful that karma kicked you in your butt and her in hers. Do not make the same mistakes twice. Because trust me, and you KNOW this is true: I will give it to you with both barrels if either of you screws up a good thing again. It takes two to tango - so stop dancing and get to work.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2012
  7. the1much

    the1much Currently Birdless Hippy

    both barrels,,i thought you had a tommy gun as fast as them bullets come out ;)
    your one of the special ones here, and are the true meaning of a friend n family member.
    and yuppers imma eating,, got me a whole flock of them crows and plenty of salt to go on them hehe
    thankies...from that place that feels funny in my chest,,and maybe a little from my feet ;)

    edit ta say: jus got off phone with her and she told me tell you guys the truth... only reason we're getting back together is so i can get my 3 bators back ;)
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2012
  8. the1much

    the1much Currently Birdless Hippy

    wellz,, looks like its not gonna work out, but we tried. i will always be here for her if she needs me, but theres things we just cant get past. guess you all can blame me, i have hard time with the person i love telling me she loves me then turning round and telling her bf same thing. hopefully we will grow because of this, i know our family has grown.
    this will last post about us. sorry to put you all through this but i have absolutly nobody to talk to and nobody that has ever heard my side or my fears,,.
    thank you all for being here.
    as for the house, well i cant take it in the manner it was given so i would feel guilty going there myself. to that person who offered, i am TRUELY greatful and your compassion has touched me in every way possible.. thank you

    as to the rest of you guyz, as i tell my girls...
    love you,,, not a little,,, not alot,, a whole big bunch.
    [​IMG]
     
  9. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    Just saw this thread..
    Oh, Hippie dude... :hugs
     
  10. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    As long as this bunch is here you will not be alone. You may feel like it, but we are here.
     

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