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Thanks everyone for your support and your feedback. The emotional support helps a lot! It's helpful to hear about others having similar experiences (the emotional ambivalence, messing up the first time, that it gets easier but is never easy). It is so hard to reconcile my deep empathy for...

On getting "harder"/emotionally distancing: I'm reading earlier parts of this thread and it's so helpful to know that for a lot of people, while they get better at it, it doesn't get easier. As in, there is always some emotion involved, and that it's OK. The last thing I'd ever want is to feel...

*Finally* did the deed today (for the first time). It was awful. I processed two roosters. They had to go because we live in a suburb and their noise was threatening the existence of our whole flock. The first was actually not so bad but the second one was just a nightmare. They were naked-neck...