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One of my dad's favorite saying when someone was talking too much "he's/she's as windy as a bag of b*ttholes"

to put something in a bag..."put it in a poke" *neater than socks on a chicken *How you feelin? "Fair to Middlin'" My first MIL used to say " You couldn't pour pee out of a boot with the directions on the heel" and "Don't just stand there with your teeth in your mouth"