I have had some SERIOUS back pain but mine was the fixable kind. I do not envy you!
I'm a girl, so I really can't sympathize with you about your loss of manly usefulness....LOL To me, useful is useful, no matter the gender....
I really do hope you find some relief from your back pain!!!
I can sympathize too friend I deal with shoulders and neck pain everyday..... Some upper back too...... Coupled with breathing issues makes for many sleepless nights.... Take it easy.... Hopefully it'll settle down a little.