I have a few evil bird stories. Most are birds who are sexist.
1. White female parakeet I had as a child named Teedle.
She was a beautiful thing, my parents succumbed to my begging and eventually bought her for me at a fleamarket for a whopping $5. Back in 1978, that was a pretty big deal. Teedle was a bit of a female dog to tame, but she was young enough she eventually did enjoy spending time with me. She would sit on my books as I read and help me turn pages. Each day when school was about to let out my mom would find Teedle out of her cage and flying around my room waiting for me to get home. She was a true escape artist.
Nothing evil about this right? Well, if Teedle could find her way out of my room through a cracked door she would fly straight to my dad. He's a old fashioned kind of guy, but she would happily pierce his ears for him. He did not find that amusing. When she wasn't piercing his ears she would land on his head, he thought she was giving a scalp massage but what she was really doing was massaging in her POO. When he clued in, she was no longer allowed out of my room :(
2. Skipper the moustached parakeet.
Skipper came to us from a tiny cage. We did not know much about him but I should have guessed right away there was something wrong. His previous owners did not mention he could talk or mimic noises.
We found out why he was most likely rehomed right away, on the drive home. It was a narrow road, one lane to each side and bordered by steep ditches. Rough in patches and bouncing the car around making it already difficult to stay in our own lane when from the back seat come "BEEP...BEEP...BEEP". I nearly went into the ditch. Yup, turns out he learned to mimic a back up alarm probably from a garbage truck. I wont go into details of how people were staring at the scream BEEP bird (and the bird going various forms of RIBBET) as we were parked at WalMart to grab him a quick bag of food and some toys.
But eventually Skipper was family, my daughter, who is very brave, tamed him to the point we could trust him enough to hold him. Life was good, we had a great bird!
While we spent time with him and tried very hard to teach him to say Skipper de do da, Skipper de ay, the only thing he learned was Skipper do da and Skipper's a pretty boy. He enjoyed coming to my husbands computer desk to a peanut each evening and would squawk if my husband was too slow to get the peanut to him.
So Skip for some reason decides he no longer likes men, this includes the man who gives him peanuts. It started off with kisses which turned into nose piercings, check kisses which drew blood and the obvious ear piercing. Then he starting going for the fingers holding the peanuts and not the peanuts!
Meanwhile my daughter and I can still hold and kiss Skipper. It's just my husband and other men he now hates. And he STILL refuses to say Skipper de do da, Skipper de ay, 2+ years later. My husband no longer lets Skipper near him. Skipper lives in a huge aviary now, out back.
3. Chuck the ringneck pheasant.
I have no idea of chuck's past since he was acquired at a animal auction with 3 hens, but he hated the husband from day 1. I could walk into the enclosure and chuck would ignore me after just looking to make sure it was me. Let my husband go in though..OMG Chuck would go nuts, attacking every part of my husband he could reach! Several times I was pretty sure Chuck would be dinner, the only thing saving him was that he was our only male in a area where pheasants are hard to find. Hubby would come out of there bleeding and bruised and cursing up a storm. It was hilarious to watch since it looked like a dance happening in there with hubby trying to avoid Chuck and Chuck doing a circle looking for his opening.
Sadly Chuck eventually returned to the animal auction with his ladies.
4. PJ, the ringneck parakeet. He has a obsession with my husband's socked feet. PJ has started doing his solo tango (breeding) my husbands feet. Each morning with hubby leaves for work PJ screams his head off like someone just stole his girlfriends, cause obviously there are TWO of them.
5. This is in development. Alpha and Bravo, two sultan roosters. I carry a chicken shield (which my husband laughed at). It's the top off a large storage bin. I'm taking no chances since I've seen them attacking him in tandem.
So far, and I'm not sure if it's the shield or not, Alpha and Bravo have shown no signs of attacking me like they do hubbie. He did de tip their spurs though since they were needle sharp. Now without pointy spurs I might venture into the yard without my chicken shield.
Sort of sounds like my husband should avoid all birds huh?