will I survive raising my 16 year old daughter...

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all three of my girls have to d their own laundry.... iff they don't have anything to wear its their own fault. They don't get paid to clean there room... they do help around the house... My 12 year old is a god send... she helps with all the animals and helps me more thabn the others... sometimes she gets cranky about it but she usually doesn't give problems.... the 18 yr old used to give me problems but not near as much as my 16 yr old...
 
It's hard. You cry your self to sleep at night wondering what tomorrow will bring.We raised 4, to the best we knew how, Our girls,one now 55 and with grandchildren 12 and entering that era, the other is 42 with children already there. Our 2 boys, raised just alike, one is now in the military and has been for 12 years, doing great, the other, 54 is a drug addict. You raise them the best you know how, but when they reach a certain age, it doesn't matter, they will do what they want, they have no idea that they will have to pay for their action, at that age they think they are invincible, or that mom and dad will get them out of it, what ever IT is.Tough love is probably your best answer, but be prepared,tough love is as hard on you as it is on her. and REMEMBER WE'RE ALL STILL HERE TO TRY AND HELP IF NO MORE THAN TO LISTEN
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MARRIE
 
Been their, seen it all, it's getting better but I always keep my eyes and ears open. I feel for you and what you are going through. It's hard and It doesn't get easier. My now 15 yo daughter has put me through the wringer. You name it, she has done it. Finally short of putting her in a group home or something, I decided the best thing to do was to homeschool her. She is a follower unfortunately and was hanging with a couple of bad kids. Well maybe I should say kids that had no guidance themselves, just let loose to do whatever. She has all A's and high B's this year. Honestly it's the best move I ever made, even tho it costs a lot of money. She still occasionally gets caught doing things, but nothing like before. I took the cell phone and put a watch dog type thing on her computer also. You wouldn't believe the trouble they get into on the computer. They just think they are darned invincible. If you need someone to talk to, just pm me. I wish I had had someone to talk to myself. Hope it gets better.
 
On my couch right now is my twenty year old step-daughter asking me for money to pay for a prescription for the treatment of some kind of v.d. It breaks my heart to say no. With no job she'll never pay me back. I paid for the clinic visits till she turned 18 where she was counseled from the time she was 14 about unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and disease prevention. I paid for at least 14 pregnancy tests and 18 rounds of antibiotics. I paid for counselors, therapists, special self esteem building camps. Now I won't.
She is pregnant, has herpes, genital warts, clamidia, and hpv. I'm keeping all the baby things from my soon to be 2 year old because when protective services calls me to pick this kid up somewhere I will need to be ready.
It matters that you make the effort to do the right things with kids, but there will always be kids that choose not to believe that bad things can happen to them.
And before anyone thinks that the med needed is for the health of the baby......it's not. I'ts to clear up the gunk that is preventing her from going out and having sex.
 
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Ouch!! Yup, you have it rough!
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Can she get state health care somewhere? I think with her being pregnant she should be able to get some free health care? Maybe? Good luck!
 
Thanks, redhen. She get's medical help from the state and I take her to her appointments to make sure she get's there. The fact that she is having a baby doesn't scare me, I can deal with a baby easy...feed them, clean them, love them, touch them, talk to them...easy. It is the inability of my s-daughter to make good choices for herself that scares me about what will happen to her and the baby.
I guess that is what it comes down to. I wish she could make good choices for herself. In my blended family of his mine and ours this is so far the only child without the ability to make good choices for herself.
To the OP or anyone with a 16 year old daughter, I would say the goal is to express to a kid going down the wrong path is not that you want to control their behavior, but that you want them to have the ability to make choices that are good for them. With all the other kids (12 in total) it has worked, with this one not so well.
 
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You will make it, though since they dont come with manuals its a less than easy path! But well worth it.
I am still somewhat sane after raising four and on my last (age 16!)
 
I still have one more after this one... she is only 12 ... it was cruel for god to give me three girls... just kidding... i wouldn't trade them for the world
 
I strongly recommend the Love & Logic series to all parents, especially Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. If you Google Love & Logic, you should find their site. Lots of resources.

My oldest was adopted at 2, and we still struggle with him. His diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and Bi Polar Disorder at 11 helped a lot as far as getting resources, but each day seems to bring something. Love & Logic has been a huge help in showing me how to back off and bring a little emotional distance and perspective to life.
 

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