Thank you. I am safe anyway. Saying goodbye to the children did me in. It was when the reality fully hit me. "I am leaving behind Brian!" When I return again, the children will be adjusting to their new routines. Their new lives. I will be ripping off a bandage. Faced again with a house devoid of such a life. A large personality. His presence filled a house, let alone a room.
I cried so much as I hugged them goodbye. I tried not to. Oh, how I tried! But how do you treat it as nothing when a child, still needing a favorite blanket to sleep, loses her daddy? A 13-yr -old yells at his sister, and you are tempted to tell him he is not her father. He is now. No matter how young he is, the reality is that he is the man now.
So I am safe. But I am certainly not sound.