I need to vent and my DH won't listen to me :( SORRY LONG

My two cents (hope it's worth that much)...

I think Oma is trying to help take care of family, but maybe doesn't have the best people skills.

I think SarahF's baby will be blessed to have so many generations in the area to grow up around. Too many people these days don't have strong family ties, and I think that's a shame.

SarahF, when you feel you're losing your cool, try and count your blessings. You are healthy, expecting a child, in a good marriage, living in a safe place, with years of life & love ahead of you.

Ask Oma about the mum, and giggle at the end of the question when you mention the one mum looks lonely.

Ask Oma's opinion on slaughtering the hens, instead of nursing them through the winter.

My anecdote:
I had a really mean, crotchety Grandpa who regularly made me cry as a child. Mom told me if I'd give him a hug or a kiss he'd leave me alone. I didn't believe her. Then one day, as I was being crushed against a door jamb, I could see no other way out. I kissed that mean old man on the cheek. He leaped away as if I'd slapped him, and sputtered all the way out of the house. And he never picked on me again, although he'd threaten me from time to time, it was with a twinkle in his eyes. It was like I'd passed a test. I miss that mean old man!

My inlaws purchased our home for us many many years ago (we did make payments to them!) My mother-in-law would come over while we were gone and roam through the house and "fix" things whenever she chose. One day I changed the locks. She never said a word about not being able to get in. Then I had her first grandchild and she came over every day....all day.... I started making a list of things for he to do since she wanted to "help". I kept her so busy doing the things I wanted done she had no time to snoop or criticize what I was doing. She still comes over to "help" but she only goes into the kitchen, t.v. room and the main bathroom. She knows to stay out of my office, bedroom and master bath. She can go anywhere else and clean all she wants!

Next time, thank her for caring enough to share her advice with you, but explain to her that everyone is different and so not everyone does things the same way. Explain that you are not saying she is wrong but its just not the way you want to do things, and add that if everyone were the same this would be a very dull place to live in.