As I read through a lot of these posts several things came to mind but going back to the original poster and answering his question ... It's too hard to tell what you're wife should or shouldn't be doing differently. The whole arrangement of 2 hours or 6 hours or day or night and handing the baby off to someone else etc ... makes no sense to me. This is a child. This is your child ... not a dog or a chicken or a new car or a trip to Spain. This child, above all else, will be with you forever from the day of his birth onward. He will be part of you forever. It seems the first thing you both need to face is that YOUR life will NEVER be the same again. You can't go back to NO BABY days. It doesn't work that way. The sooner you realize that you will not get a good nights sleep for the next (at least) 18 years of your life, the better off you will be. Also figure out that there are NO correct answers to be found on the internet or from anyone outside your home or in any book. You have begun one of the most beautiful things that will ever happen to you in your entire life - a RELATIONSHIP with your son. Whether that relationship is good or bad is defined by every day from now on.
I have two children of my own. They are 19 and 15. My son is now off to college and I can tell you that from the time he was born I have told myself different things ... like "when he sleeps through the night, I'll get to rest again", "when he can walk, I won't have to carry him everywhere", "when he's in school all day, I can go back to work", "when he can drive, I won't have to cart him around all the time", etc etc etc. And I can guarantee you that not a single one of those things happened the way I thought it would. Life has a way of throwing curve balls. I don't see how you can say "your wife will do all the caring for our child and you will go to work" and put expectations of how long qualifies for those things to be correct.
Your wife will be a full time mother for the rest of her life as you will be a full time father for the rest of yours. It's not a job you ever get to retire from. Sorry.
If you want your circumstances to change, the first step is for you to get a job. The second is to move in to your own home. The third is to raise your child. At some point in the future, if it's still important, you and your wife can sit down in the rocking chairs on the front porch and decided together whether you have "done your job" well or not. If your relationship grows and blooms and is full of love and respect, that question won't matter ever no matter what your child does or becomes or where they end up.
Just my two cents ...
I have two children of my own. They are 19 and 15. My son is now off to college and I can tell you that from the time he was born I have told myself different things ... like "when he sleeps through the night, I'll get to rest again", "when he can walk, I won't have to carry him everywhere", "when he's in school all day, I can go back to work", "when he can drive, I won't have to cart him around all the time", etc etc etc. And I can guarantee you that not a single one of those things happened the way I thought it would. Life has a way of throwing curve balls. I don't see how you can say "your wife will do all the caring for our child and you will go to work" and put expectations of how long qualifies for those things to be correct.
Your wife will be a full time mother for the rest of her life as you will be a full time father for the rest of yours. It's not a job you ever get to retire from. Sorry.
If you want your circumstances to change, the first step is for you to get a job. The second is to move in to your own home. The third is to raise your child. At some point in the future, if it's still important, you and your wife can sit down in the rocking chairs on the front porch and decided together whether you have "done your job" well or not. If your relationship grows and blooms and is full of love and respect, that question won't matter ever no matter what your child does or becomes or where they end up.
Just my two cents ...
