Mothers Day without Mom

My Mom will have passed away 2 yrs ago on June 11th and I miss her terribly. Last year I just ignored Mother's Day and tried to stay busy, and stayed away from anything and anywhere that celebrated Mother's Day. I guess that was my way of coping. As time has gone by, I find myself not thinking of her quite as often and sometimes I am scared that as time goes by, I may start to forget some of the things we did or things she said.

My husband's mother is still living and we were planning on going there tomorrow, but I really don't want to. I know this may sound selfish, but I just want to spend most of the day alone and bring back all those precious memories with my Mom. I want to keep them fresh in my mind. I also want to spend time with my children, who are grown. If I go to see my husband's Mom, I won't be able to see my children.

I really don't think it will bother MIL if I don't go. I do love her, but I really do not feel like visiting with his family tomorrow. They are quite boisterous at times and I am definitely not in a festive mood. Maybe my mood will change by tomorrow. Am I wrong no wanting to go and does anybody else feel like I do. I am really missing my Mom and I know that I can talk to people here that will understand. Thanks for listening and I do wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Please cherish every moment and tell your Mom you love her everyday.

Wow, I know just how you feel. I miss my mum terribly too. I don't dwell on it on Mothers Day - I really think about her every single day and keep her "close" in my heart. I don't think I would feel I was taking anything away from those memories or feelings by celebrating the day with my Hubby's mom. Your mom in Heaven - you can talk to everyday in your thoughts and prayers - she is not going by our annual calendar anymore - she is with you always.

Suggestion: Do not begrudge attention/affection from your Mother-in-Law on Mothers Day - she too probably does not have many Mother's Days left and it is important to tell people that you love them (even if not as deep a love as you have for your own mom...). If you have a good relationship with her, then the memories that you build with your husband's family with strengthen the family ties - for you and your children...do it for the "collective" good. Don't be a broody chicken!!

No, my name is not Abbey (as in Dear Abbey....)

I really don't feel as though I am taking away anything from my Mom if I spend the day with my Mother-In-Law. I do love her, but I am not close to her and would rather spend the time mostly by myself and with my son and daughter. I do think of my Mom everyday, but this upcoming Mother's Day has really been hard. I rarely have any time by myself and feel I need this time.

Have a good day with your kids - sometimes we need to just "hunker down" and reflect. Take care of yourself and try to get centered and focused on what really matters to you. I'm so sorry that this is a difficult day for you. In the circle of life, you are the mom now - so try to enjoy the day as "your" day!

Happy Mothers Day!

My mom (an sister) has been gone for 25 years now. I have spent the day with my grandmother. I dont see my step mom on mothers day an it has never crossed my mind to. Any other day I would. If I was married I don't think I would see her mom an different.


Even after 25 years I cant go to the grave yard without having someone with me to drive me home so I don't go much...

That is very sad. It always hard to lose a loved one but a mum is very special. I'm sure you feel that she is never-the-less close to you in all you do.

No you are not wrong at all. Some days are just sad days when we have lost someone but having your own children around helps you deal with loss and grief. Besides, as you are a mum it is your mother's day too. I'm sure you MIL would agree with me.