Am I being.... what's the word, hmmm - rude?

[ourlittleflock]

here's my story

My brother is getting married Friday Nov 11, @ 1:00 to a wonderful girl.. This is both their second marriage. Very small affair. BUT I am not taking my 2 boys and leaving them in school.

A little background - my boys are both in a private christian school - My oldest a 3rd grader has several test on Fridays and on top of that Fridays are the time to complete any unfinished week worth of work that needs to be done.. He always needs this time.. I am afraid if i take him out that it is only going to make him farther behind the following week.. You may ask are they out when they are sick.. They are allowed to stay out if they are truly sick, I try to send them when it is just a sore throat so they know they have to continue on. IF they are out - I get the daily work and we get it done the day they are out of school and it is usually a good dozen pages to do or read. My other son is in preschool at the same school - so if I am not taking one, I can't take the other. My Family is a loving family but I may go sometimes 2 weeks without speaking to my mother/father on the phone.. I speak to my brother occassionally. We leave about 15 minutes apart so it is not really a distance thing.. We just don't have to speak or see each other daily - They know I love them and they love me.. We do get together on some Sundays to have dinner and always have Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner together.

My boys have never asked about where my brothers first wife went.. They saw her only around christmas and occasionally on weekends and it would be very spread out between visits.. The boys do mention his new wife-to-be a little more because her son also goes to the same school.. The boys don't get out until 3:00 so the wedding will be over with by that time...

My mother thinks the boys should be there - but I also consider her "up my brothers hind end too" if I should put it like that - My brother was the trouble maker always getting into trouble (meaning served a few days in jail type of trouble) Since he has been "clean" she has followed his daily activities. He is the one that had been thru divorce (She would spend every weekend at his house even though he was surrounded by GREAT friends) and now getting remarried - His wife to be is letting her plan pretty much everything.. So that is just icing on the cake..

I am looking at it like I am doing what is best for my boys.. the wedding doesn't means anything to them but it means everything to my mother....

 

[aoxa]

I don't think you are being rude.. My mom would be the same way too. I wouldn't take my kids out of school... Wouldn't want to ruin a wedding if they were cranky either. Kids hate weddings.. Unless they were asked to be IN the wedding, I would just explain to your brother why you are leaving them in school. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

 

[serendipity22]

Rude, not rude....

I doubt the couple will care if your boys are there or not. Take a gift, give them a hug and leave it at that. If they ask about them, say the boys couldn't make it.

Poof, conversation over.

Enjoy the ceremony!

 

[stoopid]

I would do exactly the same thing. And I feel that is right.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Honestly? Just having been done with my own wedding, unless they are part of the wedding ceremony, leave them at school. I was too enamored with everything else to even notice children who were there, not there...

 

[Elite Silkies]

I don't think it's necessary for the boys to be there. They are young and probably would not enjoy it anyway. School isn't like it use to be. They do a lot of work during school hours and still have to bring home more work. It is very stressful on the children trying to make up work.

 

[Spookwriter]

Yes, I would leave the children in school. That's the right thing
to do.

 

[ourlittleflock]

thanks for the input - I appreciate it very much!

I do have them a wedding gift and wish them the very best!!!

 

[jbourget]

Education for your boys is more important then your brothers second wedding , LOL tell momma dukes to video tape if for them

 

[ChickenScratchin]

I am in a similar situation, but with some key differences.

My brother is getting married 11/11, but it is the first marriage for both (he's 40 though). My brother doesn't get to see my son often, as he lives outside the U.S., but they are fairly close (it's his only nephew/niece, and he's my son's only uncle). The differences are: they are getting married in New Orleans and we live in CO, so it's a lot of travel (we have to drive). My son is the ring bearer, so he's IN the wedding.

So, I pretty much HAVE to take him out of school for it. I am very disappointed that he'll miss 3 days of school for it, and very concerned about the work getting done, etc. Our school dist. is VERY strict on attendance and it will cause an issue. But it's pretty much unavoidable.

All that said, if my situation was like yours, I probably wouldn't pull him out of school for it, simply based on what your mom wants. But, to be on the safe side, I would actually ask your brother what he really wants and what is important to him. He may say it's not that big of a deal and it's fine with him if the kids aren't there. Or, he may say that it's really important to him for them to be there if at all possible. Whatever the case, I would probably follow his wishes.