Thanks for the lengthy reply to explain the situation more; I think you are definitely on the right track.
Let's put this into perspective: let's say I give you a dozen eggs and a nice welcome to the neighborhood. Are you then going to tolerate my dog howling outside 3 days a week because I was friendly and gave you $3 worth of eggs? More likely, the neighbor put up with it until it was too much to bear. And here we are. Not everyone is a "sucker" (as you put it) for animals, particularly when they are annoying or disturbing the peace to which people are entitled. They also paid for their homes and agreed to the same clauses. I think you are doing the right thing by rehoming Shelby as she sounds to be more responsibility than you're able to manage at this point. And also, a good idea to just sell that house and find a more suitable location for your goals; maybe even getting Shelby back?
In terms of animals being needy: that's really more of our own doing than anything. It stems from our own "need" to smother the animal with attention and "love" (for whatever reason) -- and the animal will "eat it up". We create a "monster" (so to speak) by projecting our own needs onto the animal and then feeling like the animal is too needy when we can't be there for it 24/7.
Regarding your cat, it's a great idea to keep it indoors. As you stated, people tend to overreact, but another thing is that "special" cats, such as yours, are a prime target for theft. A person who is terrified of it will also not have the gumption to check if it has been declawed or if it is even a pet. In fact, one guy shaved his labra-doodle dog to look like a lion, and it caused such an uproar (ha, pun intended!) that people were all over 911 phone lines about it and it made national news.
Still, I don't think it's fair -- and, indeed, somewhat of a red herring -- to say that post-9/11 sentiments are behind the oversensitive, brash judgments people make. After all, people were making those same judgments since the dawn of time, way before anyone ever heard of 9/11. I certainly agree that we are less safe and less free than before the Patriot Act went into effect, but again, this is a red herring in relation to the topic at hand -- these losses of freedoms have nothing to do with our optionally living in an subdivision with an HOA and having to abide by the rules to which we have contractually obligated ourselves. The Patriot Act was forced upon us; living in a subdivision was not.
In terms of HOAs maintaining property values -- there's no question about that. In neighborhoods without an association, there is almost always a few really ramshackle, dilapidated homes... overgrown yards, animals amok, cars on blocks, etc. and all that directly effects not only the resale dollar value, but it hinders the actual ability to sell it at all. HOAs do indeed serve to prevent this.
All in all, I'm exceptionally glad to hear that you view the situation as a "lesson learned" and are doing more due diligence with the next property. I found myself in a similar position. It took me almost a year to find the new property, but I'm here now. You have every right to be irked with the HOA -- HOAs are indeed political, chummy, crony operations just looking for ways to enrich their coffers. In fact, I had a problem with the neighbors dog crapping in my yard. I put up with it for 2 years, just cleaning it up. But eventually, I went to the neighbors to talk about it and they said put up a fence around my yard (which is against the HOA regs, I'll add) so I eventually went to the HOA about it. I figured a "dog at large" and "crapping in people's yards" would be a shoe-in to get something done. They told me to leave some "presents" in my yard rather than clean them up so they could drop by a day later and view the problem. And they did come take a look. And then they sent me a fine for having dog crap in my yard! Even though I don't even have a dog...and even though they told me to leave it there! Needless to say, I refused the fine and threatened to take it public. It didn't take long to get that dog handled after that. But boy, am I still glad to be out of the city limits and living in an Exclusive Farm Use (EFU) zone where, if a rogue dog shows up on my property, I have given legal rights to take care of the problem myself.
Cheers!
