Chronically Late people

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I know that some people have brain injuries and wide variety of physical ailments, I understand that, but I am struggling to understand people who are simply chronically late.

To me it is SO rude and disrespectful that I cannot wrap my brain around it as anything other than brain injury.

I have two chronically late people in my life and one has badly damaged most of her relationships, cost herself jobs, and immeasurably hurt the people who wasted time waiting for her. She says she has no sense of time passing. 5 minutes and 50 minutes feels exactly the same to her. If that is true, then she should be tested to see if there is a problem, but she refuses. If it is true, even without any confirmation of physical issues, then you need to accommodate that! Like the tricks and tips the people have on the forgetfulness thread. If you cannot tell time is passing, watches and cell phone alarms are your friend.

She was 2-1/2 hours late last night upending my family's entire night's plans. Beyond rude......

 

[redhen]

Last time i'd make plans with her...
Easy peasy...

 

[Dingleberry]

I would think that the ZJob costs would help in her better her timing. Buy her a lot of alarm clocks, she ay get the hint. Or talk to her.. I can understand a little late but over 2 hrs!!! what a pain. Just stop thinking she will be there at all.

 

[Chickengal505]

I'm late for everything

but only by a few min. never like hours..

 

[Laurajean]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

one has badly damaged most of her relationships, cost herself jobs, and immeasurably hurt the people who wasted time waiting for her. She says she has no sense of time passing. 5 minutes and 50 minutes feels exactly the same to her.

Wow. You should bring her to the Dr. Phil show, seriously!

Chronically late people really bother me too. I had a friend who was giving me rides to Dr. appts when my vehicle was being fixed. Don't get me wrong: I really did appreciate his rides and of course gave him gas money and bought him lunch each time. But I quickly discovered he was ALWAYS late, REALLY late! I would outright miss appts by the time I arrived. I actually had to lie to him, telling him my appointments were one or two HOURS before they really were, just to factor in that he would be so late. P'd me off!​

 

[Camelot Farms]

My husbands step mother is like that. Its really quite easy to deal with. We just start without her, leave without her etc.
If something is scheduled to begin at 5. Thats when it begins.
If we are scheduled to gather somewhere and go somewhere together at a certain time, we do. No exceptions.

She misses out on alot...but we dont any more.

 

[dkvart1]

As someone who is chronically early (I hate to make people wait just as I hate to be kept waiting), I can't understand chronic lateness at all. I suppose it's possible there are people who have no concept of time passing, but they certainly must be aware it does and to me any reasonable person would use cues or tools to aid in getting where they need to be on time, as you said. For the majority I just think they suffer from what so many folks these days seem to suffer from, I call it "center of the universe syndrome". Those folks so self absorbed and shallow that there is little if any thought about how thier actions affect others. I know a couple like that and I keep waiting for a spark of enlightment to hit them, but it seems I'll be waiting a heck of a long time for that to happen!

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
It's the same with me, but I do have a brain injury, and really bad ADD to boot. But still there isn't much of any excuse for being hours late. I understand minutes way to well, and there are times that I just don't have any sense that time is passing as fast as it does. Still I am trying my best to be on time, and sometimes I actually have been on time.

I wonder why if you are hours late, as to why would you ever bother showing up at all?

At that point all I would do is call and apologize.

I would I either tell the friend to come at least 2 hours earlier than I would need to be there, or just stop making plans with her anymore.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Yeah, my friend was HOURS late, every time. He'd call to say he was leaving, then a half an hour or more would pass and he'd call again to ask if I need anything on his way or whatever, and I'd see by the caller ID he was still home. I'd say, "You haven't left yet? I thought you were leaving 40 minutes ago?" And he'd say "Oh, I'm about to leave now, just have to warm up the truck". I'd be thinking, how is the truck not already warmed up, he said he was leaving 40 minutes ago!! He lives about 45 minutes away, and 2 or more hours would easily pass. He seemed clueless upon arrival, casually walking in, taking his time. I'd be standing there with my coat on and my purse in hand, really stressed that he was so late. He didn't seem to sense the urgency AT ALL. I've asked him many times what the heck he was doing, and never got a clear answer. It's like he got caught in the Bermuda Triangle on the way or something.

Thank god I only needed rides from him temporarily, and thank god there was never an actual emergency, can you imagine?

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

This is exactly what she's like. ANd we don't ever arrange to meet her places and never ever count on her for a ride! Whew! But even setting it so she is just coming to my house is disruptive.



She's my sister

Can't completely cut her off.