Here is a little background: My fiance and I live with my Mother and younger sister who is 12 years old simply because of the economy - my mom would have a hard time, and I KNOW for a fact we probably would not be able to make it right now on our own.
But that's not the point of this post.. This is about my younger sister. She is making the entire household MISERABLE. She acts AWFUL. Worse than I did at her age (and believe me.. I was awful), she throws fits in the stores, hits mom, etc. When dinner is done, my sister sits on the couch and waits for mom to bring it to her. If my sister "needs" my Mom for something instead of going to her, she sits there and yells for her. My mom is still getting my sister's clothes for her each morning for school. Every night they argue about her getting a shower and doing her homework.
I keep telling my mom that she needs to put her foot down.. Stop enabling her.. You would think she had of learned with me.. I do not want my sister to end up like I did; I was pregnant at 13, into self mutilation and all about hated the world. I guess I don't understand why she acts this way, she has always had it good - better than me. She never dealt with rape, abandonment, etc like I did.
The way she acts and makes us feel, makes me EXTREMELY sorry that I treated my mom and family the way I did at her age.
So last night, I was asked to give her money so she could go to the bookfair since my Mom didn't have any extra to give her. I said I would. But then she started throwing a fit. It was 8:30ish. My Mom had been argueing with her for 45ish minutes prior over her homework. Her bedtime is at 9:30.
I went in and said "If you are not finished your homework, found your own PJs, taken a shower and in bed by 9:30 I am not giving you any money." She then started questioning me (mom always goes back on "punishments. I will not.).. "Well what if I'm on my way to bed, WALKING there?" "No. I said in bed." "What if I am brushing my hair, or getting a drink?" "You know what I said. I wont repeat it. In bed by 9:30 or no money for the book fair." I then dropped it, went back to my sewing machine. I figure she knows what I said, she's old enough to understand.
.. She still continued to argue with my mom.. She got upset, cried, wanted mom to do her homework, etc. I made sure mom didn't or else that was an automatic no for me giving her money. I did offer my help with homework - to help her work the problems out - but i was NOT giving her the answers. She even went as far as to hit and kick mom, try and "poke" her with a pencil.
On her last problem she kept asking "Mom, can you draw the lines for this problem? I already know the answer!" "Well, if you know the answer YOU go ahead and do it. You're running out of time."
When she finished her homework she "had" to find her cell phone before her shower - she hid it behind a box so that Mom would have to come help her. I "found" it before they did, and removed the SIM chip so she cannot use the phone. I still have it today and I will not be giving it back until this changes.
Needless to say she was in bed an HOUR late. She went to school WITHOUT my money and WITHOUT her SIM chip for her phone.
Did I do the right thing? I feel kind of.. guilty. But at the same time I wish my Mom had of been like this with me, it would of saved me a LOT of heartache.
But that's not the point of this post.. This is about my younger sister. She is making the entire household MISERABLE. She acts AWFUL. Worse than I did at her age (and believe me.. I was awful), she throws fits in the stores, hits mom, etc. When dinner is done, my sister sits on the couch and waits for mom to bring it to her. If my sister "needs" my Mom for something instead of going to her, she sits there and yells for her. My mom is still getting my sister's clothes for her each morning for school. Every night they argue about her getting a shower and doing her homework.
I keep telling my mom that she needs to put her foot down.. Stop enabling her.. You would think she had of learned with me.. I do not want my sister to end up like I did; I was pregnant at 13, into self mutilation and all about hated the world. I guess I don't understand why she acts this way, she has always had it good - better than me. She never dealt with rape, abandonment, etc like I did.
The way she acts and makes us feel, makes me EXTREMELY sorry that I treated my mom and family the way I did at her age.
So last night, I was asked to give her money so she could go to the bookfair since my Mom didn't have any extra to give her. I said I would. But then she started throwing a fit. It was 8:30ish. My Mom had been argueing with her for 45ish minutes prior over her homework. Her bedtime is at 9:30.
I went in and said "If you are not finished your homework, found your own PJs, taken a shower and in bed by 9:30 I am not giving you any money." She then started questioning me (mom always goes back on "punishments. I will not.).. "Well what if I'm on my way to bed, WALKING there?" "No. I said in bed." "What if I am brushing my hair, or getting a drink?" "You know what I said. I wont repeat it. In bed by 9:30 or no money for the book fair." I then dropped it, went back to my sewing machine. I figure she knows what I said, she's old enough to understand.
.. She still continued to argue with my mom.. She got upset, cried, wanted mom to do her homework, etc. I made sure mom didn't or else that was an automatic no for me giving her money. I did offer my help with homework - to help her work the problems out - but i was NOT giving her the answers. She even went as far as to hit and kick mom, try and "poke" her with a pencil.
On her last problem she kept asking "Mom, can you draw the lines for this problem? I already know the answer!" "Well, if you know the answer YOU go ahead and do it. You're running out of time."
When she finished her homework she "had" to find her cell phone before her shower - she hid it behind a box so that Mom would have to come help her. I "found" it before they did, and removed the SIM chip so she cannot use the phone. I still have it today and I will not be giving it back until this changes.
Needless to say she was in bed an HOUR late. She went to school WITHOUT my money and WITHOUT her SIM chip for her phone.
Did I do the right thing? I feel kind of.. guilty. But at the same time I wish my Mom had of been like this with me, it would of saved me a LOT of heartache.