Dog turned predator - how do I convince my husband to get rid of it?

[6of6chicks]

I think the OP is right in choosing her relationship with her husband over the dog. She is working on it. She's not just standing by letting it happen. Sometimes, though, you've gotta finesse your way instead of bullying and demanding. Now let her be, and let her deal with it in her way. I agree that the dog is living in sad conditions and needs a new home. You are not helping this problem.

Neither is coddling someone who condones animal abuse.

 

[bobbi-j]

You are correct. Which is why I'm not coddling. She does not condone it, which is why she asked for help in the first place to figure out how to get him to give up the dog. I am done here.

 

[SavageDestiny]

I think the OP is right in choosing her relationship with her husband over the dog. She is working on it. She's not just standing by letting it happen. Sometimes, though, you've gotta finesse your way instead of bullying and demanding. Now let her be, and let her deal with it in her way. I agree that the dog is living in sad conditions and needs a new home. You are not helping this problem.

The problem is really not the current dog. Everyone has agreed that the current dog needs to be rehomed and it sounds like she will be.

The problem is that the OP is going, "And I know my husband will just get another dog at some point, nothing I can do!" Instead of putting her foot down, and refusing to allow another dog to be brought home, she is preemptively accepting that there WILL be another dog subjected to the same abusive and neglectful situation. Disgusting.

 

[6of6chicks]

I won't be back to this thread either. It's simply too upsetting.

All my prayers and best wishes go to the OP's dog. May it find it's way to a happy, loving home.

 

[roosterhavoc]

The dog could have been trained to leave the chickens alone in the amount of time that was spent responding on this thread by the OP. My unsolicited advice would be to get rid of all animals and start a journal. Laziness and animals don't go well together.
To everyone that said they won't be back on this thread, you can't look away from a train wreck.

 

[katbriar]

All I can think of to say is, "you poor thing". It sounds like you are trying to do your best in a chatotic situation and there is so much of it you cannot control.

You've come here and explained things very rationally and responded in kindness and with understanding even as people have been mean to you. I'm so sorry.

I think you're trying to figure out what to say to your husband that will make a difference and I think you are right to do so. I wish we knew what that was. Probably no one wishes that more than you.

I'm sorry some people haven't offered you a better sounding board.

I think you come across as a patient, thoughtful, and intelligent person. And I wish I could fix this for you.

 

[nan4848]

All I can think of to say is, "you poor thing". It sounds like you are trying to do your best in a chatotic situation and there is so much of it you cannot control.

You've come here and explained things very rationally and responded in kindness and with understanding even as people have been mean to you. I'm so sorry.

I think you're trying to figure out what to say to your husband that will make a difference and I think you are right to do so. I wish we knew what that was. Probably no one wishes that more than you.

I'm sorry some people haven't offered you a better sounding board.

I think you come across as a patient, thoughtful, and intelligent person. And I wish I could fix this for you.

I hope this is sarcasm?

 

[SMonroe1990]

I think the best thing you can do Flock Leader is woman up and tell your husband that she needs to be re homed. I had a previous dog that was wonderful for about a month or two and then she started randomly attacking my smaller dog. I tried working with her, giving her plenty of exercise every day, playing with her, everything I could think of. Then one night my DH and I went to a concert. We got back to the car and I had missed phone calls and text messages from my mother. The dog went after my daughter. The next day she went back to the lady that we got her from. My daughter ended up with two stitches in her chin and I was thankful, and she was lucky, that my mom and brother's girlfriend where in the room when it happened. The dog we had showed no previous signs before attacking my daughter. I think the problem with her is she was in bred and there just was something off. Needless to say I don't feel like I should never have another dog or that I wouldn't even give that breed of dog another try, I would just go through a reputable breeder.

Now if you knew that the breed of dog your husband got had a high prey drive, maybe you researched the breed after he brought it home, maybe you didn't, you should have taken some sort of precaution to keep your chickens safe. You can buy runs and all types of different fencing to keep them contained during the day. I know that's not ideal but you have to do what you have to do. If the dog had attacked chickens before killing the one, which to me it sounded like maybe it had, you should have taken the initiative then and there to provide some sort of safe haven for the chickens during the day. Chickens roam. They do not always know to stay away from the predators and dogs are quick. You could have bought a dog run to put them in during the day and then they could have gone into the coop at night. If your husband had a problem with you spending the money, well he should have taken the time to build you some form of enclosure.

My family currently has a Siberian Husky who is 12 years old. I had every plan that I was going to free range my chickens and then after watching him one day when he got outside while they were out I quickly shot that idea out the window. Instead I had DH build them a bigger run than was originally planned. I thought maybe I could work with the husky and get him to be okay around the chickens. After a couple of days I realized it would just be safer to keep them in a enclosed run. I wouldn't have to risk him ever getting the urge to go after one of them when I wasn't looking. I love this dog to death and even if he got a hold of a chicken I would be upset but I would never consider just blaming him. He has been known to fight raccoons and possums that get into the yard. Him getting along with chickens is probably doable, but it saves a lot of stress just keeping them penned up and not having to worry about an accidental slip up.

I know it's been said, but dogs are very perceptive animals. If this dog ever got the feeling before that you disliked it, it could be attacking the chickens because it knows that. And if you are really not a dog person you need to sit down and have a conversation with your husband about dogs and how you feel about them. If you don't want part in training a dog your husband needs to know. If he's at work and you are not enforcing any training with the dog it's never going to work out. When training a dog to do something or not do something everyone needs to take part, especially if one person works. It can't be half assed. I really don't know what to tell you if he doesn't take anything you say or feel into consideration. To me it doesn't sound like a very healthy marriage. I know I really want a snake, my husband hates snakes, do I get a snake? No I don't out of respect for him.

If you are not a dog person, don't let your husband bring home another dog ever. Put your foot down. I'm not saying you can't tolerate and live with a dog, but any dog can have a slip up when it comes to thinking of something as prey, especially if the dog does not get proper training. Another dog does not need to be subjected to being chained up its whole life and potentially getting rocks thrown at it.

I hope for your sake, and the dogs, that you can find her a new home. But just because you had trouble with this one doesn't mean the whole breed is like that. Dog's like them need proper training and someone who is willing to take time to train them. It doesn't happen over night, it is tiring, and you have to be consistent. If you and your husband can't be those things than you need to find something else to fulfill your husbands need of bringing surprise animals home.

 

[Flock Leader]

Frankly I'm starting to think all your excuses about not standing up to your husband is because deep down you WANT a punching bag.

Yeah. I really want that dog around. I do. That's why I started this thread.

I mean.... ?!

"Standing up" will get me nowhere. Not with my husband. What would I do, threaten divorce? Me or the dog? I won't do that. My best and only chance is to influence my husband peacefully.

And, by the way, me losing it with the dog the way I described only happened once and I was deeply sorry for it, both because of the dog and because my daughters saw me lose control. It scared them. It scared me, too. I wish I could convey in words what I felt at the moment - neglected, trapped, hopeless, having one of the best things in my life (my chickens) taken from me in a cruel and senseless manner. I was absolutely demented. It was not a rational response and, as one of the commenters so aptly said, "it was not a good place to be in my head at that moment."

The problem is that the OP is going, "And I know my husband will just get another dog at some point, nothing I can do!" Instead of putting her foot down, and refusing to allow another dog to be brought home, she is preemptively accepting that there WILL be another dog subjected to the same abusive and neglectful situation. Disgusting.

No. I never said I KNOW my husband will get another dog at some point (show me where I said that?). I hope he won't. However, I know that if there is one thing I can do to make sure he WILL get another dog, it's to say, "You are NOT getting another dog!". This is the man I have and this is what I must work with. If, however, I say, "think of all the trouble it will take, etc, and IF you do let's make sure dog answers conditions a, b and c", that will REDUCE the chances of him deciding to get another dog, and if he still gets one, I will get more say in what kind of dog it will be. Do remember that we did have a dog before and all was fine.

The dog could have been trained to leave the chickens alone in the amount of time that was spent responding on this thread by the OP.

The dog could have been trained to leave the chickens alone in the amount of time that is spent by my husband playing video games (and he's not a big video gamer).

But by him. Not by me. I'm not up to training this dog. There were times when it knocked me down to the ground recently and I feared I might miscarry. I'm not taking any risks.

All I can think of to say is, "you poor thing". It sounds like you are trying to do your best in a chatotic situation and there is so much of it you cannot control.

You've come here and explained things very rationally and responded in kindness and with understanding even as people have been mean to you. I'm so sorry.

I think you're trying to figure out what to say to your husband that will make a difference and I think you are right to do so. I wish we knew what that was. Probably no one wishes that more than you.

I'm sorry some people haven't offered you a better sounding board.

I think you come across as a patient, thoughtful, and intelligent person. And I wish I could fix this for you.

Thanks for the support!

I think the best thing you can do Flock Leader is woman up and tell your husband that she needs to be re homed.

You know, for one delusional moment there I thought you were talking about ME needing to be re-homed.

Which I honestly sometimes feel like doing with this dog around.

Thank you for taking the time to write your comment. I see your point. Yes, I could have taken more initiative in training the dog while she was younger, my problem was that I was too resentful because I was landed with a dog I never wanted in the first place. Also, every time the dog gave us trouble I was hopeful that, well, THIS time my husband is bound to listen to me and let her go.

And finally... to sum things up...

I got a lot of bad vibes sent my way because of this thread, but that doesn't matter. I did, after all, get some valuable advice, which was why I posted here in the first place. So this is what I'm going to do:

1) Try with all my might to convince my husband to re-home this dog. I have a month to do that.

2) Hope with all my might my husband won't insist on getting another dog in the future, and if he suggests the idea, do all I can to talk him out of it.

3) If he digs his heels in (and remember this is hypothetical for the time being), and/or in the remote scenario we realistically need a dog for protection, I will act upon the advice given here by one of the commenters: inform him that our best choice would be an adult LGD which had received training and had been around children and chickens.

Thanks to all who provided constructive suggestions. Thanks to all who offered support and encouragement. You guys are awesome and, after reading what you wrote, I feel more confident and armed with information that hopefully will help me navigate dog situations now and in the future.

I am leaving this thread for now, but not closing it. After we've settled down with the move I intend to write about how things worked out. Don't be surprised if my next thread begins with, "this is our first morning in the new house and I just woke up and looked out of the window, and there are some alpacas grazing in the yard. I have no idea how they got here..."

Until next time!

 

[steny03]

MANY people who have replied to this thread should be ashamed of themselves. The OP is in a bind and came here for advice. What did she get? Attacked and told she's the problem and told how horrible she is.

Guess what? Not every dog is good and suitable for everyone. It's a DOG. Not a human. Wanting to find it a better situation is NOT the same as giving up a child.

Admitting that the pet is not working out is a lot more honorable, honest, and respectable than some of the 'advice' she's been given here.

The dog is lucky that it isn't mine. I would not stand a chicken killer and would have done the SSS.