Giving up a child?

[oesdog]

 

[Carols Clucks]

Oesdog Major hugs to you!!!

I have read the posts in the past about your sons. I think your deciding to transferring their care to this facility is the best thing for you, your family and your sons. I think it would be a good thing if both boys could go together and start this new adventure in their lives. It might help them both to feel like they have each other.

I know it will be hard for you and there will be many days that you will think you have done the wrong thing. But they will need care all their lives and if you can be there for them at this point, you can help them transition in to their adulthoods. Your health and your husbands have been greatly affected by the stress/work of caring for them and I truly think that the best thing that can happen is you can learn to enjoy them as adult children in a new way with out the actual work of their daily physical care.

more hugs!

 

[oesdog]

 

[un-named]

Sweetie, you are NOT giving him up or giving up on him. You are freeing him to a safe life with people who understand his needs and will not hurt him emotionally. they will take what skills he has and build on them and he will grow with trained staff around to support him. most facilities like this allow you to visit whenever you want and you can take him home with you for outings and overnight visits... at least that is the way it is here in the USA. He can have the best of both worlds... his family and a safe place to live out his life.

 

[sourland]

Sweetie, you are NOT giving him up or giving up on him. You are freeing him to a safe life with people who understand his needs and will not hurt him emotionally. they will take what skills he has and build on them and he will grow with trained staff around to support him. most facilities like this allow you to visit whenever you want and you can take him home with you for outings and overnight visits... at least that is the way it is here in the USA. He can have the best of both worlds... his family and a safe place to live out his life.

All of the above plus you are providing for his future when you are no longer here to take care of him It is a wise and good thing that you are considering.

 

[sfw2]

Lots of great, supportive comments already. I second them all!

This sounds like a great opportunity for your son, as well as for you and your husband.

 

[mulewagon]

Of course you aren't just trying to "get rid of him". You are very wisely and prudently trying to find a roof for his head, while you're still alive. I just wish you had better prospects...

The trouble is nobody wants to admit that people like Danny exist. They'll acknowledge folks with Down Syndrome or neat savant talents, but don't want to know about the low-functioning, violent, incontinent folks. But they're real and they aren't going to just evaporate from being ignored

 

[sezjasper]

I have just finished reading this thread and I stand in awe of you, Oes, and all you have accomplished. To learn at the end that you have not one but two disabled sons...truly I wonder where you have found so much strength and courage. Your sons' disabilities perhaps can't be "fixed," but you and your husband, through your love and sacrifices, have given your sons' lives value and meaning--which is a gift that many non-disabled children never receive. You have worked tirelessly to find the right place for your son to live, where he will be comfortable and safe and well taken care of. Now, you and your husband will have a chance to rest and take care of yourselves, and the time you will spend with your son will be the better for it. So in this respect, yes, it will "work out" for you and for your son because you--with renewed strength and courage--will make sure of it. God bless you all.

 

[serama rooster]

i hope that things work out like they find what they want and you find what you want for them. i just want to make you feel better

edited by staff to remove flaming

 

[turney31]

My very good friend had to make this decision a couple of years ago. Like you, she just didn't want to do it. It has opened so many doors for her son. Things he didn't qualify for under her care. He has thrived and so has she. Hugs to you through these hard times!