How would I bring this up to my parents?

[Nupine]

I'll try to keep this short.
I raise ADGA registered Alpine Dairy goats. I've had them for about 5 yrs. My herd currently consists of 1 buck, 4 adult does [one is for sale], 8 kids [6 will be for sale], and 3 ''pets''. I'm a homeschooled highschooler, and my chores consist of milking [my mom can't milk, major hand problems], feeding kids part of the time, evening feeding, barn cleaning, water, animal health care and management, marketing, my website, etc. For those of you without dairy goats, they are a LOT of work. I'm feeling very stressed right now. I HAVE to be at the house for about 20 minutes in the morning [about 8 am] and 20 minutes in the evening [7 pm] to milk. This makes it VERY hard to do things with friends, youth group, meetings, etc. and sleepovers at a friends house are nearly impossible. Camps and other long summer activies are really difficult to do. We have a milk machine that is not set up yet, but even then, I know mom will not want to milk the goats anytime I have something to do. This schedule starts when the does freshen in March or April, til September when I dry them off. I feel incredibly tied down, and I would like to get a job, but thats almost out of the question. I really want so sell my breeding herd, and just keep a few for pets, since I absolutely love goats. Then the work would be almost nothing, and feeding would cost a lot less money, and I could still enjoy my goats. One problem, we have so much invested in goats, and I don't think my parents would be happy with this idea. From breeding stock [I just bought a new doe kid, with my own money though], barn renovations, fencing, equipment, milk machine, and tooooons of expensive feed. Considering how NOT profitable goats are, at least for us, we would probably save money selling out in the long run, but I don't think they'd understand. Its not like we're making any money now. Plus, I HATE selling kids or culling, and I don't even like goat milk. I just really don't know what my parents will think of this decision, or how to mention it to them. I'm feeling really stressed about this.
Ashlyn

 

[happytxchick]

You sound very level-headed -- so just be honest with your parents and throw out your ideas and reasons why. Surely your parents remember being teenagers and wanting a social life (I know they may seem old to you, like I do to my kids, but it really only seems like a couple of months ago when I was a teenager myself).

You may start by asking permission to speak with them about an important subject and ask when would be a good time for them. I try to teach this approach to my own kids to use with us or other adults (like teachers at school).

Plus, since you are in high school, your parents must certainly know that you will not be around much longer to take care of all of the these duties. You are most likely moving away to college in the next few years, etc. Have you discussed with them what will happen when you go to college? That may be a good way to get the whole topic started. Ask them if they have a plan already for when this happens?

 

[Nurs4kids]

Wow, you sure convinced me! You're in a tough situation

I would just sit down and talk to my parents just like you just spelled it out here; nothing you said sounds unreasonable. Socializing for someone your age is very important and you should not feel tied-down to a non-profit making project.

I would first, sit down and figure out a spreadsheet so you can show your parents costs versus profit. Also write down all your reasons for wanting to sell so that you don't forget due to nervousness.

It is obvious by your post that your have good parents who have raised a very mature, intelligent young lady. You may be surprised to find that they have the same thoughts, but have not mentioned it because they think YOU would be upset. Regardless, if you have thought this out well (and it seems you have) and you are sure this is what you'd like to do, then you really need to share your feelings with them. Perhaps the barn and renovations do not have to be a complete waste. You could consider some other type livestock that requires less stringent upkeep/time constraints AND possibly be profitable. I have an idea---chickens!!

Good luck, sweetie!! Let us know how it goes....

 

[Knock Kneed Hen]

I'd copy your post and hand it to them. They must be awesome to have given you the opportunity to do all you've done. It takes a mature person to admit when they've gotten over their heads.
I think that they may be frustrated at first because of the investment made, but sounds like you have loving parents that will understand and will want you to be happy.

 

[scratch'n'peck]

It sounds like you have been very committed to caring for the goats for 5 years. That is longer than a lot of teenagers would stick with it. If you are really interested in getting a job that may be a good way to start the conversation, and let them know you are interested in saving money for future expenses. You may also be able to sell some equipment on Craigslist or here on BYC to recoup some expenses.

 

[GiddyMoon]

You might be surprised..maybe your parents have been doing all of this to support you but don't really like all the money invested either? If they view you as a level headed responsible girl, then that is how they are going to deal with you now...if you are actually quite flighty and need a lot of coaching to get things done..well, you will have their reaction to deal with based on your own behavior. You sound like a good kid who has been doing this a long time...I think I would pray about it...ask God to lead you...and see what happens.

 

[SourRoses]

I'm curious as to who's idea the goats were.. yours or your parents.

If it is something they wanted and they like the idea of you having a project to keep you working, and maybe avoiding trouble (no offense intended.. but a lot of parents think the best way to keep their kids on the right track is to keep them busy), then you may encounter a lot of resistance.

If it is something you started when you were a younger teenager because it was what you wanted, and maybe had to talk them into with spreadsheets on what you might make... then it might be easy or it might be hard to talk them out of it now.. depending on how they think the project is faring or future hopes for it. If you did start the project, and others in your family are still hopeful about it, it might not be really fair to opt out now. But if they only supported it for your happiness, then I'm sure they would be happy to move in another direction with you.

Personally.. I understand the part about it being a lot of work, and maybe too much.. but the 20 minutes in the morning and the evening doesen't sound like such a hardship to me... because those are times it doesen't hurt to be at home anyway. As a highschooler, being out at night or sleeping over with friends can lead to trouble you may regret later on. From personal experience (as a girl in my early 20's) even being with a 'good' crowd can lead to bad things.. everyone gets curious, and the more likely the scenario, place, or time, the more likely that things will happen you end up beng not ok with. I that makes sense? I was/am a very firm standing Christian girl... and still I found myself unable to fully protect myself from situations that made me uncomfortable or unhappy.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

The life of a farmer isn't an easy one. When you start a farm you accept that the hours aren't 9 to 5. Was this started as a serious business with a business plan or did you beg them to try this out? If this was a huge investment on their part because you promised to do X amount of the work then go ahead and talk to them and be prepared to eat alot of crow followed by a heaping humble pie. If you do sell off the herd then your parents deserve to get every cent that they put into it before you get any of it. And if they blow their tops while you tell them what you are thinking then you have buck up and listen. I get that you want to be a teen/young adult but when you choose to be a farmer you don't get time off unless you have someone who is trained to do the work that you can pay. And as with any business sometimes it gets to a point where the losses are the deciding factor. If you want a couple as pets then you need to ask them if that is ok and that at least with a part time job you could be the one feeding them and get their opinion.

 

[benjoycei]

Too much stress is detrimental to your health. You sound very level-headed, explain to your parents the situation and how you feel, they will understand and help you do what needs to be done. When I was a teenager, I had a similar stressful problem, my mom knew just what to do. It kept me from making a life altering error. Your parents want what's best for you. (guess what! I'm not a parent)

 

[lillie2202]

I agree with everyone just try talking to them about it. Just tell them how you feel. Good luck and Keep us posted.

Hope it goes well for you.