I dont understand....

[debilorrah]

Thanks!

As I went to the store to get cream; so my girls and I can make our own homemade butter...jhust for the novelty of it all....

I was told "Thats odd; why dont you just buy the butter here?"

lol..as I wore my long skirt, tshirt and flip flops....as I have my homemade greek yogurt all packaged up nice n pretty in my fridge except for the
small bit of yogurt hanging from my cabinet knob draining so it'll turn into yogurt cheese (same as cream cheese)...

sigh...I'm odd...lol...people either like me..or they dont...and most don't because they dont take the time to get to know me...

I totally would have gone off on the whole teaching kids how things happen and tell them about marbles in a jar of milk and how fun it is to spend time together shaking the jar til you have butter. You can even make songs with the danged marbles.

 

[debilorrah]

Ok, let me rant I need to because I really am moody today. And Im irritable!! And tired........and well I just feel frustrated!

All through my life I have always been friendly to people. Im not social and some of the things I say...well they come out sounding just downright wrong and in my head there are these little red alarm lights going off, but my mouth just keeps on going. I have tried so hard to be myself and make friends but sometimes it feels as though myself is my worst enemy.

For example. I join a forum, for art, taxidermy, one for the brand of my car, even here. I try to be social, or helpful, or friendly and it always seems I hit a wall. I doubt that its intentional on the part of the people I meet, but sometimes I really wonder if what Im saying is really boring, or somehow I put people off. And if I do, I would love to get rid of it so that I can be normal. I have always felt like the hen at the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to people.

I very awkward. I see people who have had a hard time, or lost a nice bird, or had a birthday or are really happy about something, and I find it hard to express my feelings of sympathy or enthusiasm because I dont want to look ingenuine. At the same time though, I do feel for people and I want to say "congrats" or "Im sorry" but I do nothing because I dont want to look like someone kissing up/brown nosing for popularity points. If I am to say something I want the people who I speak to to know that I really do care. But I dont know how to do it.

Heck, in real life I meet people and I get the impression they are trying to avoid me. I dont chase people or hover, but I do get really nervous when people talk to me so I tend to talk either fast or babble a bit. My humor too might be beyond them. I am so lucky I found a man, like my DH who actually understands me and really enjoys my company. But is there really only one person in the whole world who can actually stand me? Am I that obnoxious or rude or WHAT??

I volunteer at the local school and when a teacher comes in, I say HI, they smile and hurry out, but later I'll walk in and see two of them talking and chatting, and when they see me they get quiet. I talk about the weather, they act polite and leave quickly. (no I dont have an offensive odor) Ive been up there since February and I still feel like a total stranger.

When i moved here, I met my husbands aunt who is in her upper 70s. Everyone seems to see her as "off" or strange. Ive known her a year now and though she is really poor, she really is great. She and I get together and bake and sit out front of her house and watch the cars go by. I enjoy her company, and yes she is eccentric, but she is really nice. We get along and we have some good laughs. I sometimes mention to other people about her and I doing stuff and the look they give me is clearly "you talk to her?!"

I dont know how to express myself well at all.

Anyway...I guess Ive been under a bit of stress and I just need to get a lot of frustration and feelings off my chest.

Im not an emotional person....just residual pms striking me...after the fact...kinda late in the schedule.
But I just feel like

If my ravings and ramblings make no sense, i apologise. My head is a mixed bag o scrambled thoughts.....its hard to put into words exactly what Im trying to say or how I feel.

I see a lot of people suffering from this lately. Today I was in the MOST foul mood ever!!!! I do have a good reason, coupled with the raging wind and moronic drivers, by the time I got home I was DONE - stick a fork in me! Seems to me you express yourself just fine. Maybe it is time to give yourself a little more credit for being who you are. No one single person is just like another. Yeah, we have things in common, but no one else out there is YOU. No one else is me.

If you don't want to reply to a post, don't. Ain't no one here gonna sue you for it. And when you do respond, feel it. If you don't feel it, move on. No problem. And stress is relative. Remember this one thing: No matter how bad you have it, there is someone else out there with worse problems.

 

[Momagain1]

Debi; I agree...(but its still hard)...

I keep reminding myself; a church "friend" that I dearly love; but we can't develop a friendship due to her health issues...when I get on my
long rants; I remind myself I have my health.

God love Julia, she was told she can A: either call in hospice to help her with the natural process of her disease or B: try to see if she can
qualify for a double lung transplant...

so I try to keep that in my head...sometimes it helps...

 

[Reurra]

lol everyone is on the west coast it seems! Im in the maritimes so Im really early to bed and early to rise by everyone elses standards! lol.

Im glad that Im not alone, though I know that sounds like "misery loves company" However, knowing that im not so abstractly abnormal is a huge comfort. When i started taxidermy, it was in Oregon. There are several types of people in Oregon, some are hunters and some are animal lovers. When the animal lovers found out what I do, they really treated me like i was a monster. I dont wear designer cloths, I dont try to get on the latest makeup or the newest shoes. When i started chickens, like Momagain1 and her butter adventure, people said "why not just buy eggs?" or they would look at me with the "crazy chicken lady" look. Im so excited about my birds and love them so much that often time I catch myself talking only about them, and people just dont know what to say. I ahve to contain my chickenitis obsessicus cuz I think people think my isolated living has caused my cheese to slide off my craker.

I do ahve a passion for the things I love. Even if it is no "popular". But sometimes its hard when you meet so many people who just dont understand.

 

[Northwind]

For example.  I join a forum, for art, taxidermy, one for the brand of my car, even here.  I try to be social, or helpful, or friendly and it always seems I hit a wall.  I doubt that its intentional on the part of the people I meet, but sometimes I really wonder if what Im saying is really boring, or somehow I put people off.  And if I do, I would love to get rid of it so that I can be normal.  I have always felt like the hen at the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to people.

I very awkward.  I see people who have had a hard time, or lost a nice bird, or had a birthday or are really happy about something, and I find it hard to express my feelings of sympathy or enthusiasm because I dont want to look ingenuine.  At the same time though, I do feel for people and I want to say "congrats" or "Im sorry"  but I do nothing because I dont want to look like someone kissing up/brown nosing for popularity points.  If I am to say something I want the people who I speak to to know that I really do care.  But I dont know how to do it.

I'm going to risk another unwanted attempt at advice here, but I completely understand what you're saying! I often haven't got a clue what to say when it comes to "I'm sorry" and "Congrats" threads. However, I found out eventually that even if it's just something simple, it's appreciated just as much because while whoever it is might not have the words for giving out life-changing advice, they read through a post and cared enough to take a few seconds to type out a reply.

Oh, and also about having a passion for odd things? You are definitely not alone there. Most people stare at me like I'm off my rocker when I start getting all technical on them. So far I haven't actually found one person who shares my interests and that I can get along with!
Enjoy your friends. It's great to have someone you're pleased to see and who's pleased to see you too. Don't worry about what people think of your friends either. I still remember when I first started talking to someone who is now one of my best friends: she was an outcast, people would talk behind her back, but she was, and still is, a great person. Their loss for not realising that. Not everyone exudes charisma or is popular to the ends of the earth (wow, wouldn't I know ) but isn't the world a much more interesting place because there are people from all walks of life?

 

[Reurra]

You know, I personally prefer people who are outcasts because they talk about stuff! Interesting stuff! I like to learn things, even if its off the wall, you never know what little bits of info you can pick up that might help your life or someone elses!

 

[jamesbwood]

You mention that you dont want to look "fake" ...
Then dont write anything "fake" to people.. and you wont have to worry about it.

You have to know yourself well enough to not care what others think of you.
As long as YOU know that you are being sincere... who really cares what others think of you?

Couldn't have said it better.

 

[theoldchick]

Best written rant ever! I don't fit in with the 'regular' crowd, and it bothered me when I was young. Now, I don't care. Taking drama class allowed me to learn how to act to get along in my job. Then as I grew older, I developed empathy towards others. However, being around people gets on my nerves. I can put on a show at work, but my private time is for me and my animals. The sign on my Jeep says it best: Sit Down and Shut Up.

 

[sourland]

You know, I personally prefer people who are outcasts because they talk about stuff! Interesting stuff! I like to learn things, even if its off the wall, you never know what little bits of info you can pick up that might help your life or someone elses!

THIS! To me, people without some compelling interest are boring. Doesn't have to be what I am interested in, but something that gets them up, running, planning, dreaming - these are the people who interest me.

Like theoldchick, as a young person I operated on the fringes of social interaction. I learned how to operate with the rest of the world, but have always been most comfortable with animals or in the outdoors. An acquaintance once told me, "You are like a chameleon. You can operate with the 'suits' or the folk in a down and dirty redneck bar." (The redneck bar fit best.

) That's OK. I have made it work. I had a successful career and with the help of the Princess have created the 'real' family that I always longed for. I like and am proud of the man that I have grown into.

 

[Terri O]

Hi all---the very best thing for you to do is meet other chicken people! Here in WI we have a very active thread and we are all "friends." Last weekend was our annual Chicken Stock at a camp 4 hours away for some. But we all came together and had a blast for 3 days! THe funny thing is that at the first one many husbands and wives were dragged along....then those same people that didnt want to come couldnt wait for the next one! Everyone did their thing and it works! We are all considered "odd" for some things that we do--embrace it and dont worry what others think.
My favorite quote is from the late Dr Seuss and it goes: "Be who you are and think what you think, because those that matter dont mind and those that mind dont matter." (I think I got it right)
Hugs to all who are different...the world would be really BORING without us!
Terri O