Ended Official BYC Article Writing Contest #8 - Write and Win!

[Chicken Girl1]

I'm not full finished but I don't have much to add!
https://www.backyardchickens.com/a/you-crack-me-up-funny-chicken-jokes-and-stories

 

[sumi]

We're up to 12 entries already!

You guys are awesome!

 

[henny1129]

We're up to 12 entries already!    You guys are awesome!

Awesome! I think I'm going to do an article on tips for cleaning the coop and keeping it clean!

 

[sumi]

….. and keeping it clean!

If you can figure that out… you'd make a lot of money

 

[duluthralphie]

If you can figure that out… you'd make a lot of money

Keeping a coop clean is easy, Just lock the chickens out of it and it stays clean for weeks!

 

[BantyChooks]

Keeping a coop clean is easy, Just lock the chickens out of it and it stays clean for weeks!

Ralpie..... in your signature, it says you offer guinea fowl for waterfowl removal.

Pray tell, why would you want to remove them? Got any guineas trained to attract waterfowl?

 

[duluthralphie]

Ralpie..... in your signature, it says you offer guinea fowl for waterfowl removal.

Pray tell, why would you want to remove them? Got any guineas trained to attract waterfowl?

Pray tell, why would I want to attract a smelly, stinky, dirty, slimy, rotten, ill-tempered, worthless, poop creating waterfowl?


I was talked into some geese once by a 4-h girl that was about 11 years old when I bought my guineas from her. Little did I know she was a master sales person, spawned by the devil himself to cause evil and spread disease ridden waterfowl upon the multitudes of innocents God had failed to reach with the story of the Serpent and the goose in the Garden Of Eden.


Few people know it was actually the goose that put the serpent up to getting Eve to eat that apple. The Serpent was just another innocent pawn in the goose's evil plan of world domination.....



Whew, I hope I did not offend too many, I held back my true feelings about waterfowl as much as humanly possible on this little rant...

Thank you and good day
I feel so much better getting that off my chest....

 

[BantyChooks]

I still luv them!

What about ducks? Do you like them?
-Banti

 

[duluthralphie]

I still luv them!

What about ducks? Do you like them?
-Banti

Nope, they have webbed toes!

it is actually more of where I live than anything else, I have no standing water or creek, I live on sand so everything they do is dirty and muddy. (with the water I give them) We have a lake cabin, but it is way up in the sticks, I would love ducks and geese up there, but we only get to it a few times a year and there are too many Wolves. Bear, Fishers, mink, and other furbearing critters for them to survive there.

I had hoped to move there someday, but my Wife took total joy in smashing those dreams for me...She refuses to live very far from the grandkids....


The footer is more of a joke to tease one of the kids on the Surviving Minnesota thread, he is totally and completely unhealthily in love with ducks and geese..... I am hoping as he gets older he discovers Girls or his parents will be completely disappointed in the lack of Grandkids.

 

[ForrestGump]

Pray tell, why would I want to attract a smelly, stinky, dirty, slimy, rotten, ill-tempered, worthless, poop creating waterfowl?


I was talked into some geese once by a 4-h girl that was about 11 years old when I bought my guineas from her. Little did I know she was a master sales person, spawned by the devil himself to cause evil and spread disease ridden waterfowl upon the multitudes of innocents God had failed to reach with the story of the Serpent and the goose in the Garden Of Eden.


Few people know it was actually the goose that put the serpent up to getting Eve to eat that apple. The Serpent was just another innocent pawn in the goose's evil plan of world domination.....



Whew, I hope I did not offend too many, I held back my true feelings about waterfowl as much as humanly possible on this little rant...

Thank you and good day
I feel so much better getting that off my chest....

I love this. You should write an article on why guineas are better than water fowl, but make it a story and include all your metaphors in it.