Poetry/Prose/Creative Writing

[Redmogur]

Hi!
Please feel free to either post your writing, or give creative advice!
I am looking for opinions on mine so that I can improve.
Don't think your writing is terrible, I'm sure it's not. Anything can be improved, and nothing is hopeless. If you have anything you would like to post, PLEASE do! I would love to meet some other writers. If you're not a writer, please feel free to let me know what you think!
Here's one of my poems:

The hardest thing for a practicing poet,
Is to open your talent to the world and show it.
Poet's bold letters from their pens fly,
But ask to see and they'll turn shy.
No one's work should be taken in jest,
And some poets think their works ain't the best.
What we fear is the utmost scorn,
To see our work tattered and torn.
So if you find a poet who shows his work,
Do not assume he's a showoff jerk.
His bravery will serve him well in the end.
You should salute that brave soul, my friend.

Funny you want critique on a poem that’s about critique being negative and potentially harmful lol but it is a good reminder to all to be more conscientious about giving their opinion, good job!

 

[Redmogur]

Here’s one I did about 25 yrs ago

My Lady Fair
‘Twas thou art my lady fair?
For whom gentile hearts float on air.
‘‘Twas only a dream, my mind’s unawakened eye, a gleam.
Torn asunder upon awaking,
My heart’s in hand, surely shaking.
‘Twas thou art my Lady Fair?
I thought I saw you standing there.
——-copyrighted 1998 Robin Knight

 

[Redmogur]

Here's one I wrote a while ago:

Little bird, did you know?
It's you the whole world love so.
Your sweet voice and silvery song,
Make us all wish to sing along!
And even though you're just a chicky,
I know you'll grow up quickly!
And all across the meadow will be heard,
The song of the little sparrow bird.

Very good!

 

[azurbanclucker]

I really liked the immersion aspect of it, u can picture yourself standing in the wood during an autumn rainfall!

I think that Papa Tolkien spent way too much time describing the rocks and flowers on the side of the road in his writings, but the man knew how to engage the 5 senses in his stories and really build vivid mental landscapes in your imagination. I try to use that same technique when I write, and it's good to know you picked up on it in even such a short piece.

 

[Redmogur]

I think that Papa Tolkien spent way too much time describing the rocks and flowers on the side of the road in his writings, but the man knew how to engage the 5 senses in his stories and really build vivid mental landscapes in your imagination. I try to use that same technique when I write, and it's good to know you picked up on it in even such a short piece.

Are we the ONLY ones in the creative writing thread? We didn’t get much reaction lol

 

[azurbanclucker]

Sometimes I think I scare them off.

 

[Redmogur]

Sometimes I think I scare them off.

Lol baring ur soul in poetry is scary

 

[JacinLarkwell]

I'm getting back into writing, to my friends' delights. All in notebooks though, so if need be, I can throw them in a fire or lake at a moment's notice

 

[Redmogur]

I'm getting back into writing, to my friends' delights. All in notebooks though, so if need be, I can throw them in a fire or lake at a moment's notice

We’ll let’s hear what you have got!

 

[JacinLarkwell]

We’ll let’s hear what you have got!

They're in notebooks, not on a document. Not byc appropriate anyways