Stuck in a job I hate .... want to do chickens full time ... reality sucks..

[SarniaTricia]

Here is my story:
I have always worked the service end of any industry/job I have ever been in.
I love taking care of people and getting/finding them what they need.
I recently changed (1.5 years ago) to a sales role in my current employment. (no names as I want to stay employed)

I just came back from a weeks vacation and it hit me square on .... I really do not like my job.... I feel trapped (I need what I make now to pay the bills etc. my own fault, I am overextended)
I felt nauseous for the first 2 days back and feel a headache coming on day 3.

I know "So, find a new job" ..... seems really easy, but I have been in the same company for 10 + years and want pension and benefits. Also, I have a portfolio of clients that I take care of .... if I left I would be letting them down. (allot of turnover in this role and I promised them 5 years)


My DH says my chickens are the only thing keeping me stable right now. (can you say break down on the horrizon)
Any coping advice would be appreciated.

Thanks
Tricia

 

[sumi]

I know that feeling. I recently left my job because I couldn't take the stress anymore. I packed up spectacularly, cried on my boss's 80 year-old mom's shoulder and resigned. Now I'm a full time mom, spending time with my chickens again and worrying a bit about money. But I could not take it anymore.
So I'm not a good one to offer "coping advice", but here's a

. You're welcome to dump on us anytime!

 

[SillyChicken]

welcome to 99% of the rest of the working world dilemma!

Set some goals for yourself. Work to pay off your bills and see if you can quit working and still do chickens.. and have a life ... and retirement.. I'd love to stay home too, but it's not realistic or reasonable for me to do so. Esp since retirement probably won't really exist for me. I had a sales job I hated and it took me 4 years to find a better one. Look for one out of your comfort zone.. you never know what you'll find.

 

[Tigertrea]

My dad is a farmer. Well, he would be if he had a farm lol. He worked for Ford on the assembly line all his adult life. He "finally" bought a farm when he was about 45. It was to be his retirement job. Things happened and he lost the farm. He worked at ford for around 37yrs! hated every day of it. He now concentrates on our dogs. He still dreams of a farm and never stops looking at properties. At 62, retired 3yrs, he is waiting for the family farm in Saskatchewan to be sold and get some inheritance money from it. My dad, at 62 may Finally realize his dream. If he gets enough money to buy some property with a barn he will Finally get to be a farmer for real.

I am lucky to have a job I love. I have no idea what I will do if I cannot be a Vet tech ever. I am also very lucky to rent a house on a property that I can keep some small livestock AND a landlord who will allow it! (who lives next door too!) But, Still I would love to have a farm and just stay home and take care of my animals.

Dreams are a good thing. they give you a reason to keep doing what you need to. Do what you need to then you will be able to do what you want to!

 

[punk-a-doodle]

It's amazing how more bearable a job gets if you can sit down and plan out goals to work towards. Short term goals (ie. in a month's time I will have achieved x y and z. By February, I will have x ammount saved up), and long term (at the end of this I want to have a business involving chickens with x as a product). Sit down and plan out all costs and figure out what your profit would need to be. Be realistic in how likely it is that you will be able to reach that goal.

Many combine part-time work with a personal business. In the US though, a major concern with that will be health coverage. Some people I know have moved to countries with universal health care to be able to pursue private businesses, to not have their work mainly turned into profits for someone else, etc. Retirement is another important one, so you need to have that factored out in your plans.

Your relationship with your husband and vice versa will be something important to consider. Will there be jealousy issues if he is working a standard job and you are not? Will there be bickering over who does 'more'? Do you keep separate finances or joint (don't answer these questions! They are just to guide you when you address these things personally)? Will you have anything to fall back on if plans fall through? Then there are questions like what sort of things are you willing to give up to make ends meet? Not just current items and services, but also consider things like wedding (okay, doesn't sound like that one is applicable to you), funeral, etc expenses. Some people want large expenses for that sort of thing, and would have to figure them in.

 

[SarniaTricia]

Thanks everyone...
I know most people experience the same issues....

I am the main bread winner in our house, so just staying at home is not a possibility.
I am lucky in the healthcare issues; I am Canadian Eh!

I guess I am not really feeling the fit in my job roll and don't feel like I can express this to my manager to ask for career coaching. (or any help at all)
I talked with my old supervisor today and she gave me some suggestions on coaching the coach. (so to speak)

I have people (customers) depending on me and I am not ....well ... it is what it is.... I will need to do some of what punk-a-doodle and city chicken said regarding planning... I am good at planning, so I will start there.
I do have a fallback (waitressing) but I am not ready to fall back yet..

Thanks again everyone...I apreaciate the support.
Tricia

 

[PamelaTX]

I'm sure you have heard this already but.....As someone down here in the states who has known so many who have been (unwillingly) without a job, I say this, "As bad as it is, be glad you have a job." I have so many friends who thought they hated their jobs, then suddenly they didn't have one. Now they realize they didn't hate it nearly as much as they thought they did. Now they would GLADLY do that job they "hated" so much back then.

I know this may not help much. And I know it is really frustrating for people to say exactly what I just said. I guess I just wanted to point out that if you really want to try stomach aches and head aches...try not being able to pay the bills.

I think an exit strategy is in order for you! I think your plan to make a plan and then work the plan is a great idea! In the meantime, let those chickens keep you sane. That sounds pretty healthy to me!

 

[SarniaTricia]

Pamela
You are absolutely right.
I really do need the reminder that I should be counting my blessings that I have a job.

Yeh, obsessed with chickens is much healthier.
Thank you for pointing out something that helps put things in perspective!

Tricia

 

[thaiturkey]

Those with jobs that they really enjoy for a working lifetime are lucky. Even hobbies rarely hold their interest consistently for forty odd years. On the other hand, I don't accept the argument that we should be grateful to have a job we don't enjoy because others are out of work. That's tantamount to justifying exploitation in the workplace and there has been examples of that described on this forum recently.

If a job isn't right, do something to make it right or look for another one. How about a word with the boss? Walking out in a job you don't like t take up a hobby because someone else will work to pay the bills may not have a good outcome. If keeping chickens is something that will satisfy and earn a living too, find a way to turn the hobby into a business. There are many clues about chicken businesses on BYC.

Some might say that its worth doing a tedious job because you can enjoy retirement. I'm lucky in that I've already had a few years of retirement to play at anything I want but it's not a good idea to sacrifice your decades at work in the hope that you make it to retirement. If it ain't working for you, do something positive about it now but don't just complain. If you are really in need of coping advice, see a professional therapist for a while rather than rely on well meaning well wishers.

 

[chickened]

I consider my job a privilege, I work to serve my employers. When I view my job as an opportunity to please them it makes those not so good days seem less stressful. I also know that others in my home depend on me for support and without my sacrifice they would go without. That is how I must treat my job. If I have an attitude that it is all about me and am entitled I would soon hate my job so I must keep the attitude that I am really working for those I care about not me. It really actually works... for me.