The "get to 1,000 pages before 12/31/12" thread

[Kevin565]

any body know how many post that will to get to 1,000 pages?

10,000 but 9982 to be exact

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

sloth calls the police to report that he was attacked and robbed by a gang of turtles. When the police ask him to describe the attack, he replies:

"I.....Doooon't.....knoooow...
It... all... happened..... soooooo ... fasssst....."

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Sloth-vs-Turtles.html)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.

Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.

The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps

After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/600-Story-Hotel.html)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

A tiger was walking through the jungle one day and saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was reading a newspaper, and the other was working feverishly on a manual typewriter.

The tiger leapt on the man with the newspaper, and ate him up. The tiger did not bother the other man at all. That's because any predator knows that readers digest but writers cramp.

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Tigers-Snack.html)


I am donating my posts in the form of jokes

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ.

"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."

~Charlie Chuckster

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Jerks-Get-the-Attractive-Wives.html)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

There was a captain sailing on the sea during a battle. His servant came up to him and the captain said, "bring me my red shirt".

So, the servant did as the captain said.

After that the servant came up to the captain and said, Why did you say bring me my red shirt"?

The captain said, "Well if i get shot they won't see the blood.

The next day the servant came up to the captain and said, "There are 50 ships on the horizon."

The captain said, "Bring me my brown pants."

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Red-Shirt.html)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

Why is a bees hair sticky?

Because... he uses a honeycomb!

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Bees-Hair.html)

 

[Kevin565]

Why is a bees hair sticky?

Because... he uses a honeycomb!

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Bees-Hair.html)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

There were three men on a hill with their watches.

The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.

The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.

The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.

The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.

The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"

(http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Three-men-on-a-hill.html)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

A riddle for the day

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?