You might be a redneck if ...

[bluesub]

Spook,

I loved the story about your brother dumping your mom off the truck - hope your mom has a good sense of humor...

I can't say that I'm a redneck, live too near civilization - but my dad was lighting some fireworks in my backyard and had them all in a plastic milk crate. He decided to let the grandkids light sparklers next to the crate... luckily no one was hurt. Who knew the sparks from sparklers could light all those fireworks? The neighbor's dog had a way of wandering into our yard. He happened to chose that moment to appear from between the bushes. It was a long time before we saw him again...

 

[oldrooster]

You might be considered a redneck if your favorite sandwich is peanut butter and banana with mayo.

So Elvis, did the doctors tell you to lay off the bacon on those sandwiches????

 

[livenwpeeps]

If you decerate the bull dozer for Christmas and park it in the front yard!!!!

 

[Kristin Brown]

I adore that you decorated your bull dozer for Christmas! I would do that with our little bobcat tractor but I'd be afraid we might need to use it to clear the driveway and what have you! Lol. I did see a funny sight at a tree farm with a fully decorated Christmas tree on display in the bed of an old farm truck from the 30's. I told my man we should do the same! Ha ha but in all seriousness I would in fact like to throw some old time decorations on my chicken coop!

 

[oldrooster]

you buy a used school bus to haul all your kids in plus all your purchases from your monthly trip to the grocery, hardware stores and lumbar yard.....

 

[duckluck]

 

[oldrooster]

You laugh but I know one family and if the father saw my post and thought it was a challenge and found a good running used bus he'd do it. He and his wife have 9 kids last time I spoke to him 2 years ago, and his wife was open to having more kids so he might be forced to even if he doesn't take it as a challenge.... Plus I have seen several and heard of several people who buy buses and haul livestock in them or use them for hauling stuff around the farm like square bales of hay, bags of feed lumber, anything that you can fit in it and needs to be transported esp. if it needs to be dry....

 

[caspernc]

Ya'll were left with too much time to yourselves!

 

[caspernc]

Funny and sad at the same time...

I'm guilty of more than a few of these. Plus some other things that
have clearly marked my spot in the family history...

My first '"suspenders" were indeed made from baling twine.

My friend and I put his canoe in our swimming pool so we could practice
how to use it. (and not turn over.) We were even fishing...

I painted my first car with a brush. After watching me, my brother painted
his with a paint roller. (next time, I bet we mask the chrome off)

Speaking of my brother... some lessons we learned the hard way...

Growing up, our dad was a truck driver. So we had old semi-tires as "toys".
One of us would curl up inside the tire, and the other would roll it around
the yard. Rolling my brother around the yard one time, I lost control of it...
He rolled over the hill and hit a tree...knocked him out cold. We left him
lay...

Lazy boys and a snow sled... no one likes pulling the sled back up the
hill. But us...we're smarter than most people. So we tied a rope the
sled, make pulling it back up the hill easier.

Didn't work out as planned.

At the end of the rope, the sled made a sudden stop.

We didn't...

Sadly, we never seemed to learn when to quit...

We built us a "clubhouse" in an old root cellar. Even made ourself
one of those pot-belly stoves out of an old oil drum. Cut us a door,
made sure it fit fir nice and tight. Filled it full of coal and fired it up.
Only thing we forgot was to actually VENT it.

Yep, it got nice and hot...and blew up. Our clubhouse was on fire.
That was that...

Sometimes I think my brother's a little slow...

It runs in the family... (we have no limit on stupidity here)

We were "learning" to drive my uncles Kenworth one time. He didn't
know we were learning...uncle wasn't there. (This will teach him to
leave his keys in the truck) Anyway, we got it stuck in a ditch. Could be
because we didn't know how to actually drive a big truck.

We looked this over and know we're gonna get in trouble...

But what happened next was a whole lot worse... one of those
"family storys" that won't go away.

It was me, my brother, and our cousin. It was his daddy's truck we
ran in a ditch. And he knows he's in real trouble. Me and my brother...
we can go home.

So he got his daddy's BRAND-NEW chevrolet pickup we weren't
supposed to be driving either, to pull the Kenworth out. So we tried
and we tried. But the truck was stuck.

We decided we just needed more force. We can get this truck out
of the ditch, put it back and act like nothing ever happend.

So we went back and got us a longer chain...much longer.

We're gonna get us a run and go...the sudden jerk will pull the
Kenworth outta the ditch...

Wrong again. But there was a sudden jerk...

It was when we ripped the back bumper right off of our uncle's
brand new pickup.

It was still connected to the chain when my dad and uncle got home.
There it was...just laying in the road.

Don't guess they make bumpers like they use to.



You got this far...I'll share one more famous "brother' story with
you. This one happened after we adults...done grown and married.
He should of knowed better...

We were digging 'taters at mom and dads. We were done digging
when my brother got there. So I got on the farm tractor, mom got in
the wagon to ride up the hill. Mom and dad live on top of the hill, the
garden is in the bottom.

So we start up the hill...I'm driving, mom's in the wagon and my dad
and brother are walking beside us. We get almost to the top of the
hill and my brother ask's "What's this handle for?" and pulls it...

It was a dump-wagon...my brother had just dumped our load of
'taters --and our mom-- out.

The 'taters --and our mom-- went rolling down the hill.

And do you know that the really sad thing is? These storys aren't
the worse of it.

There has truely been no limit on our stupidity.

I was 17 or so...we were going to show dad how grown up we
were. My brother and I were going to go to town, buy us some
calfs at the auction, and raise them and sell them. Gonna make
money.

We are MEN.

So...we borrowed moms new station wagon to haul them in.

Bought us four little herford calfs, and after the sale we backed
into the ramp to load new cows.

You know how it is at the livestock auction...everybody standing
around watching everybody else.

So these farmer-types are doing their thing...dirty old farm trucks
loading cows.

I backed moms new station wagon in there with them and jump
out to load the calfs my brother is guarding. Don't even think
about my leaving the drivers door open...

I'm back there, shoving these four calfs in the tailgate. They
jumped over the seat, out the door and ran down the street...

Yep, those farmers were laughing so hard they forgot to help
us as my brother and I chased our calfs down the street...


No limit....

Ya'll were left with too much time on your hands!

 

[duckinnut]

You have a network of people that call you when a deer is dead on the side of the road and you retrieve it. After so many roadkills you have picked up you earn the nickname Roadkill Bill. Very true story.