*at a friend's house*
Friend: you have some dirt on your pants.
Me: okay. Wait. That's not dirt.
F: what is it then?
M:oh it's okay, it's just chicken poop.
F: *silence*
M: What?
F: doesn't that bother you?
M: nope.
Me: "The polish twins went outside yesterday for a while."
Friend: "You adopted twins?! Congratulations!"
Me: "Thanks!"
Friend:"Can I have a picture?"
Me:"Sure! Here's one of them. The other's sleeping.
Friend: "... Uhhm. Cute?"
Me:"Isn't she?"
Friend:"Uhh she's one ugly baby."
Me: "Excuse...
I babysit a lot, and there's a specific kid who loves eggs.
"If they're Easter eggs that means they're chocolate right? They're blue and stuff so maybe white chocolate?"
"Get your butt over here, I need to wash it."
"Nonono don't poop on your siste- nevermind. too late."
"Let go of her foot!" -When one of my chicks was hanging on to another by it's foot. I was holding one, and the other decided to jump and peck it, and was hanging on about an inch off the ground.
"You have a frostbitten comb again, don't you."
Neighbors must think I'm crazy. I was talking to a friend the other day about frostbitten combs and she asked how metal/plastic can get frostbite. Apparently she's not a chicken person.
"There's a spider on my pants!! Oh wait, nevermind, just chicken poo."
I was freaking out thinking there was a spider on my pants. Turned out it was just chicken poop.
Dad: "Hey, wanna go for a walk with me and the dog?" me: "Can I bring a chicken?" Dad: "Fine..." me: "YAY! *runs out to coop with chihuahua harness*"
"Mom, are you sure Petrie (the chicken) will like the hot pink harness? What if she likes purple?"
"Uhh Mom... I need to take a shower..."...