Originally Posted by MotorcycleChick
I was tortured with needles from birth to four. Hospital stays and all. I also got my butt smacked if I acted up about going to the doctor or hospital. I don't hate my parents for teaching me right from wrong. Acting out only made the needles worse anyway.
I do resent the adults that act out because they were spoiled. ADD/ADHD/Bipolar are not excuses for bad behavior. Change the discipline, but get it done.
I'm a firm believer in discipline - but if the kid cognitively doesn't understand, you can't force them to make connections and spanking won't fix that.
When your kid has an anxiety attack that causes them to hyperventilate until they puke, because of their fear of doctors, you don't make it worse by hurting them. You help them work through it.
I've had PTSD type symptoms due to abuse, that type of fear is horrific. I was lucky that my husband loved me enough to help me work through it. But he didn't do it by hurting me. He did it by holding my hand and helping walk me through situations that terrified me, helping me face my fears with support.
I want to show my child compassion, because you don't make someone get over fear, by causing fear to be worse, or being afraid of more pain if they show emotions.
There's a huge difference between willful disobedience, and fear making you lash out.