TheFatBlueCat
Crowing
Oh my, what a thread! I think it's totally OK to be sad about these things, but you can't say it to your children, or let it influence your future behavior if at all possible.
My late mother caused a very large rift between us for similar reasons. I was with a guy for several years, who ended up being what I shall call the sperm donor for my daughter. He was not a good guy, and my mother's didn't like him.
I met my husband a couple of years later, and he is just the most perfect fit for me and our daughter, whom he has raised and is for all purposes that matter, her father.
In the intervening years however my ex partner had another child with a family friend, and my mother became very involved in that situation. It was incredibly inappropriate as my daughter and I had no contact with this person (I did not withhold her from him but he was not interested), and there were safety concerns. I was unable to trust my own mother with my daughter due to this situation and her attempts to push us back into contact due to this new child.
My mother never liked my husband and was very critical and judgey of our parenting and our life choices. It drove a very large wedge between us that would not have been surmountable. We had reached a good place just before she died, and I'm grateful for that, but I had cut her out of my personal life and did not speak to her about much other than her own life and the weather.
Please be careful. As a mother myself I wouldn't want to be the cause of driving my daughter away.
My late mother caused a very large rift between us for similar reasons. I was with a guy for several years, who ended up being what I shall call the sperm donor for my daughter. He was not a good guy, and my mother's didn't like him.
I met my husband a couple of years later, and he is just the most perfect fit for me and our daughter, whom he has raised and is for all purposes that matter, her father.
In the intervening years however my ex partner had another child with a family friend, and my mother became very involved in that situation. It was incredibly inappropriate as my daughter and I had no contact with this person (I did not withhold her from him but he was not interested), and there were safety concerns. I was unable to trust my own mother with my daughter due to this situation and her attempts to push us back into contact due to this new child.
My mother never liked my husband and was very critical and judgey of our parenting and our life choices. It drove a very large wedge between us that would not have been surmountable. We had reached a good place just before she died, and I'm grateful for that, but I had cut her out of my personal life and did not speak to her about much other than her own life and the weather.
Please be careful. As a mother myself I wouldn't want to be the cause of driving my daughter away.