After Brain Surgery - Hubby is going back to work... Update pg. 23

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Those of us who have found the same sort of love that you have understand your fear. Cover all of the 'what if's' and then prepare for the best outcome.
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Sending many warm thoughts of strength, peace and serenity to you and your husband.
 
You have to do what you have to do to feel prepared as much as you can be.


BUT..

As you say - what if? What if something DOES happen and you have spent the last month before the operation worried sick, too worried to enjoy time with your husband, too worried to notice the crinkles around his lips when he smiles at you, or the way he looks when he's joking with your kids, or how he smells just right when you hug. Do what you have to do to feel prepared but don't let the worries consume you completely...

I am so so so so so sorry you have to go through this, no one deserves this kind of worry or heart ache... know the risks but as your friends say - think positively, too. I will send you positive thoughts and prayer also!
 
It's funny to me how the people closest to us won't allow you to just "be" when a crisis hits you. I think it is much too personal for all involved. It is much easier to pat you on the head and tell you everything will be okay than it is to listen to you voice aloud the fears that are consuming you. It seems to be part of the human condition. I think the reason it is easier to talk to strangers openly is because they won't take ownership of your feelings, but will listen to the ugly, because in the end, it doesn't affect them . Strangers don't have to admit they are feeling it too.

This surgery affects everyone, but for your husband, it's personal. It's "his" surgery, "his" life on the table. The only people who this is as personal for are you, the children, and his parents. You two sound as close as my husband and I are. Can you talk to each other? If you ask him if he is scared, would he tell you "YEAH" and then tell you all of the things he is afraid of? Sometimes, with me and the old man, we don't even use words. He can look into my eyes and we communicate all just through that look without speaking at all.

I'm sorry that you are facing the largest word in the english language, "IF". I haven't been through what you care going through right now. I've been through other crisis, but never one involving my husbands health, his life. I can't seem to make myself even think about that. If you need an outlet, PM me and I'll send you my phone number.
 
I have no real words of wisdom to offer as posts from others before me have put it much more eloquently and wisely than I ever could, but I just wanted to offer you a big cyber hug and let you know how you have touched my heart with your post. I am sending blessings of strength and healing to you both. Take good care of your husband, but take good care of yourself too.
 
Thank you all so much for your words. I so greatly appreciate you taking the time...

I do try not to dwell on the entire situation. Hubby is amazing... unless you know the medical issues, you would never think anything was wrong. I cherish every second I spend with him.

He and I have an amazing relationship. He is my best friend. It's funny, we are total opposites, but like so many of the same things. I'm loud and all over the place, he is quiet and very calm. We love being together, and I look forward all day long to going home and seeing him and the kids, and of course, my chickens. My chickes are keeping me sane right now.

I find myself not sleeping, just laying there listening to him breath. I find myself just watching him when he is working outside. I find myself remembering when we first bought the house and he was trying to start the old lawn mower for the first time. Then I jump ahead and think about being old and him chasing me around with our walkers... (you have to know my hubby).

I know it will be okay... I have to believe it will be okay.

We are okay for now... but please be on the other end of this forum when he's having surgery. I know I will be looking for a place to hide
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... you have no idea how great it is to have a place like this to go ... thank you for all the prayers... I really hope the man upstairs is listening.

I will keep yous up-to-date as we get closer to the surgery.

I have to run... today is my birthday and me and the hubby are going out for the night...
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Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Buugette. Happy Birthday to you. Have an awesome day and night.
 

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