Bless Their Heart... And Other Southern Sayings

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My dad always said if the cats didn't behave he would "tie a knot in their tail" ---- but really he likes cats, he just won't admit it, and no cats were ever harmed (in fact, now that I've moved out he is the one who feeds them!)
 
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Pump knot: a lump resulting from a severe blow to the head.

Slow Funeral- This one startled me like the other poster. I thought it very odd to announce a slow funeral with a sign on the side of the road. So, what is a fast funeral? A drive thru?
 
Things I say and I'm a 22 yr old NC'er
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Jerk a knot in your tail - Jerk a knot in your head
Britches
Undies
Showts not shorts
over yonder, in yonder, down yonder, up yonder
'der it is (instead of THERE lol)
punkin not pumpkin
fowk not fork (only when I'm not paying attention and am in a hurry or something - i slip on them there R's)
Heathens and hellions
Coke not coca cola (Pass the coke over here!)
Fridge or fridgerator no RE in there - I usually say "In the fridge" or "In the freezer" - I distinquish between each side
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Dash not glove box unless I get a look
bless their heart
as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Goose egg - I got one of those today on the back of my head trying to fix DD's swing


On funerals - around here you see two signs : "Slow Funeral" and one funeral home has a sign that says "Be respectful - funeral ahead" I was raised to take this as "Slow down, cut your radio down or off, and don't be stupid or disrespectful"
Funeral procession here is lead by Sheriff's deputies or if going to cemetary in city limits - by city police officers - always two one in front one behind (one behind sits in traffic of turning procession to get them out of the funeral home then follows) ...Funeral procession I was raised to pull my butt over, throw it in park and a man should take his hat off. also the above "cut your radio off, dont be stupid and be respectful" - this means ANYWHERE along the way - and if I can get in an intersection for a funeral procession I stop in the intersection so no one on that side can be stupid and jump in through the light - so they have to sit through their light if need be.
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Ok, here's one for an English accent.

My friend moved to England from California four years ago and is now expecting her first child. Her mother decides to send her a few boxes of maternity clothes - a box of shirts and a box of jeans/bottoms.

My friend goes to the post office to pick up the box, and they have to check the customs slip to see what is in each box. One slip says "Used Maternity Pants".

If any of you know anything about the English, pants refer to underwear. The people at the post office were cracking up wondering why in the world she was getting boxes of used underwear!!
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Quote:
Elvis song... Polk Salad Annie, gators got your grannie...
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That was Tony Joe White, I think. Can't recall Elvis singing that one. I sure remember that song!

They both recorded that song. Tony Joe White was first I think, but Elvis and several others recorded it also. (The only reason I know is we own a huge karaoke library, over 1,700 CD's and over 25,000 songs, we have several versions.)
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