Dad Jokes😂

[Birdinhand]

I don’t mean to brag, but they’ve banned me from the hardware store.

I kept setting off all the stud sensors.

My wife complains that I put too many holes in the walls when I try and hang something. She asks me why I don’t just use a stud finder… I keep telling her, they go off any time I get near one.

She doesn’t find that one very funny.

 

[Jester57]

My wife complains that I put too many holes in the walls when I try and hang something. She asks me why I don’t just use a stud finder… I keep telling her, they go off any time I get near one.

She doesn’t find that one very funny.

Wives never do.

 

[notabitail]

Wives never do.

They whine about it.

 

[Jester57]

How do you know when a tree’s hit puberty?

Wood shaving.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Chickens have stopped crossing the road.

Spoiler

 

[Jester57]

I’m thinking about getting into politics, but I don’t have any name recognition.

I’m considering changing my name to “None Of The Above”.

 

[Jester57]

Chickens have stopped crossing the road.

Spoiler

View attachment 3773568

If a chicken uses a ewe-ber as a getaway vehicle following a bank robbery, does that mean they’re on the lamb?

 

[Hayden Goseek]

So what are your goals for the gym?

Going.

 

[Brooks_]

So what are your goals for the gym?

Going.

not going