Engagement party... thoughts?

[froggie71]

Well I didn't have an engagement party nor have I ever been to one. Just recently I and my family received an invitation to my cousins engagement party. I knew it was coming as she posted on Facebook that "the invitations were done and should be sent out soon". Yes the engagement was "announced" on FB as well. The wedding is not to be for another 2 or 3 years. Her older sisters did not have an engagement party, but being the wedding is so far away there will be a party so she can feel special now (my mother who is my cousin's godmother thought this would be nice). Included in the invitation was a card for a gift registry to both Bed, Bath & Beyond and Target. This is what gets me. She is currently living with her parents and her fiance is living with his parents. Where would they put presents? What if they don't get married? Emily Post says an engagement party is to announce to family and friends of the engagement. (This has already been done on Facebook). It is not a wedding shower. Presents may be given by close family, godparents, but is not to be expected.

So I have not RSVP'ed yet. What are your thoughts? What would you do? Gift? No Gift? (BTW DH says we should give her an Emily Post Etiquette Book).

 

[Kudzu]

Lot can happen in 2-3 years; I would skip the party and treat myself to a night out.

 

[redhen]

Its just stupid and a greedy way to get free things. I would not go. Tacky..tacky..tacky...
Those are my thoughts..

 

[kidcody]

A nice card showing that you share there happiness and excitement!

 

[mississippifarmboy]

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I like hubby's idea....

 

[redhen]

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Yup... thats the thing to do... a simple nice card.

 

[Queen of the chickens]

Hubby's idea isn't bad. I think there is even a wedding edition especially for brides to be. A card would be nice, too. If you really feel you need to do more, then get her a subscription to Bride Magazine or maybe a gift card to Olive Garden or something that they could enjoy together, but wouldn't take up space. But honestly, I don't think you should feel obligated to give a gift.

 

[eenie114]

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I like hubby's idea....

If she caught on, that gift would be just as rude or worse that what she's doing.

I second the idea of a nice card with the long distance as an excuse.

 

[SourRoses]

It does sound like a "Give me presents" party.

All the same, I would go, as we are talking about being polite and it's the nice thing to celebrate with family members and friends when something great happens to them.

BUT, no way would I get her anything she "registered" for, or anything from those selected places. She isen't keeping house yet, so what would she need them for? Plus, as said, the engagement party isen't supposed to be about gifts. More just about simple celebration.

So I'd get something to help celebrate. A cheap bottle of wine... a dessert... or just a pack of napkins

I do like your hubbies idea... it's funny... but I agree with Eenie, if my mom was her godmother and suggested the party, I would try to keep the peace.... in a way that lets it be known you're not joining the endless present train (bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding, housewarming party, baby shower, ect ect ect)

 

[conny63malies]

give her something random like a dog leash and a bottle of aspirin.....