Funny fart stories: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gag!!

[chickabator]

one day my dh , dd and myself were in good will. dh motioned for me to come where he was I started walking and I could smell it, and so could everyone else in the store . It went like a ring and drifted through out the entire store people very quickly left the area we were at and went to the other side of the store then left the store.

then once we were in another store and he done his deed an old lady walked past us and he turned and looked at me and said
in the most discusted voice and look on his face "Cathy what did you do" then started to roll laughing. that little old lady looked at me so funny and I am not the one who done it.

then one night we were in bed he acted like he wanted to snuggle . I scooted over next to him he grabbed me in a loving way, pulled me over next to him and put his leg around me and arm to hold me down grabbed the cover and pulled it over my head and held me there needless to say I puked!!! I was so mad at him but it was and still is funny

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I have a question....and I am being serious. After reading these I am starting to think I may be the only person out there like this. Unless I am completely alone and in my own bathroom I can't go potty or pass gas. Period! The only exception is a hotel bathroom if I can make everyone else leave. Once, when we were moving to Alaska, I was pregnant with our youngest. I ended up with mild food poisoning. I was literally curled in a ball on the bed crying until I got up the nerve to ask my husband to take the kids and go somewhere so I could go to the bathroom. I am so glad I have a very accommodating hubby.

 

[GPN]

We had a friend whom would not use ANY ones bathroom at all.

 

[Lunachick]

Quote:
Oh no, no, no. You are not alone, I'm very shy, but with my cats - that's different.

One time when hubby and I were dating and we went to Vanderbilt's mansion on the Hudson River in NY and we were walking around the grounds and he wanted to hug me, and when he did I snuck one out - oops - he said "Well, you're human!" I was so embarrassed. I never wanted that to happen!

 

[luvmychicknkids]

LOL...oh, Lunachick, I totally agree, the cats are way different than a person.

But mine isn't a matter of being shy or not wanting to, mine really doesn't work.

When in the hospital after having my first son they tried to refuse to discharge me until I had a bowel movement. 2 days and mass quantities of laxatives and stool softeners later I assured them they were just trying to kill me. Finally I was sent home with a fleets enema and instructions that I HAD to use it if I had not gone by that evening and to call and repeort back the second I went. 5 minutes after getting home I called and said "alright, I pooped. Are you happy now????" This has to be some sort of mental disorder or something!!!!

However, I was taught by a close male friend as a child how to make myself belch. While I almost NEVER do it, I can make the windows rattle!!!! Once in a great while I let the kids convince me to do it just for their entertainment value!!! LOL

 

[conny63malies]

Not really a story. But my DD Taylor who is seven(she is the one on my avatar) is a awesome armpit and knee fart sound maker.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Quote:
Now that made me LOL!!!!

The rest of these horror smell stories had me laughing till I had tears rolling!

 

[conny63malies]

Quote:
Now that made me LOL!!!!

The rest of these horror smell stories had me laughing till I had tears rolling!

Did I mention that she used to be a beauty pageant queen? Very lady like

 

[WriterofWords]

Quote:
Shy bowel syndrome:

http://www.shybowel.com/

 

[steffpeck]

My little 2 year old let a big one tonight, and he started laughing and said, "my bum, burped" I thought I was going to die laughing. It was so funny.