I had a son who passed away at almost 4 years old who had quadreplegia cerebral palsy,epilepcy,profound mental retardation,100% g tube fed, 100% nonverbal/immobile. I loved every single second I spent taking care of that child and I have no doubt I am a more patient accepting mother ( and person in general) because of those years I got to spend with him. Having said that I honestly don't think anyone could ever understand the toll that takes on a person. The amount of care needs, how much that affects the entire family's life, how many sacrifices must be made. I know even at 4yrs it was an every day 24 hrs a day 7 days a week non stop thing. I slept on the floor by his crib in case he threw up so he wouldn't choke. He was tube fed 24 hrs a day but the machines would make him throw up all day every day so sleeping wasn't an option. He had therapies all day every day. I would do it again. We are in the process of a Downs Syndrome adoption. I wouldn't fault you for either decision. You have obviously done a wonderful job of keeping him home and taking care of him all these years. It's very hard but I also think giving him up or letting him live elsewhere will most likely be equally hard emotionally so it's definitly alot to weigh. Good luck!!