I'm making this thread not to bash anyone's religion. I wanted to get that out there right away before I even start explaining my issue. I'm needing some advice and counseling from my fellow chicken lovers. I've made a lot of good friends from this forum. And hope that my friends (all you guys) can help me solve a problem I'm dealing with in my home.
A few months ago, my husband decided to join a group of people he works with, in a Saturday Sabbath at one of his friend's house. The reason why its at the house is cause they said they cant find a church here that supports Messianic Jewism. Which is what they are all about. Now I'm not against religion. But I don't go to church or categorize myself under any religious term. We have been together for 8 years and he knew this and was the same way up until a few months ago. He started going some time before Halloween last year. Anyways. The longer he attends these gatherings the more stressful things have become on me and our relationship.
The first problem was the fact that his Saturday Service was lasting from 12 noon, to past midnight. Some times he stays all night long and doesn't come home till morning the next day. I do not go with him cause I do not approve of the things they discuss. I'm not going to go into that too much though cause it will get me off the whole issue here at hand.
The second problem came around Christmas time. He refused to celebrate Xmas with us, and wouldn't allow me to have a tree in the house. Or a wreath on the door. It caused a lot of drama because Xmas is one of my most favorite holidays. I love the sparkling lights, the decorations, the gift buying, wrapping stuff up, singing, everything... and he ruined it for us all. I was able to get him to allow me to put up lights. And to have gifts. But he wouldn't involve himself in any of this. Not even gift buying.
As time passed more stuff became apparently wrong with all this. He wanted us to start celebrating other holidays that Ive never even heard of. And frankly I would have celebrated with him if the events were fun. But they weren't. He wanted us to sleep outside in the middle of winter for one of them. I ended up on the side of a hill, sharing a tent with some of the other people in his service. Everyone stayed up extremely late, keeping me up late. I was told there was a sleeping bag for me but when I got there, out in the middle of no where, I had just some blankets, which I give the kids. And 1 sleeping bag for me and my husband to share. With no kind of padding on the ground what so ever. I didn't eat anything they had cause it was all junk food. And I was freezing my butt off on the hard ground so I ended up unable to sleep the entire time. Not to mention that the people there was very rude. Talking smack about each other when they weren't around to hear them.
I decided then I wouldn't get involved in anything else they do. And try to pursue my husband to do the same. He wont listen to me though. Its caused plenty of arguments between us.
Now last month his birthday was on the 27th and I had planned something nice to do with him. I found a stable and reserved some horse back riding time for the two of us on the mountain. I had even got a baby sitter for the kids. So we could spend the time together alone. Try to make the best of it.
But right before we are to go he says "Your going to Sabbath with me?" Yes he broke our plans and decided to go to his gathering. And on the day of his birthday at that. They where having some sort of celebration. Not for him but for some Messianic holiday. Something about a king who's wife disobeyed him and so he had her killed. I don't know the whole story of it but they all dressed up like people out of the bible and told the story. I got a headache and went to another room and laid down. I only went with him cause I wanted to spend his birthday with him. But the whole day ended horribly. They ended up feeding it into his head and everyone else's head there. That women are not equal to men, and that they should obey man and do as he tells them too. That they shouldn't make any decisions with out the husband's consent. I about exploded on them all.
Now easter is getting close at hand and my husband breaks the news to me that he doesn't want us celebrating easter any more. I enjoy having easter with my kids. We have always decorated eggs and did the whole easter egg hunt thing and got photos taken professionally of the kids in pretty matching dresses. Now he wants to take that away from us and replace it with something else. I don't know anything about passover but after he has passover he wants to do some other ritual religious holiday where we don't eat bread for a week or two. (forgot how long exactly he said it would be for).
Not eating bread doesn't sound like that big a deal to most. But I have IBS. For those of you who don't know what that is, its a digestive disorder. I cant eat that many different things. Bread makes up pretty much 80% of my diet. For me to not have bread is like telling a chicken it cant have anything other then grass to eat.
Long story cut short, this is driving a wedge between me and him. I'm growing resentment towards him and it gets worse by the day. We cant go a single day with out fighting any more. I don't know what to do about this situation any longer. I'm about to the point of leaving him.
A few months ago, my husband decided to join a group of people he works with, in a Saturday Sabbath at one of his friend's house. The reason why its at the house is cause they said they cant find a church here that supports Messianic Jewism. Which is what they are all about. Now I'm not against religion. But I don't go to church or categorize myself under any religious term. We have been together for 8 years and he knew this and was the same way up until a few months ago. He started going some time before Halloween last year. Anyways. The longer he attends these gatherings the more stressful things have become on me and our relationship.
The first problem was the fact that his Saturday Service was lasting from 12 noon, to past midnight. Some times he stays all night long and doesn't come home till morning the next day. I do not go with him cause I do not approve of the things they discuss. I'm not going to go into that too much though cause it will get me off the whole issue here at hand.
The second problem came around Christmas time. He refused to celebrate Xmas with us, and wouldn't allow me to have a tree in the house. Or a wreath on the door. It caused a lot of drama because Xmas is one of my most favorite holidays. I love the sparkling lights, the decorations, the gift buying, wrapping stuff up, singing, everything... and he ruined it for us all. I was able to get him to allow me to put up lights. And to have gifts. But he wouldn't involve himself in any of this. Not even gift buying.
As time passed more stuff became apparently wrong with all this. He wanted us to start celebrating other holidays that Ive never even heard of. And frankly I would have celebrated with him if the events were fun. But they weren't. He wanted us to sleep outside in the middle of winter for one of them. I ended up on the side of a hill, sharing a tent with some of the other people in his service. Everyone stayed up extremely late, keeping me up late. I was told there was a sleeping bag for me but when I got there, out in the middle of no where, I had just some blankets, which I give the kids. And 1 sleeping bag for me and my husband to share. With no kind of padding on the ground what so ever. I didn't eat anything they had cause it was all junk food. And I was freezing my butt off on the hard ground so I ended up unable to sleep the entire time. Not to mention that the people there was very rude. Talking smack about each other when they weren't around to hear them.
I decided then I wouldn't get involved in anything else they do. And try to pursue my husband to do the same. He wont listen to me though. Its caused plenty of arguments between us.
Now last month his birthday was on the 27th and I had planned something nice to do with him. I found a stable and reserved some horse back riding time for the two of us on the mountain. I had even got a baby sitter for the kids. So we could spend the time together alone. Try to make the best of it.
But right before we are to go he says "Your going to Sabbath with me?" Yes he broke our plans and decided to go to his gathering. And on the day of his birthday at that. They where having some sort of celebration. Not for him but for some Messianic holiday. Something about a king who's wife disobeyed him and so he had her killed. I don't know the whole story of it but they all dressed up like people out of the bible and told the story. I got a headache and went to another room and laid down. I only went with him cause I wanted to spend his birthday with him. But the whole day ended horribly. They ended up feeding it into his head and everyone else's head there. That women are not equal to men, and that they should obey man and do as he tells them too. That they shouldn't make any decisions with out the husband's consent. I about exploded on them all.
Now easter is getting close at hand and my husband breaks the news to me that he doesn't want us celebrating easter any more. I enjoy having easter with my kids. We have always decorated eggs and did the whole easter egg hunt thing and got photos taken professionally of the kids in pretty matching dresses. Now he wants to take that away from us and replace it with something else. I don't know anything about passover but after he has passover he wants to do some other ritual religious holiday where we don't eat bread for a week or two. (forgot how long exactly he said it would be for).
Not eating bread doesn't sound like that big a deal to most. But I have IBS. For those of you who don't know what that is, its a digestive disorder. I cant eat that many different things. Bread makes up pretty much 80% of my diet. For me to not have bread is like telling a chicken it cant have anything other then grass to eat.
Long story cut short, this is driving a wedge between me and him. I'm growing resentment towards him and it gets worse by the day. We cant go a single day with out fighting any more. I don't know what to do about this situation any longer. I'm about to the point of leaving him.
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