Losing My Job

[bluesub]

Few things...

First, I have seen pictures of you, and you are pretty, so don't listen to your family.

Secondly, schooling or not, your boyfriend must be pretty smart to write a resignation letter for you and realize that you would not have been so polite in your letter. He sounds like a great friend, which is what you need.

You have your daughter, you take good care of her, you will figure out something to do but you need time to mourn - the loss of your husband, the loss of your former life, the loss of your baby, the loss of your job. You are right to seek counseling.

You can still volunteer your time to tutor or help out students in other ways.

You are strong, you have survived a lot in a short amount of time.

 

[Bunnylady]

Wow. You're really having one of those "the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-is-probably-a-train-coming-the-other-way" moments, aren't you?

I'm sorry that life is treating you so rough right now. I wish that I had some advice to give; or that I could think of something inspirational to say to lift your spirits. But right now, I'm so tired, I can barely get the screen to stay in focus. The best I can do is to say, hang in there, I care. I think you are a loving, lovable, caring, wonderful person, who absolutely deserves the best that life can give you. If the people who should care most about you can't see that, what's their problem?

 

[sourland]

Listen to bluesub, lighten up on yourself - you are a good person and we all support you. Get help, counseling, medication what ever is needed to get through this period of mourning. You are grieving - justifiably so given the past year. Take care of yourself.

 

[Chicks on DL]

We all have moments in our lives when seeking help is needed and warranted. No shame in that. Please don't be afraid to seek out help. I understand doubting decisions you have made that you feel have lead you to the place where you are and the feeling of being overwhelmed. I am so sorry for your losses. Have faith that things can only get better and embrace the good relationships with your boyfriend and daughter. When we are stressed we can sometimes lash out at the best people around us when we should take a deep breath and an embrace those relationships closer than ever. If you are a faithful person going to church may help as well.

 

[EweSheep]

I agree with all the posts above.

Rest!

Go ride!

Have fun with your DBF!

Have some mommy time with your DD!

Just say piss on all of them (the people that were unsupportive of you, family or school or both!) Yeah, I can be snarky too! Be lucky that your DBF is helping you thru this mess!

 

[michickenwrangler]

Thank you again everyone.

On Mother's Day, DBF's mom had a barbecue at her house, I spent some time talking with her which was helpful. She was a stay-at-home mom and reassured me that it won't be the end of the world being at home. She also said that she was really glad that her son had found me, which got me crying for an entirely different reason.

Had a pre-op appointment today but took the whole day off, so I got to ride, get cattle panels for my incoming goats, spent some quality time with DBF and and took a nap. I needed it.

 

[EweSheep]

 

[dianehodges]

Let them fire you and get a good attorney Nothing will happen over night Try to rest and be patient

 

[mixitup]

#1 judging by your comments, if you are on meds for depression-they are not working properly for you. Go back to the Dr until they get something that works for you. Not every med is for every person, and sometimes it takes a lot of time to find the correct meds for you.

#2, yes you need counselling to deal with the issues you have. Your biggest issue is that you are going through the anger phase of grieving. You are still mad at your husband for dying and leaving you. No matter what your issues with him when he was alive, you are having a hard time dealing with his death still. This is not unusual! Don't beat yourself up over it.

#3, you also need counsellin to deal with the death of your unborn child.

Take a breath, sit back and enjoy life over the summer-get out and do stuff. It will be a huge help on you mental health.

<<Well, seems like every decision I've made in life has been the wrong one: moving up north, going into teaching, staying in a relationship with a disabled disgruntled Vietnam Vet through my 20s when I should have been out having fun, etc... So I might as well just keep making wrong decisions and end up alone with whatever chickens don't get eaten by predators as it seems that this is what Fate is intending for me.>>

You have made some very good decisions, you just cannot see it yet. You moved away from negative people. (parents who compare you to a sibling), You love teaching, that much I can see from you writings. You supported someone you cared about rather than have a life of leisure when that person needed you. If your chickens get eaten by predators then you get new ones and continue on. It's all in the way you observe things, and right now you are observing life through clouded, depression filled eyes. These eyes have been filled with depression because of the past. Confront the past with the help of a counsellor and you will start to brighten. I know, I've been there-took me 32 years to get rid of the depression (not without a huge battle) and it's been taking me about 30 years to get rid of a lifestyle that I never should have gotten involved in in the first place. If you would like to PM me, I will tell you the whole sordid story, but remember this-there is always someone out there who has been through what you are going through, has been through worse, and they are still alive and kicking and making lemonade. You need to address the depression and get mentally healthy for your sake and your daughter's sake.

My two cents worth from someone who has been at the bottom of the barrel with the light too far away to see.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Going in for tubal ligation tomorrow