My brother is having his leg removed February 12th - Advice?

[jackiedon]

Emily,

I am so sorry for the situation your family is in and the problems are facing. I'm sure for him it would be better if they done it tomorrow. My cousin had his amputated just above the knee due to a tumor that was malignent in his foot. He was 15 at the time. They told him one day (when his parents were not there) and removed the leg the next day. He got a prosthethic as soon as possible. He probably did better with it than his parents did. We as family surrounded around him with love unfortunately parents just couldn't handle it at the time and went to drinking, drugs and partying. Some of us family and/or friends were just with him. On the weekends we took him with us to "hang out with friends" but we really didn't treat him any different and he did great until he graduated. He moved off and went with the ways of his parents.

Of course we lived in a small town. Every few weeks we would have local musical events at the school auditorium. There would be like a dollar admission so everyone who wanted to attend but then they would take an offering like at church and those who wanted to could give as they wanted.

I wish I lived close or I would help with the kids and let them play with the goats and ride the horse.

I do know your area but most hospitals have patient/family representative (some are called other things) who help with families matters and other things including support groups for patients and families. Also if you think your brother is not getting the care he needs they help with that too.

Please know my prayers are with you and your family. Please keep us posted!!! We are family here and we really do care about each other.

Jackie

 

[NiftyChick]

You are all so wonderful! You've given me some ideas I hadn't thought of for fundraising and for supporting my brother. He's 27, by the way.

As far as family & friends, he's kind of already pushed my parents away as he's been dealing with things since the accident, but hopefully will welcome association again with them while he goes through this new transition period. He now has an on-and-off relationship with his girlfriend of 13+ years (currently off I think) and beyond me (and my girls), there is just one other person - an amazing older friend/roomate who has been an incredible support and caretaker. There are many people from our church who would like to reach out to him, but as yet, he will only welcome written correspondence from them.

I visited Scott tonight and he's still having a hard time processing/accepting what's happening to him, but I think he's managing alright for the time being.

We found out Ronald McDonald Houses can only be used by family of children under 18, but they are a nice resource! Kiwanis appears to only be in Sacramento.

Anyway, I'll be calling the hospital tomorrow to ask some of the questions suggested.

Thank you for the shared stories of hope and support. Many of you have done some amazing things!

I've been amazed and excited by all the technological advances in prosthetics and hope they will work well for Scott.

Keep the ideas coming! I'll let you know how things go!

Em

 

[bantymum]

Oh Emily, This must be very traumatic for him.
Will there be any possibility of a prosthetic limb for him, Ive seen young children use them with great success.
Perhaps reiterate that he is lucky to be here after the horrible accident, and he is.
He can hide the new limb in winter! but it will take time to adjust, perhaps he will now be pain free at last and that is a good thing.
My prayers are coming across the sea to him and to you.
Let us know how he goes.
Ill be thinking of you all week.

 

[carugoman]

Email me,we can exchange phone numbers,Emily. My left leg was amputated BKA five years ago this month. I had been shot,while in the military,back in 1992...I guess somebody didn't appreciate my work? That really ruined my dinner plans? I had a compound fracture-broken in 23 places...when I looked down at my foot,there was my heel;I knew that the rest of the day wouldn't be a peach? I had one of those Hoffman devices around my leg with 14 /8mm pins running through and through. I suffered through no fewer than 38 operations to fix this or that...internal fixation,2 bone grafts,skin graft,cadaver grafts...you name it it's probably in my medical records. All I ended up with is pain,suffering and osteomyelitis.

Having the amputation did save my life though. As my osteo-surgeon put it,"Cut the branch and save the tree!" Ask your brother this simple question? Is it a good leg or a bad leg? The hardest thing for me to do was to look at that doctor square in the eye and tell him to cut off my leg! It's one thing to have an accident,wake up and find your leg gone but quite another when you consciously have to tell someone to take your leg. If it seems that I'm being harsh and unsympathetic...I am,but I am not,all the same.

Life after amputation? Make it what you want;you're not dead yet? I bought a farm,built a house and got married this past November.

There are some negatives...like when your toes start itching and you realize...no prosthesis;no walk. After the novelty wears off,wheelchairs really do SUCK!

Like I said from the beginning,Email me so we can talk...I have plenty of anytime minutes.

All y'all take care!

 

[dlhunicorn]

http://www.ossur.com/pages/3377
(If your brother has access to computer this link seems like one that he might find interesting)

http://www.csulb.edu/~rreis/Prosthetics.htm
Advancements in Prosthetics
A very nice little page (with a review on the above site and a couple other interesting news items)) from a student Journal from the Univ. of CA

http://www.amputee-coalition.org/nllic_about.html
National Limb Loss Information Center
The National Limb Loss Information Center (NLLIC) provides comprehensive resources for people with limb loss, as well as their families, friends, and the health care professionals involved in their lives. NLLIC is operated by the Amputee Coalition of America (ACA), a national, nonprofit organization representing amputees, their families and healthcare providers.

We provide answers to questions on such topics as: technology and prosthetics, consumer rights, funding & agency resources, family & parenting, educational & vocational issues, sports, recreation & travel, statistical & research information, health & disability groups, rehabilitative & prosthetic services, state & federal agencies, and peer support.

(page with links to the resource center)

http://www.americanamputee.org/library/resources.aspx

 

[gritsar]

Emily -

I don't want this to sound self-serving, but I just wanted to add this to all the others. My ex husband is a triple amputee, having lost both legs and his right arm when he stepped on a booby trap in Vietnam. He is my ex-husband for alot of good reasons, but he is still a very remarkable man. He has a book out about his life and how he has made it a successful and happy one despite his injuries. It's called 'So You Think Times Are Tough', by James "Butch" Robbins. You can find it at Books-A-Million's website. There may be other sources of it as well.
Beyond that, I'd like to light a candle for your brother and your family on February 12th; if that's alright with you.

Take Care, Kat

 

[NiftyChick]

Thank you all so much for your helpful information, words of advice, encouragment and love! And thank you to those of you offering thoughts and prayers in my brother's behalf! What a wonderful group this is!

I'm driving down to West Hollywood tomorrow w/the girls and my mom (dad is already there). I'm borrowing a Playstation for my brother to use in the hospital - thank you to whoever suggested a game system! - and bringing pictures of the girls with my brother to display in his room. I found a nice hotel close to the hospital for a great deal through the hospital's website - thank you to those who suggested that! We also set up a donation fund for Scott and he already has thousands of dollars in donations in it! We'll probably still need more, so a spaghetti feed or another type of fundraising dinner as suggested may be a good idea. It's so exciting to be making a difference and to have so many good ideas/options to help where I wasn't sure what to do!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I've been a bit distracted getting things set up for my brother and planning our trip so I haven't been great at getting back to people, but I'll follow up on the other things suggested and I'll let you all know how things go on Tuesday.

-Emily

 

[cockadoodlemom]

I am so glad the others had info for you. I can only tell you that I will be praying for your brother, you and your family.

 

[jab91864]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Julie

 

[sunnychooks]

My thoughts and prayers are with your brother, you and your family.
There are a number of civic organisations that may be able to help financially. I belong to an Italian American Club that holds fundraisers for people in the community who need help. We normally have spaghetti dinners or pancake breakfasts. Many businesses in the community help by donating food or items to these events. If you contact some of these civic groups, they may be able to help your brother.