O.O I think I got claimed!- Constructive criticism on my singing?

[kargo]

This is the conversation I had with my choir teacher, with the conversation with my aunt pasted in. I don't mean to sound disrespectful of my aunt or my grandmother. I want you all to know, though, that this grandmother told me to leave singing to the talented people.
Me:

"

Today
8:46pmMy aunt

Did you go down to Grandma's and sing today?
8:47pmMe

Not today. Maybe tomorrow?
8:47pmMy aunt

Why not?
8:48pmMe

Ummmm, because I'm a chicken?
8:48pmMy aunt

that's ridiculous
8:49pmMe

I know. Tell me about it.
8:49pmMy aunt

Your grandmothers love you more than anybody, except God and your MOm. They WANT you to do well.
8:49pmMe

?
8:49pmMy aunt

well if you want to be a better singer, then you know what to do.

they would love to help you.
8:49pmMe

?

Really?
8:50pmMy aunt

what does the ? mean.

Kara you know that is true.
8:50pmMe

I'm too chicken,

but, of course it's true....
8:51pmMy aunt

well you have 2 choices. Sit at home and never learn to sing. or Go learn to sing. Whining doesn't help. Choose.
8:52pmMe

I can't go tomorrow, I don't think.
8:52pmMy aunt

well start figuring out when you can go. I think Grandma's schedule is fairly open.
8:53pmMe

Yeah, mine's a little busy.....
8:54pmMy aunt

well It's YOUR choice.
8:54pmMe

I know. But....I'm sort of busy.
8:54pmMy aunt

Did you get a job.
8:55pmMe

Uh......not yet.
8:55pmMy aunt

what are you busy doing?

schools out
8:55pmMe

Summer reading. Plus, my throat is killing me lately.
8:56pmMy aunt

Summer reading can stop anytime you want it to.
8:56pmMe

Not if I want to fail class before it's started. "

She keeps telling me to practice with my grandmother, but I don't want to! My grandmother told me to let my aunt sing, why would I want to sing with her? I've been trying to work on my voice and stuff, but i really dont[ want to do it with my grandmother....
_______________________________________________________
Choir teacher
Tell her you already have a voice teacher - me.


________________________
I feel claimed now. I thought it was pretty awesome my choir teacher referred to herself as my voice teacher. She said this the other day-"You did very well! Yes, I think you could do a solo. If I had the time right now, I'd love to work with your voice a little!" Apparently, I can sing on my own. Without a choir. Blows my mind. I'd need work first, but I think it's really neat that my choir teacher wants to help me.

 

[redhen]

Your aunts just trying to help you out. And i think that you know that..
So whats the problem?? I dont get it...

YOu must be saying something to them to make them want to help you?? If you dont want their help..stop whining..just like your aunt said...

 

[kargo]

My aunt and grandmother are from my dad's side of the family. They've been nasty to us since my dad passed away last January.

Well, I mean, my choir teacher knows I like to sing....it's not that I don't want help. It's that I don't want my grandmother's or my aunt's. I mean, they're nice and all (sometimes), but I don't feel comfortable with them. I've been practicing with my choir teacher for years. I know her better.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Thats not what i meant..
What i meant was...
The reason that your aunt/grandma are trying to help you is: You must be saying things to them to make them feel bad for you and want to help you....
Thats why they are trying to help you....
If you dont want their help... stop telling them about your singing. Then you wont have any problems with them wanting to help you out.....
it will make your life much easier..

 

[sourland]

There's a big difference between helping and criticizing. It also sounds as if judgementalism also enters from many sides. Stick with your choir teacher. Sadly enough you can pick your friends and associates but not your family.

 

[kargo]

Quote:
Yeah, I think that would be best, too, honestly.

 

[pdsavage]

I aviod family,they think they have a right to talk to you anway they want because they are family.
Hun its your choice to sing with whom you feel comfortable with.

 

[kargo]

Quote:
Yeah, I don't think I do feel comfortable singing in front of her. I'm going to try and let them know that in a nice way.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Talk to your choir teacher. Ask her how you can improve your singing, exercises you can do, and what you should avoid doing. Unless your grandmother or aunt is a voice teacher or professionally trained, chances are pretty high that your choir director knows a great deal more about training you, As was said, stop talking to your relatives about how you want to improve your singing. Instead, if you choose, you can say that you are taking voice lessons and working on improving your singing.

In other words, don't imply that you need help, specifically state that you are already working on it. Do thank them for the offer, but rather than avoiding an answer, tell them that you are already taking lessons. Regardless of whether the lessons you are getting from your choir director are formal or informal, she IS teaching you; you do not have to tell them that it is an informal arrangement (assuming that it is) if you do not want--in fact, it might be better to not say that.

I am sorry that you feel like they are being nasty to you since your Dad died--people deal with grief in many ways that can be difficult for others to understand. I know you lost your Dad, and your Mom her husband. But they lost a son and a brother.

 

[kargo]

Quote:
I think that's what I'll do. The kicker? I'm going back to school tomorrow to sing for my choir teacher's daughter.