Opinions please .

[gabrielle1976]

My sister and I dont get along as well as I would like. Our relationship is pretty much one you would have with a super casual aqantance . I am pretty shure she dosnt like me . THat being said I love my sister and I love my nieces and I want to spend time with them. Every friday we go over and spend a few hours with the girls while there parents are working.This is aswome but heres the thing . Her duaghters and My son want to have sleep overs with each other. They want to go to the park together and go swimming you know stuff like that. But my sister refuses to let them spend the night with me she says its cuase I have birds and she wont let my son spend the night wont say why. THey can go over ot the other aunties house and spend the night whenever, That auntie can spend the night at there house. As irratateing as this double standerd is for me thats fine im a big girl but my son dosnt understand. At seven he is old enough to know that certain rules like not spending the night or going and doing stuff only applies to us and he dosnt understand. If I ask my sister she gets all defensive or lies and makes exscuses. Like we were gonna do the libary thing today and I asked her if the girls could could .. No she tells me there dad is getting off work early and takeing them swimming . Talked to the girls .. Nope dads at work they have been sitting at the house all day doing nothing. Another thing my sister had a weeks vacation. My son is always begging to spend time with her as well and she allways says she cant cuase she has to work. But they went to the mall and swimming and all sorts of stuff on her vacation but she never spent time with him.
Am I being over senstive here.? Does anyone have any ideas at all. Id like my son to have a better relationship with his aunt and Id like to have a better one with my niecees and I just dont undertand the problem. SHe can let her kids spend the night with there friends in homes she has never been to around people she has never met but not with us. It dosnt make any sense to me at all..

 

[HeatherLynn]

I have siblings like that. It might be the wrong thing to do but I just explained it straight up to mine. They thought it stunk a bit but were not terribly upset. Probably because I was just matter of fact about it and explained that sometimes its just like that with family. But that we could also choose special friends as family too and family you choose are much nicer. I just explained its nothing they did and nothing really mommy did. Just their aunts and uncles were upset when I was born and they just never got over it. My oldest said that was sad and then wanted to know who we were going to adopt first.

Its easier if you can divorce some of your feelings from family that is like this. Its really not worth constant hurt to you or your son.

 

[sfw2]

I have siblings like that. It might be the wrong thing to do but I just explained it straight up to mine. They thought it stunk a bit but were not terribly upset. Probably because I was just matter of fact about it and explained that sometimes its just like that with family. But that we could also choose special friends as family too and family you choose are much nicer. I just explained its nothing they did and nothing really mommy did. Just their aunts and uncles were upset when I was born and they just never got over it. My oldest said that was sad and then wanted to know who we were going to adopt first.

Its easier if you can divorce some of your feelings from family that is like this. Its really not worth constant hurt to you or your son.

Excellent advice. Channel your energy into spending time with the family and friends who DO appreciate you!

 

[MeatKing]

We sort've have the same thing in my family...

My mom will take my two girls ages 6.5 and alomst 4 now..

She won't take my sisters son age almost 6 and says it cause he's two young
truth is, he's a boy, my mom raised all girls.. She finds him loud, unable to sit still/ follow directions.. Takes much longer to get tired.. ect. All things boys really are at that age

I can only deal with him for a few hours time, before I feel annoyed, although I do take him..

I have been given only girls, their loud shreaks make me laugh and smile.. A group of super loud girls, no problem.. A group of boys being boys, I'd probley start to bite my nails..

Was a a friends house, her son and another boy, were sitting on each other faces and farting? It's a boy thing

I hope this is whats going on there for you!! Nobodys fault!! But when she has teenage girls, you will sit back and laugh... And realize it was worth it, for you have a boy.. Whom are way nicer teenages I hear!!

 

[gabrielle1976]

That could be part of it now that I think about it. My son has add and is extreamly sweet but never holds still EVER. As a single mom I guess I have just gotton use to it. but your right lol her girls are 11 and 13 in nov lol give it another year or so and Ill be sitting back luaghing. Ill take farting (whats up with that anyways lol) bugs , lizards, snakes, fish , frogs , and the inablity to sit still over mood swings, pms, and DRAMA .. Omg I coudnt stand teenage female drama even when I was a teen my friends were all boys or in there 20s cuase I coudnt stand the little back stabbing , screaming , DRAMATIC teenage girls . I use to call them the gaggles of giggleing girls .. coudnt stand it

 

[MeatKing]

Ah, I'm glad that made sense to you!! Doesn't make it any easier now though!

You didn't like those gigling girls? I was one of those

I guess that why, you got a boy and I got a girl!!

Take your boy out, for some fun boy stuff!! I don't know what that is

 

[LuvTheFarm]

Totally agree with the gender difference - my daughter is quiet and mostly obedient - my husband tolerates her very well. My son is a typical boy - my husbands tolerance - right out the window! I would not trade either of them for anything in the world though - they are both independant and thinkers. I love their differences as much as their similarities. I have seen many people react to the restless activity of boys though - there is alot of merit in that point that many of these previous posts have described!

 

[redhen]

Thats really weird! The only thing that comes to my mind is that there may be "something" in your life that she doesnt agree with... somethng that she doesnt want her kids around? Or something like that..
I would come right out and simply ask her what the problem is? Sometimes thats what it takes to get a situation resolved..
Best of luck!

 

[gabrielle1976]

Thats really weird! The only thing that comes to my mind is that there may be "something" in your life that she doesnt agree with... somethng that she doesnt want her kids around? Or something like that..
I would come right out and simply ask her what the problem is? Sometimes thats what it takes to get a situation resolved..
Best of luck!

I use to do things that she defiently didnt aprove of when I was young 16-21 but I have long since grown up. I have asked her flat out a few times she usualy hedges and dosnt answer. She some times comments on how I was always our mothers favorit and spoiled. I think part of the problem may be that she is still liveing in the past. I didnt make my mom treat me diffrently then her. I had no say in it. I was physically abbused at school , injured and had surgry sevral times and had all around bad luck. She was never in the hospital or had any surgry or broken bones till she was an adult I on the other hand had something every year it seemed thats why mom treated us diffrent. Id trade her if I could she could be the smootherd over protected spoiled child and I could be the healthy never haveing surgry or almsot dying , abused , learning disabled child I woudnt mind that trade at all. SIgh. She is never going to tell me what is really the problem and thats frustrateing but I can live with it . But I miss my nieces and so does my son and my son desprately wants to be a part of my sisters life I wish she would put her big girl panties on and suck it up and love him and spend time with him is it really to much to ask for a family member to spend a couple hours a month even with a little one that worships themand misses them.

 

[HeatherLynn]

Its going to come down to jealousy from the sounds of it and that is not easily taken care of. I have similar issues with my siblings. I wasn't spoiled but our parents were better off and not struggling when I was little. Generally if you didn't do anything to cause the problem there is little you can do to fix it. I have tried and given up. I 'divorced' a sibling it was so bad. I would just encourage time with other kids and adopt some extra family. No point trying so hard and then having your son hurt by the rebuff. Just my take on it.