OVERWHELMED with CRAaaaaaap!!!!

[tabsmonsters]

Oh goodie, a post where I can whine!

Here goes:

Dh is in CA doing training then off to HI for a month or so and then off to Afganistan. I can't call him right now as he is in the field unless its an emergency.

I just found out my dad had a staph infection in his knee and spent a few days in the hospital LAST MONTH! My aunt had to have her gall bladder removed. Now my stepdad is in the hospital with possible lung cancer. I feel I need to be there to visit with him and help my mom out but I can't use the military flight to go there AND use it to go to HI to spend 10 days with DH before he deploys. I can't afford the $5k it would cost me and the kids to fly to the U.S., the kids will be in school so I can't just yank em out and stay in the states while DH is gone. We don't know yet how bad the cancer is and what kind of treatment if any he would have. So I am trying to figure out how to visit DH in HI, see my stepdad and not have the kids miss a buttload of school. Then add to that the daily crap I have to do here, our Cub Scout Pack will be starting activities up again here soon and I have to figure all that stuff out. I am seriously stressing out to the max! Oh and I just plunked down a nice chunk of change for a place to stay in HI that is nonrefundable if I cancel after Sept 3 and DH wont be out of the field until after that.

I am not good at making decisions on my own because I can't think of every possible angle and it frustrates me I can't talk to DH. Not visiting him in HI is not really an option because he has been gone since the beginning of this month and his deployment time (7months) doesnt start until he gets there so it could be 10-11 months before we would see him if we don't go to HI. I am anxious about this deployment because it has been 5 yrs since our last one and it was a 6 mo. one so this one will be longer. Some days I don't feel strong enough to handle it all and just want to curl up and cry. But like a good military wife, I will just pull up my big girl panties, have a few stiff drinks and carry on!

Thanks for letting me vent, I feel a little better now. I know my problems don't compare to others and I try to remember that others have it much worse that I do. But sometimes its nice to just worry about my problems sometimes. KWIM?

 

[Cindiloohoo]

tabsmonsters~ BLESS YOUR HEART!!!! I can't even imagine being without DH that long! Thank you, for YOUR service, which is wrapped up in his service. What a tough situation!! Your immediate family, DH and kiddos, is of the utmost importance. Your step dad would not want you there if you have to sacrifice THAT much to get there. Your husband needs you. Your stepdad has HIS wife there by his side, be there with him through your mom, and carry on with your plans with your husband. Will be praying for you AND your family hun! Take care, and let us know how things turn out. You can ALWAYS vent here! I do

BYC therapy!!!!

These folks here are GREAT!

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

tabsmonsters, that sounds like a lot. I will tell you though, that even if you don't make it to HI, you all will survive the 10 or 11 months apart. My DH is in his 8th month in afghanistan, with 3 or 4 more left, and I'm stuck at home, barely making ends meet with 3 kids... and I am (somehow) surviving! I have faith that you can too. good luck making decisions.

 

[gallinamama]

I am not even going to weigh in... I am so sorry all of you are going through such hard times... God bless you all... reading your stories makes my misery feel small. you all should be so proud of one thing... you are all very strong people...and you will come through this on top!!

 

[chickensioux]

Quote:
X2 Hope things start to look up for all of you. I don't have a complaint big enough to mention..... Good thoughts for you all.

 

[Mattemma]

Hugs for all those going through stressors.

My week started out pretty darn crappy and all on MONDAY. First had to take ds's summer friend home,and it is NOT a good home ife.Really wanted to keep the boy with us,but can only pray he is safe until we can get him again in the summer. Once I got home I noticed my 13 week old roo was acting a bit off.I brought him inside since I have 6 teens in a small space.He died that night.While he was dying the water tank flooded the house.I was washing a lot because someone gave us LICE. I shut off the water and gas,but the water keeps leaking out the tank,and the gas starts leaking out another area.So I call the fire dept. to come shut off the gas.I got the water off at the house main.After they leave is when the roo died. Dh is out of the country for another week. The *I told you so* just doesn't cut it even though I have been bugging him to years to replace this 20+year old tank before it broke.

Got no money.Got no plumber.I took my elderly neighbor some eggs and asked for a plumber.He got 2 of his friends over and one replcaed the tank yesterday.Cost me about all we had in the checking,so I have to use a darn credit card just to buy food.Now my body is acting up.Who can afford to get sick these days?Praying my body heals itself as I can not deal with the big C if my suspisions are right.
Aside from the roo and the health issues I just sigh and fix/clean up the other stuff.Worry about my summer boy wishing I could adopt him.Dh will be home soon and he can deal with the stuff breaking.I hate the required *get a few prices*. I just want to pay and fix the stuff.Yea, I am proably a dream come true for people who want to pad their wallets.

One thing that did crack up(now not then)was I decided to trim my hair after finding lice on the boys(despite a doctors nay-say).I shaved the boys. I figured the longest comb setting will give me a nice short hair style.Well I just about cut all my hair off.Can't leave one spot super short so I just went ahead and cut it all.Kids had fun calling me *dad*. Ah well the hair will grow back! I just cover my head.

Try not to stress to much. I cried a bit when it all piled up,but pulled myself together and kept chugging along.

I never realised how much I would miss the water when I shut it down for 2 days. It was so nice to be able to wash hands and shower!

 

[WingingIt]

Quote:
Fellow military wife here, so hope you don't mind if I jump in. DH's last deployment was 15 months and that was after being gone for a month across the country for training, so I feel for you. Here's what I'd do. Use the time to see DH (and Hawaii, which is beautiful). Once DH deploys he'll be receiving combat pay, family separation pay and the tax benefits for being overseas deployed which will add a nice chunk to his paychecks. Save that money and use it to go see step-dad after his testing has been completed and you know the plan for treatment. That will give them time to plan for the future (medical treatment-wise) and will give you time to save the money to go see him. Should be a nice pick-me-up for all of you by that time. Perhaps you can plan the trip to coincide with a break (or at least a long weekend) at school so it will minimize the days they have to miss. I can tell you this, any school affiliated with military families are normally pretty darned understanding when kids have to miss for deployment stuff. You can ask for the classwork and homework to be given to you ahead of time and you can work on before you leave or while you are gone and that way they won't be behind.

 

[Mattemma]

Quote:
Believe me, it's been considered and discussed (and will be again). She is ADAMANT that she does not want to go into a home. :

My moms friend moved into a senoir apartment setting.Hated it at first,but really likes having people of the same age around.She might like this type of setting.

 

[tabsmonsters]

Thanks everyone!

Things don't look so bleak right now. Stepdad is getting released to go home. He has stage 4 lung cancer so it isn't great news but at least I have some time before I need to go there. My dh called me today and we had a nice chat. Looks like we get an extra 5 days in HI!

This isn't my first deployment by any means but it will be the longest and so much has happened already. Its just more difficult since family is so much further away. We already have a plan for the extra pay-we want to buy 100 acres when we leave here and have to have a down pymnt. His Marine Corps retirement is just around the corner as well so we are planning for that. There is just so much stuff and my brain can't keep up. He is really good with that stuff and remembering things.

Some days don't feel like much of a sacrifice and I enjoy his choice of career. But sometimes, I want to be able to go visit my mom for a day or have the kids growing up around their cousins. I really miss having my chickens and my dog here. But it's only temporary, so I can endure.

Just an aside: I thought about smuggling some chickens here on base if I could even find any and I found out there is a specific rule against having any livestock on base, including chickens! That tells me someone at some point tried to do that! I don't think anyone would notice a pet hen or two, right?

 

[Iluvmypeeps]

My golly, you poor people! You all have had some really crappy days.

Wishing everyone a better day today.