This will require much prayer, but God is your Advocate and your Defender. Is a mediator an option? A friend of mine used to provide services as a mediator, he wasn't an attorney ... more like a middle-man/ counselor. It would give you a safe, neutral ground to express your disappointment with this pastor's, er, shenanigans (sorry, not the best word) and try to come to a mutual agreement. Not sure where you would find one. I think my friend used to advertise in the Yellow Pages. Maybe your pastor could help you find one?They go to a different church and are actually a pastor, which is what seems so wrong. They tried to get us to mediate with our pastor, but they said they'd asked our pastor and they didn't. Our pastor, hearing of this, said that they never talked to him and he didn't want to be stuck in the middle.