So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[chilling in muscadine]

You will have to tell your husband to calm down. There is no way for you to be calm if he isn't. Been doing this cancer thing for 2 years 4 months now. I will not allow any negative things around me. With Cancer it is always hurry up and wait. I have found out how bad it is on our loved ones. They just can't handle it. If I want to clear a room I start talking about cancer. Works everytime. Tell your husband he has to do a 3 60 and be the strong one. If he can't do it find someone else to make the many drives you will have for appointsments. Need more info come here. we find ourselves to be specialist. I got help to deal with the county mental health center center since my family would not help me talk about it at home. Mine is very good and the visit is just 8 dollars and well worth it.Finally I know what slow down and smell the roses means now, WOW
Prayers for all of you.

S@R@

 

[CoyoteMagic]

I hate to post this after seeing Sara's post. Love ya, Sara! You have come so far.
************************************************************************************************************
I had a melt down today. I've have been going through these periods of breathlessness, of being dizzy, of strange tinglyness (is that a word?) starting in the center of my chest and radiating out my arms to my fingers, my legs to my toes and up into my head to where I can't focus, remember anything, then being totally exhausted, of being totally unhappy, of breaking out in tears at just a look, of having my "Give-a-dam" busted. I don't know if it's all related, maybe things all piling up, things shooting here there and everywhere!

Please, PLEASE, PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't think that I am giving up. HELL-NO!! Do NOT think that I'm looking for a way to "check-out" early, I've got way too much I still want to see and do before I'm done on this side of the grave.

Problem is, I just don't have the "umph" to get my butt in gear and get it done. Who I am right now is NOT, who I really am. Now I am weak, I don't know how to get out of where I am, I break down into to tears if I misunderstand something Lurchie says to me, so gentle , so kind trying to help me when even I don't know what I need help with..I keep telling him it's me not him trying some how to remove HIS fear. I am Afraid! I just don't Care!

It's all these dang drugs that I am on!!! 600mg Neurotin 4x's day Oxicodone every 4 if needed, Marinol 3x's a day, some thing for my thyroid, blood pressure, stomach issues, asthma drugs, allergy meds, meds to protect my kidneys from all the other drugs!! OOOOO look a NEW ONE!!! Larazepam!!! I don't want this thing that is going to bring me down even further than I am. I need something to lift me up and get me moving. Something that will help me get rid of all this other stuff. Most of this stuff does noting but cloud my brain which leaves me on the outside tooking down over my life, not being a part of it.

I need to get rid of all these things. I've gotten rid of the Zanaflex for about a week now. I'm not sleeping all day long now. NOW to get rid of the rest of this stuff.

How do I get off this stuff and still be able Function? Without Killing myself? I need something witl give me that little boost that I need to get on with my plans. Sitting here in this recliner on this laptop aren't part of it of my plan!! I need OUT of this bubble that has become my head!!!

I wanna new drug!!!

 

[#1California Chick]

I hate to post this after seeing Sara's post. Love ya, Sara! You have come so far.
************************************************************************************************************
I had a melt down today. I've have been going through these periods of breathlessness, of being dizzy, of strange tinglyness (is that a word?) starting in the center of my chest and radiating out my arms to my fingers, my legs to my toes and up into my head to where I can't focus, remember anything, then being totally exhausted, of being totally unhappy, of breaking out in tears at just a look, of having my "Give-a-dam" busted. I don't know if it's all related, maybe things all piling up, things shooting here there and everywhere!

Please, PLEASE, PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't think that I am giving up. HELL-NO!! Do NOT think that I'm looking for a way to "check-out" early, I've got way too much I still want to see and do before I'm done on this side of the grave.

Problem is, I just don't have the "umph" to get my butt in gear and get it done. Who I am right now is NOT, who I really am. Now I am weak, I don't know how to get out of where I am, I break down into to tears if I misunderstand something Lurchie says to me, so gentle , so kind trying to help me when even I don't know what I need help with..I keep telling him it's me not him trying some how to remove HIS fear. I am Afraid! I just don't Care!

It's all these dang drugs that I am on!!! 600mg Neurotin 4x's day Oxicodone every 4 if needed, Marinol 3x's a day, some thing for my thyroid, blood pressure, stomach issues, asthma drugs, allergy meds, meds to protect my kidneys from all the other drugs!! OOOOO look a NEW ONE!!! Larazepam!!! I don't want this thing that is going to bring me down even further than I am. I need something to lift me up and get me moving. Something that will help me get rid of all this other stuff. Most of this stuff does noting but cloud my brain which leaves me on the outside tooking down over my life, not being a part of it.

I need to get rid of all these things. I've gotten rid of the Zanaflex for about a week now. I'm not sleeping all day long now. NOW to get rid of the rest of this stuff.

How do I get off this stuff and still be able Function? Without Killing myself? I need something witl give me that little boost that I need to get on with my plans. Sitting here in this recliner on this laptop aren't part of it of my plan!! I need OUT of this bubble that has become my head!!!

I wanna new drug!!!

Coyote

You have come SOOOO far and you are such a compassionate person!!! I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering so!! I wish I had the answer for you!

Just know that there are MANY people who read this thread and who are CHEERING YOU ON everyday!!! You are allowed to vent -- and I hope that it helps!

I am praying for better days for you soon!!

Love

Cindy

 

[redhen]

Oh, Cindi... i so wish i could take it all away for you..
I'm so sorry.. it hurts my heart.
Maybe you can talk with your DR about weening off of some of the meds?? Somehow??...
I dont know...
We love you and are here..

 

[#1California Chick]

I wanna new drug!!!

Coyote

I just checked out the YouTube connection!!! GREAT!!! And it was shot in San Francisco!! YEP - you need a new drug!!

Cindy

 

[deerman]

Cindi you hang in there, know what you mean about all the meds, sometime feel like i just need a plate of pills for supper.

 

[stargazingmommy]

I never noticed this thread before but wow...I see it on a night I really need it.
My husband of 9 months has chronic myelogenous leukemia. He was diagnosed just about three months ago.
last September at his physical the labs showed a high white count. Not to horrible at 13. So his doc did drags a UA and blood cultures looking for an infection. Nothing.repeat the CBC a week later. It was 22. Kept checking and after a month sent him to a hemotologist. When he looked at the labs he was somewhat reassuring, telling us there was nothing that screamed cancer .. bunch more testing and the test for the Philadelphia gene came back positive. So they did a bone marrow biopsy. So, no doubt now. They ordered one Med which our insurance denied. They approved it on appeal, but our cost would be almost $3000 a month, better than the $9000 without insurance I guess.
At this point we went to the VA and applied. On learning the diagnosis and his diagnosis of Parkinson's they immediately approved him for medical benefits. He is a Vietnam vet and agent orange has been linked to both. I think a blessing in disguise ...
So that's the back story. He's now on gleevac and feels worse than he did before (he had no symptoms ) and his wbc last week was 68.2.
A year ago he had two brain surgeries to fix an aneurysm. 6 wks later they diagnosed Parkinson's.
and now this.
I've taken to soaking in a hot bath several days a week so I can cry where no one knows.
Its been a whole lifestyle change, especially trying to keep him from getting sick(kids in germ factories aka school, I'm a nurse, life in general ).
The kids are having issues with this part mostly, despite being a teen doesn't get why I say no your friend with a cold can't come over even if it's not real bad and please try to avoid anyone obviously sick.

One of the things the doc said was no fresh fruit and veggies because of risk of bacterial contamination. I'm learning how to grow a garden so we will know where the food comes from.
Its things like that that just seem to build up and send me into tears.

He seems and says he is ok with it all. He says at 67 he's already lived most of his life and what will be will be. I tell him I'm not ready to be a widow at 38 and wont even be ready at 50.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Cindi you hang in there, know what you mean about all the meds, sometime feel like i just need a plate of pills for supper.

I know!! I have weekly pill containers, you know those things you put old people's meds in so they can remember if they too the days meds?? They work for people with chemo brain too!! I have 3 of them, Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner!!! All filled with the pills I need to take a those times. Only reason I don't have one for dinner time is because I can't find another color so I know which is which!

THANKS EVERYBODY!!!!! I needed to release all of that which has been building up for sooooooooooo long. Poor Lurchie thinks I've gone off the deep-end and doesn't know where the LIVESAVER ring is to throw to me. I couldn't have been more blessed having him by my side through all of this. I was Crazy when he met me, but lately I have been just plain WHACKO!!

Ok, I had my hissy fit, will probably have many more along the way, BUT from now on I'm back on track. I need ya'lls help! I need to pull on all my friends who are knowledgable in the power of plants, herbs, minerals----sticks and stones are going to fix my bones, er, body!! lol
I need to learn and re-learn about all the of those things out there that are natual to get me to where I need to be. Herbal and crystal medicines, diets to get all the crud out of my stystem, Don't tell me to go Vegan, because I could eat half a cow right now! I am Carnivore hear me Roar!!! I need to learn execises that will clear the crap from mind and body as well. But Spiritually my beliefs are strong, I just need to dance under the moon more often.

SOOOOooooooooo What have you got for me???!!!

 

[3goodeggs]

I have been a bit under the weather lately, and have spent the time surfing netflix.
I was amazed by and am still thinking about two documentaries,' Fat sick and nearly dead', and' Fork over knife'.
I think my immune system could use a reboot and I am gearing up for doing a ten day juice fast as soon as the garden can support it.
It is expensive to eat healthy, but it is also expensive to be sick.

I did the anti Candida diet for three weeks and that helped my allergies a lot. It got rid of the migraines. That alone was worth living without apples.

I wish I could help CM. I imagine the place you get in is hellish. The meds frap our systems. I tried to wean myself off of the allergy meds this year, but guess what? The pollens are still out there. Singlair was the best med that I stoped taking. If you can just get off of that one your depression will lighten considerably. It has a black label warning on it. I never would have started if I had known.

Did you have a nice birthday this year Luna? First one since college that you weren't busy filing extensions?

 

[broodytood]

I followed 'Forks Over Knives' and lost 30 pounds. I'm trying to reboot my hormones.
I did a saliva test that showed my estrogen(the bad kind) was way high which induces the kind of cancer I have according to my dr.
I'll have to watch the other one.
I have 8-9 more rads treatments(I've lost track) and then 7 more smaller treatments to the tumor bed area only.

Hang in there everybody! I'm praying for you.

I have been a bit under the weather lately, and have spent the time surfing netflix.
I was amazed by and am still thinking about two documentaries,' Fat sick and nearly dead', and' Fork over knife'.
I think my immune system could use a reboot and I am gearing up for doing a ten day juice fast as soon as the garden can support it.
It is expensive to eat healthy, but it is also expensive to be sick.

I did the anti Candida diet for three weeks and that helped my allergies a lot. It got rid of the migraines. That alone was worth living without apples.

I wish I could help CM. I imagine the place you get in is hellish. The meds frap our systems. I tried to wean myself off of the allergy meds this year, but guess what? The pollens are still out there. Singlair was the best med that I stoped taking. If you can just get off of that one your depression will lighten considerably. It has a black label warning on it. I never would have started if I had known.

Did you have a nice birthday this year Luna? First one since college that you weren't busy filing extensions?