The Dave Leghorn Story~ A Murder Mystery of Epically Punny Proportions

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World famous chef... Mr. Cook A Doddle... is offering his culinary expertise free of charge for the honorary dinner for the residents of Hicks... he has said that he will not be offering roost chicken on the menu.
 
World famous chef Mr. Cook A Doodle is guaranteeing there is no chicken in his menu. However, having been trained in the famous Cordon Poulet school of fine cuisine in the famed city of Coq au Vin, located in the Applesauce Lorraine region of France, he only knows how to prepare chicken flavored dishes. Therefore he has promised to only use carefully selected vegetarian chicken flavored replacement ingredients. He promises the meal will be memorable and will live up to the highest four star standards worthy of the Michelin Tire Guide.







 



***THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS GRAPHIC PHOTOS*** Photos may not be suitable for young readers

Authorities, lead by information from Norm Masque, the raccoon accused of tampering with school lunches, have discovered a chicken nugget processing plant within Hick County. Norm Masque, pictured below upon capture, has been cooperative with authorities in exchange for a reduced sentence and protection.




The scene was gruesome. Even well seasoned officers often had to excuse themselves they were so upset or ill when they discovered the processing plant. The CSI unit is on hand collecting feather casings to determine who may be connected to this plant. Detectives believe it may be connected to a mafia operating in Thailand as instructions are written in what appears to be Thai.
Anada Boom-Nam was called in as a translation specialist. Ms. Boom-Nam served in Vietnam as ground crew in the Air Force. An accident left Ms. Boom-Nam a paraplegic but she still serves the county as a translation specialist. Ms. Boom-Nam is fluent in Vietnamese and in Thai. "I will translate," Ms. Boom-Nam stated. She would not respond to any other comments and seemed very focused.

(Pictured: Anada Boom-Nam, a paraplegic, arrives on scene to translate)


(Pictured: Chicken Nugget Processing plant discovered in Hick County)



(Pictured: Chicken Nugget Processing plant discovered in Hick County)



Officers have the processing plant cordoned off but a concerned community continues to gather out of curiosity. In Hick County, processing chicken is an offense punishable by death and hasn't happened since the Anti-Processed Food movements of 1983.

 
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I have simply run out of ovation capabilities..they won't let me give anymore, so I'm just sayin' for the record....well done you guys!!! My first laugh of the morning and it was a good one!!!
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Arkansas poultry no longer banned in Japan

Russian ban on Arkansas poultry also ended, but China has yet to resume trade
Release Date: 10/28/2013
Japan has ended its ban on the import of poultry from Arkansas. In late June, Japan banned the import of poultry from Arkansas, after a poultry farm in Boles, Ark., had chickens showing antibodies consistent with H7N7 avian influenza.

The Japanese did however express concern over Hick county's affairs and is drawing up paperwork to ban direct imports.​
 
Citizens Respond to the Crow for Foster Parents~ After the plea in yesterday's paper for foster parents to help care for all the orphaned chicks now taking shelter at the Broken Shell Chick Home, many have answered the call. Many have stepped forward and took chicks into their homes and this editor wants to thank all those who have and all who dropped off bedding, chick starter and scratch at the Broken Shell Home. Many of those who applied for chicks were approved.....


Mrs. Kat Knip took in one chick and may consider adoption. Ms. Fifi Line took in a special needs chick.



Henry Peckt was persuaded by Mrs. Peckt to take on a group of chicks...on a trial basis.

Still others applied but were turned down at this time......for obvious reasons.....

 
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Beekissed said:
Citizens Respond to the Crow for Foster Parents~ After the plea in yesterday's paper for foster parents to help care for all the orphaned chicks now taking shelter at the Broken Shell Chick Home, many have answered the call. Many have stepped forward and took chicks into their homes and this editor wants to thank all those who have and all who dropped off bedding, chick starter and scratch at the Broken Shell Home. Many of those who applied for chicks were approved.....


Mrs. Kat Knip took in one chick and may consider adoption. Ms. Fifi Line took in a special needs chick.



Henry Peckt was persuaded by Mrs. Peckt to take on a group of chicks...on a trial basis.

Still others applied but were turned down at this time......for obvious reasons.....
Click to expand...
That's it! Henry Peckt?!?!? I gotta take a break from reading this.. oh, my head hurts at all the PUNNING!
 
Hicks County Jail in the News Again!

Once again the Hick's County PD has made the news and not in a favorable light. Hick's County corrections officer, Tina Toulouse, is shown here in a compromising position with a high profile prisoner, Roy Cuff, in maximum security, whom she supplied with alcohol and "special treatment" out in the yard. Inquiries are being made into departmental policy and infractions, with disciplinary measures to be set in motion. Mrs. Toulouse has been placed on indefinite suspension pending the investigation.


Roy Cuff has been sentenced to do community service for his part in this episode, to be served immediately while he is still incarcerated in the local facility. He will be guarded heavily while he entertains chicks down at the Broken Shell Home for Chicks at their upcoming Halloween party. ~United Press



 
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