The Dave Leghorn Story~ A Murder Mystery of Epically Punny Proportions

[Beekissed]

We are moving a story line from the What is this chicken thinking? thread to this one so that this evolving story line can be followed and the other thread won't be hijacked. Feel free to add to the story, but try to keep it appropriately funny. If you see your pics on this thread, they have been stolen..um...uh..borrowed from the other thread and we thank you for the donation to the story plot.

First, some background...over on the "What is this chickens thinking?" thread there were some pics of a rooster looking for his keys. He was a large white rooster with golden wash on his feathers and nice big red comb and wattles.

A pic showed a silkie finding the keys behind a wood pile...but we all know a silkie can't see a thing with that furry hat on, so the keys just wouldn't be found. Until....

Well! That solves the mystery of his missing keys.... I don't even want to know how those got there, Gladys!

 

[3chickchicks]

News of the county being in shambles has reached Washington as citizens express outrage at what has taken place.
President O'Llama will make a statement from the White House lawn later today.

(Pictured: President O'Llama prepares to give a statement later today)

 

[Beekissed]

As the word goes out about the Hick County orphans, more artists are wanting to give of their talents to the Chicks for Change benefit concert. A spokesbird involved in organizing the event, Al Flack, states offers to sing are pouring in from all over. The Beagles have even reunited for the event and have agreed to show, if they can keep from fighting...many wonder if their tempers will be on a short leash as they travel together to this event.


The Beagles, reunited to appear at the Chicks for Change concert. Skenny Rogers will be appearing as well to sing a duet with Dolly Carton.

Lynbyrd Skynbyrd was also scheduled to appear but their plane went down, tragically, and all that was found at the crash site were scattered feathers. They will be greatly missed to the world of music and to the world in general and the concert will serve to act as a tribute to their passing as well. The Beagles will be covering some of their songs as a tribute to a great band, such as Free Bird, Last of a Dyin' Breed, Tweet Home Alabama, That Coop Smell, Gimme Three Nests, Crow for the Bad Man, Call Me the Breeds. They will also sing some of their own legendary hits: When the Quill Is Gone, Hotel Cowafornia, Midnight Flyer, One of These Fights, Take It Over Easy, Witchy Wyandotte, Peaceful Easy De-fleaing, Seven Biddies Road.


Legendary Three Hog Night will be at Chicks for Change!

Also on the concert rooster is Three Hog Night, who are remembered well for their great musical genius with such songs as Fry a Little Tenderness, Easy to Be Lard, Never Been to Spam, Sham-baa-la, The Crow Must Go On, An Old Fashioned Egg Song, Eli's Crowing, Mama Told Bee(Not to Come), Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog. They will share a private jet to the event with the Marshall Plucker Band and Stink Floyd.

Other bands and artists scheduled to appear are Bawkman Eggturner Overdrive, Blackfeather, Bob Sebright and the Silver Pullet Band, Blue Orpington Cult, Charlie Spaniels Band, Crawsby Quills Mash & Dung, Do Bee Brothers, The Four Crops, Joe Cocker, Broody Blues, Robirda Flock, ZZ Crop, Wild Cherry Eggers, and the Yolkbridge Boys. This reporter will update this list as the artists continue to join this massive benefit concert. We are also getting offers for some comedians to appear, such as Gabriel Egglesias, Buff Foxworthy, Bill Eggvall, Chris Plucker, Eggie Murphy, and Rosecomb Barr. ~United Press

 

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Marijauna Bust at The Coop! A large amount of weed was confiscated at another raid on the local nightspot, The Coop, and charges are being filed against BUD Lipnicky for possession and intent to distribute. He will be charged as an "unchicken" and will serve consecutive sentences for these crimes if convicted. ~Hick County Gazette

Jury Selection Complete in the Tom Wyterock/Roy A. Cuff Trial~ Jurors have been selected for the upcoming explosive trial here in Hick County. They have been sequestered in a hidden location and have been charged by Judge P. Freely to have no contact with the press, family or flockmates until the trial has been concluded. It was a difficult job for both sides of this trial to come to an agreement on potential jurors, with careful consideration given to select a jury of peers for Mr. Wyterock and Mr. Cuff. ~Boone County Chronicle

The Rise in Foster Chicks Crows of a Growing Need for Foster Homes: As the county reels in shock over the multiple murders in the area, some have taken over the orphans of those murdered families and also have taken chicks seized in the local Old McDonald fast food restaurant on Nutrena Lane. Shown here is Rudy Brown attempting to warm all of these chicks as temperatures take a seasonal drop in the area. Anybird willing to accept foster chicks into their coops during this crisis are urged to contact Chick Services and apply to become a foster broody to some of the orphaned chicks. The state will provide chick starter and bedding to anybird willing to help these chicks in need. We are hoping the upcoming Chicks for Change benefit concert will defray some of the costs Mr. Brown has already spent on trying to feed and house all these young chicks. Any donations would be appreciated and can be dropped off at Broken Shell Chick's Home. ~Hick County Gazette

Judge P. Freely Charges the Jury: Judge Freely has charged the jury with their duties in the upcoming trial and repeated the warning that they are to have no clucktact with the press or anybird during the course of the trial or it could result in a mistrial and the case could be dismissed. This could leave the DA's office with egg on their face and throw this already suffering community into a plucker. ~New Yolk Times

 

[mrchicks]

The police must be grasping at straws at this point. How they feel that this innocent little guy could be involved is anyone's guess. The shackles seem to be just a wee bit overboard. It does not appear that he is a flight risk.

 

[theoldchick]

Another day arrives





To find Captain Steele and Dr. Stump hard at work



The CSI team get their breakfast




Then get right to work on the first clue. They carefully collect a DNA sample left on this log




While other technicians reenact the murder scene



While the original scene is scoured for clues






CSI Shirley starts on the tedious task of sand scrapings. " You never know what you will find in the bottom of a dust bath hole", she states as she curls her toes. "Many cases have been solved by clues left in a dust bath hole."




Meanwhile the locals are questioned


Mr. Dink burps in alarm. "Murder?" munch, chew slurp, smack, "Murder? Who would murder a chicken? Keys? What keys?" Munch, slurp, chew, smack. "You're nuts. Nobody was murdered around here."




"I didn't see no murder," says Ace Promazine. "I'm to busy with my red ball. Jolly Ball my tail."






"Murder?" Ms. Brood-a-lot growls. "I'm too busy keeping these eggs warm. I don't have no time for a murder. Get out of my face. I dare that murderer to get near me. I'll take his giblets."





"Hmmmmm" whispered Little Sister. "We must get in the mind of the murderer. Think like him or her. I wonder what has motivated this individual to go on such a gory spree? I see much anger in this creature. Much anger, indeed."





"Whoa, dude, who was murdered?" asked Leggs. "Like, really? Here? Bad vibes for sure."



"Murder!!!" gasps Crazy Eyes. "A hen was murdered here? OMG! I'm getting a species reassignment surgery




"No one will think I'm a chicken now!"





So the mystery continues......


Captain Steele will not give up.

 

[Beekissed]

I have simply run out of ovation capabilities..they won't let me give anymore, so I'm just sayin' for the record....well done you guys!!! My first laugh of the morning and it was a good one!!!

 

[Beekissed]

Citizens Respond to the Crow for Foster Parents~ After the plea in yesterday's paper for foster parents to help care for all the orphaned chicks now taking shelter at the Broken Shell Chick Home, many have answered the call. Many have stepped forward and took chicks into their homes and this editor wants to thank all those who have and all who dropped off bedding, chick starter and scratch at the Broken Shell Home. Many of those who applied for chicks were approved.....


Mrs. Kat Knip took in one chick and may consider adoption. Ms. Fifi Line took in a special needs chick.



Henry Peckt was persuaded by Mrs. Peckt to take on a group of chicks...on a trial basis.

Still others applied but were turned down at this time......for obvious reasons.....

 

[Bogtown Chick]

This report just in!!! Down at the Redlight district off Scratch Avenue. Renown for it's dancing -- brooding on all hours of the night. Regular customer Roger NewHampton got into the establishments fermented mash a bit too deep --partying into the wee hours.




Feeling emboldened on his way home he stumbled over some copper coils: It seems he found Granny Moses' 'still outback in the woods and has been helping himself to the fermenting corn mash when he's not been dancing.

Enforcer, Hans "The Rock" Johnson down at the Coop on Scratch Avenue and reported employee of Frankie BOSS SilkPantees underworld....

Went Ahead and took Care of his Wayward and overzealous customer while his BOSS is serving time:




A Grim reminder of what you get when you steal from BOSS Silkpantees and his syndicate of Cronies.


Mr Newhampton has decided to go into hiding with the Federal Witness Protection program but not before he spoke of the harsh conditions the Dancing Girls need to endure at the hands of Hans "The Rock".







Rosie Rhode-Island confirmed the story. When production is low the girls need to take cover and stay out of Reach of Hans' enforcing ways.





"I see you up there girls. You can run. But you can't hide!"

They report him as stalking them while off duty. CREEPER!



When they do report for their shift he is lurking at the Pop-door. The girls are thinking of "Free-Ranging" on their own but they are not sure how long-reaching Boss Silkpantees' reach is even from the hoos-cow, ensuring his roostitution ring stays in tact, unfortunately.

This sort of attention brought on by the unruly customers down on Scratch Avenue and by a certain Mr. Silkpantee's employees is surely unwanted given the press of Dave Leghorn's demise and the missing keys....

>>>Duh, Duh, Duuuuhhhhh<<<

 

[theoldchick]

Sporting Dread Locks, Steele surveys another area of the crime.




With steady eye he inspects a clue





He's alarmed to learn there is another aspect to this complicated case



His CSI team has discovered bricks of heroin under a bundle of marijuana packed in a plastic case




The taste test confirms that it is indeed heroin



Angry and insulted that the case is not going any where, Dr. Stump growls and calls an old friend to help him




The Old Chick arrives in her custom aircraft carrier



She surveys the area from the Navigator's chair


With a single word, several aircraft are ready for an air strike









The electric chair is ready, she warns



But I also have other means to make the perp confess, she adds.






We are ready to take on anybody, adds Steele



Yes, we are, confirms The Old Chick






You better run, warns Dr. Stump. We are coming for you. Don't bother hiding.