The Dave Leghorn Story~ A Murder Mystery of Epically Punny Proportions

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In preparation for the town party, a fundraiser breakfast was held at the VFW hall. Shockingly, when the pancakes were served, the attendees realized they were actually pressed chicken.




Panic ensued, the cooks were attacked. The furious mob dragged them outside and tarred and feathered them.

 



***THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS GRAPHIC PHOTOS*** Photos may not be suitable for young readers

Authorities, lead by information from Norm Masque, the raccoon accused of tampering with school lunches, have discovered a chicken nugget processing plant within Hick County. Norm Masque, pictured below upon capture, has been cooperative with authorities in exchange for a reduced sentence and protection.




The scene was gruesome. Even well seasoned officers often had to excuse themselves they were so upset or ill when they discovered the processing plant. The CSI unit is on hand collecting feather casings to determine who may be connected to this plant. Detectives believe it may be connected to a mafia operating in Thailand as instructions are written in what appears to be Thai.
Anada Boom-Nam was called in as a translation specialist. Ms. Boom-Nam served in Vietnam as ground crew in the Air Force. An accident left Ms. Boom-Nam a paraplegic but she still serves the county as a translation specialist. Ms. Boom-Nam is fluent in Vietnamese and in Thai. "I will translate," Ms. Boom-Nam stated. She would not respond to any other comments and seemed very focused.

(Pictured: Anada Boom-Nam, a paraplegic, arrives on scene to translate)


(Pictured: Chicken Nugget Processing plant discovered in Hick County)



(Pictured: Chicken Nugget Processing plant discovered in Hick County)



Officers have the processing plant cordoned off but a concerned community continues to gather out of curiosity. In Hick County, processing chicken is an offense punishable by death and hasn't happened since the Anti-Processed Food movements of 1983.

 
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Hicks County Jail in the News Again!

Once again the Hick's County PD has made the news and not in a favorable light. Hick's County corrections officer, Tina Toulouse, is shown here in a compromising position with a high profile prisoner, Roy Cuff, in maximum security, whom she supplied with alcohol and "special treatment" out in the yard. Inquiries are being made into departmental policy and infractions, with disciplinary measures to be set in motion. Mrs. Toulouse has been placed on indefinite suspension pending the investigation.


Roy Cuff has been sentenced to do community service for his part in this episode, to be served immediately while he is still incarcerated in the local facility. He will be guarded heavily while he entertains chicks down at the Broken Shell Home for Chicks at their upcoming Halloween party. ~United Press



 
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Meanwhile the girls continue with their dancing...

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Oh, oh, oh!!!!! Can't stop laughing over that one!!!!
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And Mrs. Rodriguez repeats a familiar refrain......

IMPEACH HEEM!....and then FRY HEEM!!!

.....and other residents of Hick County are starting to get some insight into why Mr. Rodriguez, who before was merely hen pecked, is now a capon.
 
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More offers are coming in from different artists to play at the Chicks for Change concert! Tone Yolk, P. Biddy, K.D. Langashan, Blake Shetland, the Dixie Chicks, Saline Dijon, and M. C. Hampshire. Many will remember M.C. Hampshire from his classic hip crop song "Can't Stuff This". ~Sheeple Magazine

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