- Thread starter
- #51
I'll tell you a little secret. I raised three boys by myself all these years and I think every single parent has this little fantasy of a time when they can finally do something for themselves...maybe travel, lose weight(yeah, right), have a clean house that stays clean, a quiet moment when no one wants something from you.
Finally, the boys all flew the nest and I had the house to myself! It was wonderful! It was neat and clean! It was quiet and peaceful! I had all the time in the world to do anything I wanted!
Flash forward a few months and I found out the truth about a rich fantasy life....reality always hits you smack dab on the nose where it hurts the most. It wasn't wonderful. The house was TOO neat and clean...I found myself leaving messes for a few days so that it would look like someone lived there. It was TOO quiet. I could hear the clocks ticking...loudly. The time that I had was empty of laughter and movement and the things I wanted to do the most involved spending time with my boys.
Then the multiple car wrecks and work injuries that pretty much made mulch of my spine finally became too much to bear after years of working in pain and I found that I couldn't do my job properly, couldn't lift anything like I had always done, couldn't drive for long without my feet going numb and needly, couldn't turn my neck without getting dizzy and wanting to throw up. Ick. I couldn't do my job anymore and had to quit that kind of work. All those years of being needed by my patients and now...nothing.
Got rid of all my animals and traveled a little, looking for something to do and be where people needed me...couldn't seem to find the right thing.
Yeah...I'm about a year and half into being stuck with no one to care for...still looking for the right place to be and the right thing to do with my life. I'm a person that likes to be busy and to feel like I'm helping folks. You can probably tell by how much time I'm on this site now that I have time on my hands. I've been working since I was 14 and now, no job of any consequence.
Feeling useless has become the reality of my wonderful, free, me-time life....ironic, huh?
I'll sort it out and find the zone...but until then these pitiful chickens will give me a new project to do that doesn't require a major shift in the universe to accomplish. My mid-life crisis comes down to a few featherless birds!
Oh, the bitter sweet irony!
Finally, the boys all flew the nest and I had the house to myself! It was wonderful! It was neat and clean! It was quiet and peaceful! I had all the time in the world to do anything I wanted!
Flash forward a few months and I found out the truth about a rich fantasy life....reality always hits you smack dab on the nose where it hurts the most. It wasn't wonderful. The house was TOO neat and clean...I found myself leaving messes for a few days so that it would look like someone lived there. It was TOO quiet. I could hear the clocks ticking...loudly. The time that I had was empty of laughter and movement and the things I wanted to do the most involved spending time with my boys.
Then the multiple car wrecks and work injuries that pretty much made mulch of my spine finally became too much to bear after years of working in pain and I found that I couldn't do my job properly, couldn't lift anything like I had always done, couldn't drive for long without my feet going numb and needly, couldn't turn my neck without getting dizzy and wanting to throw up. Ick. I couldn't do my job anymore and had to quit that kind of work. All those years of being needed by my patients and now...nothing.
Got rid of all my animals and traveled a little, looking for something to do and be where people needed me...couldn't seem to find the right thing.
Yeah...I'm about a year and half into being stuck with no one to care for...still looking for the right place to be and the right thing to do with my life. I'm a person that likes to be busy and to feel like I'm helping folks. You can probably tell by how much time I'm on this site now that I have time on my hands. I've been working since I was 14 and now, no job of any consequence.
Feeling useless has become the reality of my wonderful, free, me-time life....ironic, huh?