Things you never said until you had chickens.......

[Wheelz]

"The fat waddle never looked so cute"
"I don't care if he just crowed in your ear, he is my fluffykins!"
Lol and so many chick cataracts... And spelling fails.. Haha

 

[CherishHolland]

My 8 year old dd- mom I think Marilyn ate a ping pong ball

Me- Ok.....Wait what? Bring her here

DD-ok

Me- hunny thats her crop she just gorged herself on feed

another one
DH-What are dong Cherish
Me- Making the kids a yogurt parfait
dh- can I have one?
Me- only if you like meal worms
Dh walks off mumbling about how the chickens eat better than him haha

This afternoon while giving the girls their salad and parfait
Nugget get out of the yogurt it is not for pedicures
explaining to the lady at the Waffle House that I want a box for the table scraps Id like to take it home to my chickens
and this morning had a good one
while cleaning their room I say to my 7week old BR pullet Pablo Francine quit acting like a cock because she was coming up and pecking my legs I thought DH was going to fall over laughing

Also get your corn out of the grit
oh I could go on and on
last night to my leghorn Popcorn who managed to fly up to the counter You got up here you can get down and quit flying like your an eagle

 

[ca]

Participated in an evacuation exercise for a nuclear plant accident in the area on Tuesday. The officers took down the name and other pertinent info and proceeded to ask if I had pets. I sais yes, 100 chickens that needed to be evacuated

. Thank goodness it was only an exercise. That statement had everybody scramble! Why on earth would somebody have 100 chickens? That's not possible! "Are they for McDonalds?" That question of course caused me to give them a lecture in backyard chicken math and why these are not the same as what you eat at McDonald. I had to try not to laugh though.

 

[BunnyLover44]

'Don't fight over the worm!!'
'Stop flying soo much!'
'Ok...Stop pooping or you don't get the worm!'

 

[alindm1]

"Look both ways before crossing the street. STOP!!! I said look BOTH ways not just left! Look out for the car!"

"I will give you until the count of 10 to get back here before I come and get you."

"WOW this egg is warm! Have you been sitting on it ALL day?"

"Phhew, Tawny your breath smells."

"You all need to share!"

"Chestnut! Get your fluffy butt back here right now!"

Arguing with my neighbor about pets...

"My pet makes me breakfast. What does your dog do?"

 

[plund]

What kind of poop is it? Aww, no, wipe it off. In answer to being told I have poop on me. I didn't even know there were different kinds of chicken poop until recently. The other part of this is,
Is it good poop? At one time I thought all chicken poop was bad.

 

[JTRZWestminster]

My Wiife: "why did you even get chickens?"
Me: "I'm experiencing some thing I've never experienced before!"
Wife: " well I'm stepping in things I never stepped in before!"

 

[abserbean]

to my eight year old daughter_"Sarah, for the last time, chickens don't want to come to a tea party and they don't want to wear doll clothes!" the girl is obsessed.
apologizing on the phone "I"m sorry, I have to go, a hawk is swooping at my chickens!" stupid hawks

 

[ArtGirl]

It sure gives a new meaning to the phrase "hanging with my peeps"
Now I have to explain that we have chickens.
"Hey I just found a termite infested stump. I don't what to poor fuel on it because of fire but don't know of another way to guarantee them being exterminated. Do you know another way to get rid of them."
(me) "Oh, I know a great way to get rid of them." Muahahaha

 

[PekinBantam]

"Why is the dog food disappearing?"

"Babe! I found out where the dog food is going!"

(I go in to steal eggs, and my americauna jumps out like I'm gonna murder her) I say "oh, you big freakin'chicken!"

"Get shoes on now before you step in chicken poo"

"Take your shoes off at the door theyre Covered in chicken poo!"

"The ducks are walking in the door, they must want peas"

Oh and my boys and i have got the "quack" down just right so we can carry on conversations with the ducks.

My ducks TRY to eat the dog food, but the dogs chase them away. Kinda entertaining to watch them come back and do it over and over. I also managed to copy my youngest ducks' quacks. They actually replied!