Things you never said until you had chickens.......

[Cantonmentchickenmama]

18 pages. Wow. Some of these sound very familiar. Here are a few of mine.

I say this to Dorian and Sterling, two of my roos.
"That's good boys. Let the girls eat first. You are such sweet boys."

I make sure know how pretty they are. Sterling hears...
"Sterling, you have the fluffiest pants I have ever seen! Have you been raiding MC Hammer's parachute pants?"
He's a LF Cochin.

Byron, another roo, my worst...
"I swear to gawd, if I didn't need your semen, you'd be in the freezer! Go ahead, come at me again and see who wins!"
"Byron, if you weren't so pretty... I swear..." "Bridgette, I am sorry your boyfriend is an a-hole." "Byron, she's MINE. I let you borrow her! That's it. Lets see how Milton, Lester and Beakman like their new meat."
Lester, Beakman and Milton are in a bachelor pad by themselves. Yes, I like watching the 3 of them gang up on Byron. Yeah, that's another weird one for you.

Lester and Beakman, more Beakman, insist I am their girlfriend. They pick grass for me and pace their run bok-boking at me to come get my treat from them.
"No Beakman, you eat your grass. Thanks, but I don't want it."

Chicks pecking feathers in the brooder...
"Stupid chicks are eating each others butts again!"

Said while de-pasty butting a chick.
"Dewey, get the phone. I have poop in my hands."

I am a bit of a germaphobe since getting the chickens. I must have gloves to clean the nest boxes out.
"I am not knowingly sticking my hands in chicken poop, accidentally while clean the coop is okay."

I have 3 cockerels running free range and fending for themselves...
"Boys! Stop molesting each other!"

Everywhere I go, everything I see can be turned into a coop... Everything.

"Dewey, did you take a vacation day for the chicken swap? If not, you are skipping work."
"I am going to Maryland next month." "What for?" "More chickens and to sell some." "Can't you do that here?" "No."

"Yep. I paid $400 for 5 chicks. Yes, CHICKS."

I love it!

 

[fishnet1971]

while walking through the mall "hmmm..... I wonder how those doll cloths would look on my girls????"

 

[Appylover]

Just yesterday I told the feed store worker to please load the feed in the red BMW out front. The people around me in line looked at me like I had lost my mind.

 

[Pele]

heehee, what a fun thread. Here's a few of mine:

"Who's a cute chicken-face, who? You are!"

"Who wants wattle massages?"

"stop pecking the house!"

"Git that squirrel, show him who's boss!"

to an unfortunate employee at the store trying to load my hatchback with various lumber and items:
"No, it'll fit, I promise. Just take it out of the box."

 

[GardenGal]

Yeah, they don't even blink at the feed store when we fill our little hatchback to the gills with bags of chicken stuff. I've learned though, it doesn't pay to haul hay in a small car - we're still digging hay out of it!

 

[Appylover]

I have a 2004 BMW x3 its a mid size SUV but who expects to see any type of BMW at the feed store.
Also today we had this convo
Me: Hunny the silver fish and water bugs are back in the bathroom
Hubby: I will call the bug guy
Me: Naw lets see if the chickens will eat them
Hubby: Ok but your cleaning up the poop
Later in the day I had forgot about them
Kid: MOM the chickens in my lap
Me: Well get it off
Kid: But I'm on the toilet
Me: Shoo her off shes not going to kill you
Kid: MOM! SHE POOPED ON ME
Me: Well the toilet paper is right there.

 

[DawnCols]

"Do you have chicken nipples? No, they're smaller than hog nipples." (To the clerk at TSC)

"We'd love to stay for the party but we have to put the chickens to bed."

"Look honey, I found another grub! Woohoo!!!"

"No, you can't eat my wedding ring."

 

[dollychick]

an 18 year old neighbor girl brought her bf over to introduce him to us and she wanted to show him our "cute furry chickens" (aka silkies/showgirls). now i have aggervated this poor girl since she was little and to this day i still do. well we walk back and he was shocked to see our chickens were truely fuzzy. and here is what was said.
bf- they really are furry.
me- yep, what haven't you seen a furry chick before?
bf- nope.
me- ya it seems most of the chicks these days shave (pointing to a very bald turken that just walked out of the coop)
bf- *** happened to that one?
me- shaving accident. hopefully your chick does a better job (refurring to the neighbor girl)
neighbor girl- (severly blushing)
bf- rofl
and i proudly chalk up yet another time i made that poor girl blush.

you are so bad, she will get you back. she may have to think about it to make it a good one, But she will do it.

 

[GardenGal]

Appylover, oh my WORD, your conversation made me laugh! Thanks, I really needed that

 

[SkinNFluff]

you are so bad, she will get you back. she may have to think about it to make it a good one, But she will do it.

if that's the only thing she gets me back for i will be very lucky. lol