Things you never said until you had chickens.......

[Chicken Staff]

Oh, guess what? I saw a bug in the backyard today.

Gertrude is trying to lay an egg on my bed again.

Could you please spray off the deck, (our visitors) will be here in an hour.

Could you please get the broom, the girls are across the street again.

Could you please pick up some lettuce and meal worms on your way home?

Gertrude! Stop taking food out of Pixel's (the cat) mouth!

(Speaking to the girls when I let them out in the morning) Good morning ladies, what do you want to destroy today?

 

[K-12 Chickens]

"No Blackie! You don't lay your eggs in the garage or the house!" *Blackie squawks* "I don't care!! Go lay your eggies in the nest box NOW!"

"Good night chickies!"

"The chickens will eat it!"

"Save it for the chickens!"

 

[NoZolbitty]

I'm going to visit with the ladies. (Said to my husband before I go out to commune with the flock.)

You have such a cute butt. (Pip used to look like her butt was dipped in vanilla icing. And I admmit that I may have said this before I got chickens.

)

Dang it! My nipples keep leaking! (Darn screw-in chicken nipples. Even with teflon tape around the threads.)

Don't you dare poop on me!

No, you cannot swallow my fingers.

Those are my FINGERS.

No, you cannot hide in my shirt.

Do you need to sit on my head?

Oooh the ladies would love to eat that. (Said whenever I find a worm or bug.)

You know.....Inqiring beaks wanna know

 

[Cochaura]

It never occurred to me that chickens fart - I guess all things do, but I have never heard them

 

[Cochaura]

My post about chickens farting was supposed to be a reply to one of the above posts, but I must have hit the wrong button.

A few things never said until we had chickens:

When leaving work - "I have to go home and check 27 chick butts." (for pasting)
"Lil Bit just gave me a wedgie!" - one of our chickens jumped on my boyfriends back when he was bent over and actually managed to grab the band of his boxers and pulled on them quite hard!
"I got heat exhaustion shoveling chicken s!*^@ out of the coop for hours."

 

[Swissmiss989]

I took my injured silkie with me to my sisters wedding...It was in a city about 5 hours away from mine lol

"Oh I gotta go check my mikie!"

On our way home from the wedding we hit a deer and the cops and towe truck come to help us at 3am

Officer "everyone ok?" Me "yep, me, my DH and my chicken are a okay!" Officer "...your chicken...?" Me "yep! *pulls out my mikie* see my chicken!"

Towe guy "need a ride home?" Me "yep let me grab my chicken! *grabs chicken and hops in towe truck*"

Thats the best most recent lol

 

[1hotmoma]

"All RIGHT, Brenda, we know you laid an egg already! Shut UP about it fer gawd's sake!"
"Oh - there's a new crower! Gotta go check to see who it is!"
"Ooooh! Earwigs! Come here, girls! nummies!"
"That yard just calls out for chickens. How can they not have a coop somewhere?". (Idle comment, passing a great yard perfectly suited for a flock o' free-ranging fluffy-butt ladies.)
"Whew! normal poop!" as I flick it off my lap.
"Well, well, well, who has learned to fly?!? Get back into that brooder.". Followed in short order by, "Whose poop is THIS?"
"Uh oh - that's the alarm call - lemme go see what's triggered Carl.". (My dominant roo.)
On the phone. "Sorry about that - I'm in the yard with the chickens and it's Crow Fest time."

This all sounds like something I have said..

 

[K-12 Chickens]

I laugh quietly to myself as I read more of these!

"Miss Ba-la-kie!"

"Gotta feed your imaginary chicks Goldie?"

"The barred rock chick butts are so white and cute!" *pinches*

 

[cheeka]

Did you see that? I just pulled a tick off Ollie and Wilma snatched it and ate it, even the little ring of Ollie hair around it's head!

(at work, the phone rings, my boss answers)
it's for you, it's Christine, she says she wants to give you worms.

heading outside with a big slice of watermelon: Lookalookalooka my chickapeeps, Comesa my babies!

No Ruby! drop the chicklet! I've told you already, they are NOT treat dispensers! (to my dog while she's eating chick poo)

 

[1hotmoma]

I startled my hubby yesterday by walking in the house and stating: "Stan has butt lice."

I startled him again when he followed me to the pet department of walmart and asked what was I looking for.

"Shampoo for Stan's butt lice."

I heart a snicker from the next isle. Ain't no telling what that person thought.

This made my day!!